I'm not really sure how to use this. But summary: Insecurities, anxiety, and feelings alone. | Pridecord | Page 1

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:02 PM

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I feel so insecure. I hate the body I'm in. I hate my voice, I hate my looks, I hate my weight, and I hate literally everything else about myself.

I always feel like the people I care about secretly hate me and find me stupid and annoying. I feel completely alone, despite having family members and friends. I can't even talk about my problems without feeling like I'm being self-centered. I hate it.

Even when I do vent, I feel like my problems are swept under the rug and I feel so insignificant. I can't even live peacefully with my identity without being criticised. It's all stupid.

My paranoia and anxiety has been getting worse too, yet I'm being called overdramatic and I'm told to get over it.

I'm also most likely going to be moving away from the school and home I'm currently in. Which means I'll have to leave behind the only people that ever understood me.

I don't know. There's so many issues circling in my brain and venting doesn't do anything to fix it.

I also hate that literally no one respects my privacy. Especially my mother. People like to poke and praud at me, even though I HATE BEING TOUCHED. What makes people think they have the right to touch people who don't want to be touched? I don't care if you're a family member, I don't care if you're a friend. RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES FOR NATURE'S SAKE. MY GOSH.

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AUGH. People get under my skin.

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:05 PM

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hi

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i'd like to help :3

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:07 PM

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Oh! And another thing! My mom is absolutely RUINING MY LIFE!!

I'm not allowed to have a job because that requires a car and car gas costs a lot. And I'm not allowed to get my permit because I'm not "MaTure EnOugh". I NEED TO SAVE UP FOR COLLEGE!! I WANT TO GO TO AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STATE FOR COLLEGE, HOW AM I GOING TO FEND FOR MYSELF IF I CAN'T SAVE UP FOR MONEY!!??

She says she'll support whatever I want to do with my life. Yet she's literally withholding me from doing so!!

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:07 PM

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willow bluff i'd like to help :3

Sorry about that

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:07 PM

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dw its fine

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:07 PM

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There's not really a way to help anyways. Not that I know of, anyway 😓

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:09 PM

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keen geode Oh! And another thing! My mom is absolutely RUINING MY LIFE!! I'm not allowed ...

Not to mention she literally controls everything I say or do. How I dress, what I eat, how I act, my life, literally everything.

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:09 PM

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i could be your friend

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i like to talk, yk

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:10 PM

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I wasn't allowed to become vegetarian because I was "being dramatic" and if I'd eat something not meat she'll get mad at me, and if I did eat meat so she'd quit harassing me, she'd start mocking me of why I was eating meat. It's so frustrating

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:11 PM

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willow bluff i could be your friend

I'm sorry, but I'm not friending people at the moment :(

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My apologies

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:11 PM

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its okay

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no need to apologise

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:11 PM

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I still feel bad😭

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:12 PM

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its okay

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i couldnt read everything btw my left eye turning to wrong side so its hard rn

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:14 PM

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Oh, no it's okay! You don't have to read it by the way

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I was just mainly wanting to get this stuff out of my mind

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:15 PM

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feels good doesnt it

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to let it all out

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:15 PM

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Not really

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:15 PM

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oh

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:15 PM

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Venting has never helped me

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:15 PM

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hmmm

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gonna read it when my eye is better

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:16 PM

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You really don't have to. I hope you feel better though <3

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:16 PM

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i want to tho hehe

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i like to read >w<

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:17 PM

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I suppose I can't stop you. Just be easy on yourself

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:18 PM

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should i talk abt my deseases?

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or are you not confortable with it

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:21 PM

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You can, I don't mind

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:21 PM

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so

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i have a thing on my lefyt eye that makes it sometimes just move arround on its own

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idk what its called

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:21 PM

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That sounds painful

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:21 PM

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yeah and i get very dizzy

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i have ADHD

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:22 PM

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Same here

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:22 PM

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oooh

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i have uhhh

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what was it?

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HSP right

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:23 PM

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What's hsp?

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:23 PM

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Highly sensetive person

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:24 PM

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Ohhh

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:24 PM

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basically any feelings i have either emotional of physical i feel like from 2x to 10x more than regular people

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:24 PM

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Oh wow

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How difficult does it make things for you?

