TW: sexual harassment & suicidal thoughts

[pallid plume]

I was sexually harassed by my 12yo best friend (I’m 15) and somehow grew a crush on him but I’d never do anything… and I feel like a creep and even though I’ve been clean of SH… I feel like ending it all right now.

[unreal night]

Please don't end it!

We can talk pls. Here or dms whichever better for u

I was in a kinda similar situation

[pallid plume]

Either works…

[unreal night]

Also I'm 13, js so u know, so that if u don't feel comfortable talking

[unreal night]

Ok why don't we talk here

So why does this make u wanna end it?

[pallid plume]

Nah that’s fine idm talking to anyone regardless of age

[pallid plume]

Because it’s all so stupid I mean… he’s my best friend and he’s just perfect and I’m OK with what he did that’s the issue I guess and that because of that he did it I have a crush on him and idfk what to do cuz I feel like a creep and I was already mentally unstable

[unreal night]

But how does this make u feel like a creep? He mentioned it first

[pallid plume]

Because he’s fucking 12

I’m 15

[unreal night]

But that doesn't mean u should commit

U can feel bad.

That's natural. Everyone has that

[pallid plume]

Except I don’t

[unreal night]

Then why u want to end it if u don't feel bad?

[pallid plume]

I’ll say it: I love him. Doesn’t mean I’d do something, but I don’t feel bad about it. I feel like a creep tho.

[unreal night]

Ur not a creep

[pallid plume]

Cuz world would be better off without me also he’s kinda rude sometimes especially some things that happened today…

[unreal night]

In what way is the world a better place without you? As far as I can tell, u seem like a good person.

[unreal night]

Also him being rude isn't ur fault

Ur friend rly reminds me of one I had ngl 😭

[pallid plume]

He dumped bottles of Powerade on my head, and had me get him lunch and drinks and then threw the garbage at me and told me to throw it away rudely. And never apologized or even said thank you.

[unreal night]

How is any of that ur fault?

[pallid plume]

Idk I still feel bad for it

[unreal night]

Well you may always feel bad for it

But u have to let it go

[pallid plume]

You know why it felt bad too, cuz it feels like he doesn’t care about me

Him doing that didn’t bother me. I was fine with him and not mad at him for it

[pallid plume]

Because I can’t stop feeling this way idk

[unreal night]

IM SO SORY MOM. CAUGHT ME ON PHONE

I gtg 😭😞😭😞😞😞😭😞😞😞😞😭

[pallid plume]

Oh alr that’s fine