royal stream
I'm 14. How the fuck do I talk to friends? I don't know. I haven't had friends... ever. Thats the fucked up thing. I've lived my whole life trying to have friends, a life... anything.... but FUCK. I dont care about myself. I dont feel like a person who can have feelings. I dont feel like I'm allowed to have opinions. I dont feel like I can say no. People hate me and idk why. I cant live. I'm fucked anyways. I dont feel like a person at all. I dont care about anything. I dont have a passion. I dont feel happiness. I'm fucked. Idk what I am. I want to cut, and cut, and cut, and I DONT GET WHY MY PARENTS CARE ABOUT ME. I DONT CARE ABOUT ME. I'M NOT A PERSON.
They dont get it. I can kill myself every fucking day. I can go jump off a bridge EVERY NIGHT. I can do it. I feel like shit. Why dont I feel like a person.
I never had friends. Ever. At all. I dont know how to talk to friends. I dont know how to say "I want a day to myself". I dont know how to live life. I'm fucking 14. I should've had friends in grade 2 or 3 or 4.. ect but no. No. I didn't. I didn't because I never cared about anything. I'm hurt by this. I'm deeply hurt. I cant even... I tried to have friend groups. I tried to meet people. I tried to text people. I got fucking blocked. People talked SHIT about me behind my back. People wouldn't even say anything to my face. I went to a homophobic and transphobic school. I never thought about myself.... and now I know I'm trans because I dont go to that school.. Not after what bullshit they did there. People told me to kill myself. Every day. EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. I got bullied right infront of the SCHOOL PRINCIPAL... AND SHE ADMITTED TO SEEING THEM ATTACK ME AND TAKE MY PHONE AND THEN SHE TRIED TO PUNISH ME FOR IT. I dont care about life anymore. I've been used and talked shit about so fucking much, I'm desperate to even have 1 fucking friend. I'm a pushover, and cant say no because of what happened growing up. I cant live life. I want to die. I want to cut
restive mica
wary iris