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:25 PM

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well when somone like

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tells me i'm worthless

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i imidiatly wanna end myself

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:25 PM

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Oh, that's no good :(

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:25 PM

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yeah

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:26 PM

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I'll beat up anyone who says that to you

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:26 PM

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when somone told me that tday

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he didnt mean it but

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i still feel it

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:27 PM

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I hate it when people joke like that. You never truly know how someone feels :(

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Are you feeling okay now?

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:27 PM

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not rly

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helping people makes me relax a bit

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:28 PM

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Ah, sometimes you need to help yourself once in a while. Sending virtual hugs 🫂

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:28 PM

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i broke up with somone recently too

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lied to me abt their age

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:29 PM

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Oh jeez. Something similar happened with my cousin

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:29 PM

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That sucks. I'm sorry.

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:29 PM

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To Yuki or me? There's two different vents going on

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:30 PM

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yeah i was with that person for 5 months until he told me he was UNDER AGE

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:30 PM

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Oh gosh-

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:30 PM

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keen geode To Yuki or me? There's two different vents going on

Both 😅

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:30 PM

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vital ice Both 😅

Ohh, it's okay!

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:31 PM

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I can imagine how annoyed I would be. I get annoyed if people try to control how I dress. Let alone control everything else

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:32 PM

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vital ice I can imagine how annoyed I would be. I get annoyed if people try to control how...

my dad did that to me but now he ded so i can dress like a pricess hehe

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:32 PM

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Well that seems dark

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:32 PM

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a bit

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i didnt wanted him dead

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he drank too much and then oof

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:33 PM

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vital ice I can imagine how annoyed I would be. I get annoyed if people try to control how...

Exactly. I hate that she thinks she can control every fiber of my being. And I'm not even able to say anything about it because I'm a minor and she has as much control over me as she wants. I hate being a teenager sometimes, but I also don't want to be an adult

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:33 PM

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willow bluff he drank too much and then oof

Oh dear

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:33 PM

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I don't like being completely confirmative to my gender. But do not have the freedom to be feminine rn 😔

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:33 PM

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keen geode Exactly. I hate that she thinks she can control every fiber of my being. And I'm...

Right there with ya

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:34 PM

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keen geode Oh dear

oh right i also have schizofrenia

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:34 PM

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willow bluff oh right i also have schizofrenia

Details details details. It's all in the details

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:34 PM

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Sending virtual hugs to everyone here because I know that everyone's dealing with something. Whether it be a small burden, or something severe

🫂🫂

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:35 PM

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willow bluff oh right i also have schizofrenia

I've heard that it's a nightmare to have. I'm sorry about that

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:35 PM

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keen geode Sending virtual hugs to everyone here because I know that everyone's dealing wit...

Thxxx

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:35 PM

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keen geode Sending virtual hugs to everyone here because I know that everyone's dealing wit...

thankiess

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:35 PM

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willow bluff oh right i also have schizofrenia

I don't know anything about it, so can't really respond accurately

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:35 PM

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vital ice I don't know anything about it, so can't really respond accurately

its like

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you see stuff that aint real

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and hear voices all the time

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:36 PM

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https://tenor.com/view/hug-love-hi-bye-cat-gif-15999080

Tenor

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:36 PM

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Hallucinations?

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:36 PM

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vital ice Hallucinations?

well hallucinations are kind of different

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:36 PM

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Are the voices comprehensible

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:37 PM

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what i mostly see is like

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idk some figures some red others black

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:37 PM

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Do they make you feel bad? Like, do they provoke an emotional reaction?

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:38 PM

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oh i get suicidal thouts bc of it they tell me to end myself and such

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:38 PM

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vital ice Do they make you feel bad? Like, do they provoke an emotional reaction?

i get scared and fear it

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:38 PM

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That makes sense.

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Are there specific moments where it happens? And can you prevent it? It would seem very bad when for example in class no?

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:40 PM

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they hapend almost all the time

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but randomly change subject and such

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like i can be in class and i can hear (poooo) out of nowhere

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:40 PM

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Just curious, don't mean to interrogate. Hope I'm not being to intrusive.

