cutting again.

[vital tusk]

i’m cutting again. and i cant stop. and now i’m geting thiughts of jumping off the boat. it’s night time. noone would know. or care. i’m unloved

[urban nimbus]

Please don't do it. A lot of people care.

[urban nimbus]

Are you still there?

[vital tusk]

hey

[urban nimbus]

Hey. I know it might be a lot but please don't jump or harm yourself

If you want to vent you can dm me or do it here

[vital tusk]

i just

dont know anymore

[urban nimbus]

I know how it feels but harming urself is not the answer trust me

[vital tusk]

ive done it for years. it’s my only relief

[urban nimbus]

It might feel that way but its not actually helping

[vital tusk]

but surely it is… i cant imagine a life without cutting and wanting to jump

[urban nimbus]

No it isn't. Its kinda like drugs it feels good for a moment but makes you more miserable in the long run

[urban nimbus]

What do you not know if I might ask?

[vital tusk]

why i need to keep going

[urban nimbus]

That's truly a difficult question to answer. You will find a reason if it's a person, activity or something else. You just need to keep going

[vital tusk]

i dont want to continue livimg just for another person if i’ll keep being miserable

nor an activity

[urban nimbus]

But you won't be miserable anymore trust me

[vital tusk]

yeah mate sure

thats what even my fucking therapist told me. noone likes me enough to care and i don’t want to have to care either

[urban nimbus]

You'll or may even already have found people that care

[vital tusk]

why should they care for me

[urban nimbus]

Because they like you and we care for people that we like

You probably care about somebody else too

[vital tusk]

but im a horrible person. so bad that i shouldn’t be allowed to be called a person. more like an it. indont deserve freedom or love or pronouns or a name or hospitality

[urban nimbus]

You deserve all of that

Even if you don't feel like you do

[vital tusk]

i dont. you dont understand.

[urban nimbus]

Thats true I don't understand your full situation but you are a human and by that alone you deserve all of the above

[urban nimbus]

You still here?

[vital tusk]

i wish i wasnt

if i disappear at xx:00 it’s time limit btw

[urban nimbus]

Time limit?

[vital tusk]

phone

strict parental fuckwits

[urban nimbus]

I see but please even during that time please don't harm yourself.

[vital tusk]

no promises

[urban nimbus]

Time will fix most wounds. You just need to push through and let the wounds heal

[vital tusk]

i cant

i’ve tried for years, okay? years

[urban nimbus]

You can

[vital tusk]

its been too long

ive given up

[urban nimbus]

Please if you harm yourself you won't fix anything it will just make it worse

[vital tusk]

im done man.

[urban nimbus]

Is there anything you enjoy doing or used to enjoy doing?

[vital tusk]

nothing. i’m not living how it was intended to live.

[urban nimbus]

It might seem that way but it's not

[vital tusk]

idk

[urban nimbus]

Do you play any video games? Roblox, Minecraft or anything else?

[vital tusk]

sure ig. sorry for being such a waste of your time.

[urban nimbus]

You're not a waste of my time

[vital tusk]

i am

[urban nimbus]

You're not.

Trust me I'm literally not doing anything else than being on discord

[urban nimbus]

Well if you played them you must have enjoyed them

Wouldn't that be a reason to not harm urself? So you can keep playing games you enjoy even if it's just a little bit of enjoyment?

[midnight sierra]

Crooks you play Minecraft right?