Ongoing deadname crisis since April 2022 | Pridecord | Page 1

indigo narwhal Jul 9, 2025, 5:21 AM

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So I suffer a deadname crisis that's been ongoing since April 4, 2022, and Im deadnamed every day, and then I get super dysphoric with symptoms of these

spamming "my name isnt shawn, kolby, takashi or ethan."
can someone say <x y>
my name is {deadname]

along with my body restricting itself from doing things because of deadnaming, tho the restricting/restraining has been a thing since late december 2024. I've tried to ask my parents and siblings countless to not refer to me by a deadname and they're like "thats not your name, your name is {deadname}." I tried to ask them to call me by middle but I have my grandpa's middle name so they don't want to, even a shortening is taken by my fluffy morkie, virtually leaving them to just continuing to refer to me by a deadname.

They did call me by middle for a while but it didn't last long and now it just doesn't happen anymore. Many others are annoyed by my deadname crisis and tired of it (Im tired of it too) and it really just sucks the only way I can seek "validation" is from random ppl on the internet and some irl friends. It shouldn't be this hard to be referred by a preferred name but here we are. Side notes, my parents will still deadname me even if I legally change names.

Additionally, My state (Florida) has laws that restrict teachers from using preferred name without their consent. In short... Parents dont approve? Sucks to be you. Most of the teachers in my school don't follow this law, but teachers can infact get sued and lose their job over respecting students' preferred name.

One good example was my history teacher in 10th grade. I said "theyre fine with middle name addressing" and the next thing that teacher wanted is FUCKING DOCUMENTATION ON FUCKING PAPER. IT SHOULDNT BE THIS FUCKING HAAARDD... I don't hate the teacher but I hate how complex this shitty state made it.

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Ongoing deadname crisis since April 2022

rugged heath Jul 9, 2025, 6:13 AM

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have you tried getting you fam to only refer to you by an initial to get them used to it?

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I've been doing that for over a year now

indigo narwhal Jul 9, 2025, 6:38 AM

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rugged heath have you tried getting you fam to only refer to you by an initial to get them us...

I doubt they'll do that. They would call it stupid, they may do it for a bit and then just refuse to after a bit.

rugged heath Jul 9, 2025, 6:39 AM

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I could be worth a shot. when I started going by R it wasn't easy for my parents at first they said[australian accents make it a bit difficult]

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but it got better with time [even if pronouns or the occasional deadname still slips form time to time]

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BTW am I allowed to ask what your chosen name is?

rugged heath Jul 9, 2025, 6:46 AM

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indigo narwhal I doubt they'll do that. They would call it stupid, they may do it for a bit and...

if they call it stupid then they refer to themselves

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not you

indigo narwhal Jul 9, 2025, 6:47 AM

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rugged heath if they call it stupid then they refer to themselves

yeah basically its impossible to make them budge even a centimeter. that is as long as its impossible to reach absolute zero

rugged heath Jul 9, 2025, 6:49 AM

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indigo narwhal yeah basically its impossible to make them budge even a centimeter. that is as l...

then don't be afraid to let them know that what they're doing will never be ok

vapid path Jul 9, 2025, 8:04 AM

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You could try just not reacting to your deadname anymore. Say em clearly hey, ill only listen to my chosen name and not react if they use your deadname

silver jewel Jul 9, 2025, 2:19 PM

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I’m always here to say your name as many times as you need :>

indigo narwhal Jul 9, 2025, 8:02 PM

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silver jewel I’m always here to say your name as many times as you need :>

HOLY SHIT HES BACK

indigo narwhal Jul 9, 2025, 8:20 PM

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vapid path You could try just not reacting to your deadname anymore. Say em clearly hey, il...

ill get fuckin everything taken away if I do that.. along with getting grounded for probably a long ass time like over a month
-# (and shot with anti aircraft missiles) /j

silver jewel Jul 9, 2025, 11:45 PM

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indigo narwhal HOLY SHIT HES BACK

I’m still in Japan but only for a bit longer

indigo narwhal Jul 10, 2025, 12:48 AM

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silver jewel I’m still in Japan but only for a bit longer

Ye ik, just didnt expect you to come back here

indigo narwhal Jul 11, 2025, 5:20 AM

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rugged heath then don't be afraid to let them know that what they're doing will never be ok

Is there even anyone to help validate me by simply saying a name.