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:40 PM

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its fine

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:41 PM

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willow bluff like i can be in class and i can hear (poooo) out of nowhere

I get that that is meant to be somewhat funny. But that would so drive me crazy

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:41 PM

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it drives me crazy all the time

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im just used to it

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:41 PM

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Crazy, I was crazy onc... No. I feel ya. Sucks man.

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:42 PM

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willow bluff im just used to it

Yeah. But still

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:42 PM

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and there are moments that..

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its not like

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just saying stuff and making me feel different from saying that stuff

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it also controls how i feel

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in a literal way

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:43 PM

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That sucks man.

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:43 PM

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yeah

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my last psychologist even said its not worth living with these deseases

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:44 PM

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Sorry. Uhh. I really gotta sleep. It's almost 2:30 over here.

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:44 PM

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go ahead

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dw

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:44 PM

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willow bluff my last psychologist even said its not worth living with these deseases

Goddamn. They should not be allowed to say that

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:44 PM

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oh he lost his job bc of that

vital ice Jul 12, 2025, 11:45 PM

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Yeah. He should've

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:45 PM

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willow bluff my last psychologist even said its not worth living with these deseases

Woah, wait what!?!?

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:45 PM

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yeah he tried to help me for like 5 years now

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and suddently says that

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:45 PM

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That's so messed up

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:46 PM

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and i had to cross a bridge on the way home after

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:46 PM

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My gosh...

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:46 PM

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istg its so hard to control myself when that hapends

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i have a photografic memory too

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:47 PM

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I'm glad he lost his job for that. It was nowhere near professional and it's dangerous. What was he thinking?

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:47 PM

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willow bluff i have a photografic memory too

Photographic memory is interesting

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:48 PM

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i can remember everything i went through

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like it was happening rn

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:48 PM

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Oh

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That's not good :(

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:48 PM

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yeah

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i was in my grandma's funeral today

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my dad died october 20

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:49 PM

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I'm sorry for your loss

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:49 PM

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yeah..

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:50 PM

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I'm sorry about all of the things you went through. Just remember, you are strong. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:50 PM

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i need a small break cuz am crying rn..

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:50 PM

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Take some time for yourself. I hope you feel better <3

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:51 PM

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ty..

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:51 PM

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No problem. I hope you have a good day, evening, afternoon, or night wherever you are ^^

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:51 PM

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im in portugal hehe..

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its night..

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:52 PM

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Have a good night then. Be sure to get some rest and drink some water

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:53 PM

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well.. am not crying anymore

keen geode Jul 12, 2025, 11:58 PM

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Are you feeling any better?

willow bluff Jul 12, 2025, 11:59 PM

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ye a bit

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:00 AM

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That's good ^^

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:00 AM

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:3

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:00 AM

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:3

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:01 AM

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i've been wondering like

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my sexuality lately

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:01 AM

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In what way?

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:01 AM

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my attraction, yk

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cuz all i like in relationships are the kisses and the bond and spending time together

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:02 AM

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Yeah, I meant like what way, like zero attraction or if you do feel attraction, y'know? My apologies, my wording isn't the best at times😓

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:02 AM

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willow bluff cuz all i like in relationships are the kisses and the bond and spending time to...

Ohh

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:02 AM

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like doesnt matter if its man or woman or trans

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or non binary

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:02 AM

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So you prefer more platonic bonds?

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:03 AM

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idk if its that what its called

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but i don't rly like the sexual part

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like for me there is no need for it

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:03 AM

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You could be on the asexual spectrum?

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:03 AM

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i don't know..

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its hard to know with schizofrenia

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:05 AM

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You could maybe ask in the help desc? There are most likely people that would know more than me. If you're wanting to find labels, of course ^^

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:05 AM

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idk im having trouble trusting people bc of my last relationship

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:06 AM

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Ohh

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My apologies

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:06 AM

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its fine really no need to apologise

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:06 AM

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I'm sorry😭

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:06 AM

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its okayy TWT

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:07 AM

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https://tenor.com/view/kitty-dance-kitty-cat-silly-cat-car-gif-10416976224862277025

Tenor

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:07 AM

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KITTY

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:3

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https://tenor.com/view/dancing-cat-dancing-kitten-60fps-boogie-cat-gif-16281567468037639598

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:08 AM

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Kitty :3

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:08 AM

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i was literally engaged

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and then i find out its a minor..

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:09 AM

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Wait what??

