Family and lover trouble tw: metion of past abusers, psychosis, venting

[solar geyser]

Hey so... lately I've been feel sad and angry but mostly hurt by my loved ones past actions... it's almost like they don't understand me at all... and most of my healing I've done on my own.... I done a lot of things alone... especially ever since I escaped my abusers after my abusers (not the loved ones) nearly ended my life.. I had a huge episode last year and ever since then my loved ones seem more distant from me almost like they blame me they still show love and care towards me but I can't help but feel they love me less now than in the past..

Is this all in my head or something..?

Then I think I feel envy towards anyone they show more affection too... or start thinking I'm a bad person or that I'm evil... my abusers thought I was evil when they are the ones who did things that I will not say here to avoid any triggers... trust me it was bad.

[tranquil vigil]

It’s alr to feel like this. I can’t actually tell you or give you a straight answer of if it’s in your head or not, because I’m not there rn. And I can give you the straight answer; everything probably sucks. I know what it feels like. Just know you’re not alone, and you can get through this if you find some hope. You aren’t evil.

[solar geyser]

Thank you... ig I just needed to vent a little bit