stoic sage
I dunno. I get everything I want. I have good friends. I have a good family. But I just kinda have noticed myself slowly becoming more and more distant and kind of living life numbly. I don’t really feel. It’s been ages since I genuinely smiled. I don’t want to exist rn. I don’t wanna die but I really really do not want to live. I feel like at this point im just hiding from basically everyone and thing. I’m always known as unserious or happy and I’m the youngest kid and in my family that means I was ‘to young’ to remember the bs that happened when I was a small child but I remember it all. I really love my parents and they are so good now but I’m scared that I’m slipping into being like how they used to be. I’m just scared. And I’m just exhausted. Not even tired or sleepy, like genuinely exhausted. My body is always aching, my headaches are getting worse, my eyes look dead. I just kinda look and feel like a walking corpse. I’m not really living anymore. I’m just existing for the benefit of others. Also theres the whole sexuality and pronouns thing… thats horrible ngl. Kinda just wanna bash my head into a wall cutely 🎀. I just kinda wanna check out of reality for the semipermanent future.
golden marten