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:09 AM

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he proposed to me okay?

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:09 AM

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That's actually insane. And he hid his age the entire time!??

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:09 AM

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YEAH

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ITS SO STUPID

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now the thout that i was with a minor the whole time ewwwww...

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:10 AM

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That's so weird 😭😭

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:10 AM

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ikr..

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:10 AM

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I'm sorry that happened :(

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:10 AM

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yeah...

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oooh very interesting pronouns :3

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:11 AM

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https://tenor.com/view/bunny-rabbit-jumpscare-boop-yassinora-gif-10416955202653838545

Tenor

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:11 AM

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willow bluff oooh very interesting pronouns :3

Mine?

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:11 AM

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w< bunny~

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:11 AM

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keen geode Mine?

yeah

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:11 AM

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Oh, thank you ^^

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I've been thinking about trying xenopronouns too, but I can't seem to find any that fit, lol

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:12 AM

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Happy

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:12 AM

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blehhhhhh

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Brb, I have to let my doggos outdut

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:12 AM

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CarWat

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:12 AM

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keen geode Brb, I have to let my doggos outdut

Outside*

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:12 AM

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YOU HAVE DOGS TOO???

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:13 AM

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YEAH

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:13 AM

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w<

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:13 AM

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And a cat :D

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:13 AM

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i have

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2 dawgs

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:13 AM

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Brb, she has to go really bad😭

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:13 AM

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oky TwT

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:13 AM

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willow bluff 2 dawgs

and 4 cats TwT

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:20 AM

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Cats and dogs are so cool

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:24 AM

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yesh

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cats are so silly

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:27 AM

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Indeed indeed. They're such goofy goobers

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:29 AM

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:3

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and the paws MHHH THEY ARE SO CUTEEE

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:32 AM

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THEY AREE!!

Also sorry that I'm not responding quickly. I'm looking on Pinterest for Xenogenders and my notifications are turned off😓

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:34 AM

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and im playing a game rn thats why im not responding quick too TwT

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:35 AM

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So real

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:36 AM

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ye

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 12:46 AM

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AUGH!! Why is it so hard for me to find something that my identity fits? Why does gender have to be so complicated 😭😭

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I just realised I can literally make my own

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:53 AM

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TwT

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:56 AM

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keen geode I just realised I can literally make my own

ikr TwT

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 1:05 AM

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Even doing that is difficult. I don't even know where to start, or if there are rules to making them, besides the obvious things :(

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 1:08 AM

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hmm

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i rly wanna be ur friend tbh

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everyone i meet either wants to talk about sexual stuff or just make fun of me

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but anyway will sleep now

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2:18 am rn

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nighty
talk more tomorrow!!!

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 1:23 AM

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I'm so sorry that I didn't see your message 😭

Talk to you tomorrow!!

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 1:23 AM

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:3

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 1:23 AM

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:3

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 12:04 PM

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Am available now

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 5:19 PM

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haiii

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:o

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nice pfp ;3

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 5:46 PM

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@keen geode

keen geode Jul 13, 2025, 6:36 PM

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HAU

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HAI

vital ice Jul 13, 2025, 8:19 PM

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Hii

willow bluff Jul 13, 2025, 9:59 PM

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oh haiiiii

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sorry for not awnsering

keen geode Jul 14, 2025, 12:35 AM

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vital ice Hii

Heyo

keen geode Jul 14, 2025, 12:36 AM

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willow bluff sorry for not awnsering

My apologies as well, I got distracted

willow bluff Jul 14, 2025, 12:36 AM

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Am trying to sleep rn lol

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It's 1:36 am

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And I have to wake up at 6:45

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TwT

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So nightyy

keen geode Jul 14, 2025, 12:44 AM

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Ohh

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Gnight!! ^^

willow bluff Jul 14, 2025, 12:44 AM

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Yeee

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w<

keen geode Jul 14, 2025, 12:46 AM

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:3

willow bluff Jul 14, 2025, 10:07 AM

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Haiiii

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(i didnt go to work)

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TwT

keen geode Jul 14, 2025, 4:30 PM

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https://tenor.com/view/cat-cute-happy-jumping-gif-26555219

Tenor

#I'm not really sure how to use this. But summary: Insecurities, anxiety, and feelings alone.