#Coming Out as Gay to My Wife of 16 Years (I Have 3 Kids)

3 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

proud wave
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After years of discovering myself and the person I want to be, I have finally found out that I am a homosexual. Under any normal circumstances, this wouldn't be a problem, but this is absolutely terrible for my current situation.

I have been married to my wife for a very long time, and throughout our marriage, we have had three children. They are 13, 11, and 8 years old. I want to be honest with my wife and tell her about this, but I am worried about her feelings and those of my children.

My wife accepts people with 2SLGBTQIA+ identities, and if I weren't her husband, I am sure she would understand me. However, since I AM her husband, I see no other way of this ending than with a divorce.

I have great desires to have intercourse with other men, but these desires are currently insatiable (because I will under no circumstance cheat on my wife). My lust is so strong that I'm not sure how much longer I can feel happy in a relationship with a woman.

It would be great if any of you could give me some advice, but if not, that's okay too. I just love my kids so much and don't want them to have to experience what it's like to have separated parents. I also still love my wife, and even though I am not sexually attracted to her anymore, I still want her as part of my life.

patent geyser
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I've seen a lot of content about lavender marriages, where there's a hetero couple married, but man is gay, woman is lesbian and they're mainly married for tradition or parent forced etc etc.
I suggest coming out and trying to communicate it through. Whenever it is that you remain married for financial support and for the kids, but have male as a other partner (form of polyamorous couple) or another way.
Ofc, do what you feel comfortable with! Talk it out through text, call, letters or face to face. And try to find a compromise!
You're not wrong for feeling like such ofc

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I may not be any help in this, but I'll definitely try