How do I come out as gay to my parents

[grand ridge]

I reccomend slowly giving hints that you are part of the community until it feels like the right moment to come out

[rustic topaz]

I've been thinking the same but I just don't know what ther most effective and sutble hints for this are

I don't want to come out abbrubtly becasue my family have a few sen needs that may cause a negative response

[grand ridge]

I think small hints like beign lgbt friendly at first then slowly starting to compliment some men near them might be the best solution

[rustic topaz]

Been doing that they still have no idea

[grand ridge]

Maybe wearing pride pins might help (you can make them yourself) if they ask you why you have them and you're not ready to come out yet you can just say you like to support the community

[rustic topaz]

Can try

But im not very optomistise becasue they refuesd to even acknolwege my oldersister becoming queer so I feel that I may just be disregarded

[grand ridge]

Hmm they seem homophobic but a good explanation might work maybe next time when they're beign homophobic you might want to tell talk to them about it beign disrespectful and that lgbt people are still humans it might be a bit risky but they might change their mind about it especially if they truly love you they might think about understanding their child

[rustic topaz]

My dad will not change his views because there religous so I am trapped in myself i do not care for religon

[grand ridge]

I'm the conversation you can include the fact that their God loves everyone as they are and he for ever will

[rustic topaz]

I am also the only male child so if i am gay i cannot carry on the family name which breaks tradition

[grand ridge]

Then adoption might be the thing to consider

[rustic topaz]

They want grandkids and they want the to have my last name not one when my sister get married, they said they have to be biologically mine

[graceful lotus]

That is what they want, but what actually really matters is what you want.

[rustic topaz]

But I feel trapped because it is what is expected of me i am "ment" to carry on the family name

[graceful lotus]

How that, you can t have both family names ?

[grand ridge]

Your family seems very strictly homophobic as this conversation goes i see more of the homophobic ways you might have to wait until you are able to move out and then you can decide your fate if they won't accept you then you might want to just cut them out of your life

[rustic topaz]

Only male i got sisters not brothers @graceful lotus

[grand ridge]

It might be hard but will be worth it

[rustic topaz]

It denifnatly may be worth it

I have changed my discord pfp in scereted to atleast feel myself because they can see what my discord has

In the protective parnet way

[agile plinth]

it may be

[rustic topaz]

This just feels so wrong thinking about cutting them off as there my parents dunno if u know what i mean

[agile plinth]

It sounds wrong but if you have to you have to.

[graceful lotus]

So you can't keep your family name plus the one of your partner ?

[rustic topaz]

I can't no sadly

Wouldnt sound right

[agile plinth]

oh

[rustic topaz]

What last name goes with my instials JMR ( R is my last name

[graceful lotus]

And your partner doesnt want to take your name ?

[rustic topaz]

Same issue wouldnt go together

[agile plinth]

oh

[rustic topaz]

I don't know if I am right but if they get suspisous they can make me say cant they?

[agile plinth]

I don’t think they can :p

[graceful lotus]

I like it.

[grand ridge]

They sure are your biological parents but accepting their child as they are is the most important thing at beign a proper parent

[agile plinth]

And it’s true too.

[rustic topaz]

I just realy don't know I guess this stage is normal?

[agile plinth]

ig

[graceful lotus]

Maybe they just need more time to accept it, it doesn't mean they love you less, they just need more time, because they think in different ways and we 're all different ! It's why diversity is so cool.

[rustic topaz]

They been like this they found me helping a freind come out as lesiban

And since my older sister came out and they been acting in a way that says dont u become a rainbow club member aswell

[graceful lotus]

Huh, they forgot that this is your life, not their !

[rustic topaz]

think so

[grand ridge]

True

[rustic topaz]

So i am best staying in the closet, or coming out

I will update this thread if the sistuation improves for coming out (hope it does)

[graceful lotus]

Everybody change, because changing is constant, your parents will change their mind it depends how, and maybe on time too, but they will, it is how it works. Just remember you are amazing, and no matters what you have the right to be what you are and to be loved.

Don't let anyone controlling your life. You got this. Love yourself !

[rustic topaz]

I try I just hate being called gay boy and all that crap

Some of my mates already know cause I have told them and it seems like they saw a chance to ruin me and spread it around school

[agile plinth]

oh no that’s really bad. That’s why i haven’t come out to my mates yet

[graceful lotus]

You re sure you want to keep them your friends, if they wants to ruin you, just leave them, or they will make you sad and unhappy, and nobody wants that.

[rustic topaz]

I thought I could trust them and now people on school call me gay and if there ment to sit near me in a lesson they refuse and shout all the homophobic slurs at me

[rustic topaz]

I am not friends with them anymore but I do still feel the negative effects of their actions

[agile plinth]

now that’s why i don’t come out to my freinds. I feel bad btw

[rustic topaz]

I wish I hadn't but what is done is done

[agile plinth]

i feel bad

[graceful lotus]

You should go in a better place and leave this, because it is not normal

Canada is a really good country for this

[rustic topaz]

Im stretched on distance to school at 5mi each way an hour on busses twice a day 4 busses every day 5 days a week

[rustic topaz]

Welcome to Britain my friend

[graceful lotus]

I thought they were good with queer things

But well we can find homophic and haters every where

[rustic topaz]

That's queer not gay

We're really good at queer but not gay and lesbian

[graceful lotus]

Aren't gay and lesbian a part of queer ?

[rustic topaz]

Idk

[graceful lotus]

Britain is like heartstopper, how they can be such firm-minded !

[rustic topaz]

I dunno I just know I am trapped because I am under 18

I think maybe setting a nice pride wallpaper on my phone may be a good enough hint for them if they get a hold of my phone

[agile plinth]

Maybe

[rustic topaz]

Or maybe to risky if I let somebody (, friend borrow my phone)

[graceful lotus]

Yeah ! There is one of my favorites sentences :
Who tries nothing gets nothing !

[rustic topaz]

So what do you mean?

Im a bit confused

[grand ridge]

It is kind of risky but trying gets off some of the weight from your shoulders

[rustic topaz]

Ok I just need to find a decent one then

[grand ridge]

They mean that if you don't try you won't find out

[grand ridge]

I can help finding one

[rustic topaz]

Ah there's ADHD and ASD causing hell again 😂

[rustic topaz]

I'll look on Zedge or look what my phone has by default

[grand ridge]

If you need help finding a decent wallpaper dm me I will find/make you one

[rustic topaz]

Non from phone I am coming from iPhone which has them already so gonna be fun though

[agile plinth]

yea

[grand ridge]

Good luck then you can dm me if you need help or smth

[rustic topaz]

I got one but thanks for the offers

[fallen ridge]

This whole page has helped me quite a bit Thank you. Can u please post how it went?

[rustic topaz]

Just asked for advice that's how it started

[rustic topaz]

Take it slow dont rush it

[rustic topaz]

You may want to speak to her in a outdoor place to release tension but I am not sure because I am gay and still in the closet so not sure myself