CW for brief mentions of suicidal ideation & SA || My experience being transmasc in LGBTQ+ spaces.

[trim island]

In my experience many queer spaces celebrate femininity but then demonize masculinity. I'm already a young autistic queer person, and that alone is already a struggle.

I feel like I'm doing something wrong because people tell me I'm 'choosing' the "violent evil" genders instead of the "beautiful moon goddess" genders whenever it's both not a choice and not linked to morality. I struggle with moral OCD, so being trans masc and feeling like my existence is morally wrong whenever I know it isn't is way worse because I will literally obsess over being morally incorrect... I've been told I'm gross for wanting to possibly get bottom surgery in the future because I'm trans masc, while many trans fem people who get bottom surgery are celebrated (as all gender affirming surgery should be). I just don't feel heard by some of the community because "oh, you sure are a man...," (sarcastically) if I complain about specifically my experience (even stuff such as being a victim of SA and extremely frequent sexual harassment, which I have been), as well as facing misogyny from people who still view me as a girl who think "oh, she's just being dramatic.. (as women always are)"

I know I'm not a monster just for being a trans masc person who is bisexual with a preference towards men. But people treat me like I am because I am just not as attracted to women, and the fact that I'm not a woman. It's hard to keep believing I'm not a gross monster whenever people who should support me suddenly don't. It's already hard being transgender in this world, I wish less of this community was biased against supporting transmasc people and instead supported ALL trans people.

I'm just really tired of the constant push of "ew, why would you ever want to be transmasc?" or "you're betraying women" from both inside and outside of the LGBTQ+ community. I don't want to be transgender. It hurts. A lot. And the reason I'm posting this in this channel specifically is because of how negatively some of the groups of people I've met have treated me. I'm tired of being tossed aside as not having bad enough issues to speak up, and it's so tiring whenever you start to believe your own existence is something morally wrong and something you need to fix (hence the suicidal ideation)

Sorry if this post breaks rules. The point is not to be decisive, and it's definitely not all spaces that do this. This is just what I've experienced and how it's affected me.

[fair heath]

what the fuck?? thats horrible and so hypocritical of people to do

ive never really heard about in-community discrimination against transmasc people but now that you say it it kind of makes sense that itd happen

please never be ashamed to be you