upbeat carbon
I haven’t actually really come out to say that I need help, because I dunno, I’ve only venting it out to myself or to my friends and i tried once to confessing everything to my counsellor at school but then i realised they were gonna tell my parents about all these things no matter what, and it would make my situation worse.
I have fun but limiting parents, but my mum has anger issues and likes to vent her anger at me at times, (who am I kidding it’s almost everyday) and it’s been like this for a while. When I was like extremely young, I kinda got introduced to ✨ studying ✨ and it didn’t really fit with me, like every other person on here most likely but that’s not the point. My reason for depression is that I’m just generally extremely slow at processing simple things or tasks, which leads to my parents not being able to be proud of what I do since i make mistakes most of the time, and they always (mostly my mother) speak bad about me and my hobbies or what i like to do from time to time or almost all the time. They criticise me a lot for procrastinating studying and it hurts me just not being able to put an end to this due to my utter laziness. :/
This has really taken quite the toll on my health, both physically and mentally, leading me to suicidal thoughts, engraining the belief of me just being really bad person and I just don’t know how to counter or respond to this dilemma of mine tbh. I don’t know what to do, honestly.