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I dont think there is

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It happens every single day.

indigo narwhal Jul 11, 2025, 6:47 AM

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Nobody is there to help. There's nobody there.. My name is just dictated by others, therefore its just some deadname. I can't get the name I want. I never will. I can only dream about it, but it won't come true. None of dreams will come true. I will only continue to get negative views.

rugged heath Jul 11, 2025, 7:05 AM

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what do you want to be called?

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I'm guessing your name isn't Shawn

indigo narwhal Jul 11, 2025, 7:08 AM

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either shawn, kolby, takashi or ethan

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or "Kim Kyung-min"

indigo narwhal Jul 11, 2025, 7:12 AM

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rugged heath I'm guessing your name isn't Shawn

all of the mass deadnaming has led to self-disassociation with who i truly am

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sometimes i get d'named 100+ times

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which has led to desperation as if I was a Squid game player in debt of W1,000,000,000+

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yes I used Markdown to make the Korean Won currency symbol

sacred edge Jul 11, 2025, 7:50 AM

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What name do you prefer? I never really understood because my first language is not English

indigo narwhal Jul 11, 2025, 8:14 AM

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sacred edge What name do you prefer? I never really understood because my first language is ...

I dont mind either but ig either shawn or takashi xd

rugged heath Jul 11, 2025, 8:43 AM

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got it takashi

indigo narwhal Jul 11, 2025, 8:47 AM

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rugged heath got it takashi

say it again ig

rugged heath Jul 11, 2025, 8:50 AM

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takashi

indigo narwhal Jul 11, 2025, 8:51 AM

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rugged heath takashi

thanks

sacred edge Jul 11, 2025, 5:46 PM

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Takashi :3

indigo narwhal Jul 15, 2025, 3:14 PM

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It’s starting to be a daily thing where my younger sibling deadnames me everytime I wake up

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multiple times too and then it’s hard to get someone to say shawn

indigo narwhal Jul 15, 2025, 10:22 PM

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Summarization of a conversation in "better general".

Starts at #💬｜the-greatest-general-to-ever-exist message

Ends at #💬｜the-greatest-general-to-ever-exist message

From the mass deadnaming, name dysphoria... along with the hate for me being lgbt (such as a teacher probably ruining my whole school life)... Should I just give up on my true self?...

two people saying "no don't"

Later brought up something already brought up in the original post

Yeah I had a teacher who had the grand idea to tell my parents I wanted to be a femboy and then they told them the things I do at school that my parents dont approve of

Someone mentioned

any euphoria you could receive from being your true self outweighs the suffering others try imposing on you
I mean if anything you could always stay true to yourself internally while shutting out the external world

I later mention how being/having LGBTQIA+ in Florida is like having South Korean Media in North Korea (cus it fucking is)
I bring up name dysphoria (also mentioned in the original post), describing it as gender dysphora but instead of gender it's name.

Other details I brought up was how Florida technically legalized murder by making it legal to run over protestors.

gray pathBOT Jul 15, 2025, 10:22 PM

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From the mass deadnaming, name dysphoria... along with the hate for me being lgbt (such as a teacher probably ruining my whole school life)... Should I just give up on my true self?...

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For people who don't know what name dysphoria is... think of it as gender dysphora but instead of gender it's name.

silver jewel Jul 16, 2025, 4:00 AM

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gray path From the mass deadnaming, name dysphoria... along with the hate for me being lgb...

Why’d you use an app here?

indigo narwhal Jul 16, 2025, 6:34 AM

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silver jewel Why’d you use an app here?

it does that

indigo narwhal Jul 16, 2025, 6:46 PM

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Tbh Im debating whether I should give up on my true self. It's been 3 years and this is still a problem so I might aswell just give up on who I truly am. I barely even feel like my name is what I decide it is, and same goes with generally who I am.

I seriously doubt that Im going to be whoever I want to be anyway. Im just gonna be stuck in my parents' house where Im deadnaming multiple times daily and made fun of for who I am. Whether it's them shitting on me or simply just people telling homophobic people about it to harass me and ruin my social life.

Im not a human. Im legally owned property owned by parents.

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Atleast this is just what it feels like to me...

rugged heath Jul 17, 2025, 3:12 AM

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gray path From the mass deadnaming, name dysphoria... along with the hate for me being lgb...

whatever happens Takashi,don't give up just because of your family

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they might have forgotten THEIR true selves and became transphobes that way

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I'd hate for you to suffer the same fate

indigo narwhal Jul 17, 2025, 7:48 PM

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Rule of the world: If someone is talking to me, it must start or end with a deadname.

indigo narwhal Jul 18, 2025, 7:55 AM

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Update
-# (if there’s still anyone who reads this)

had a whole episode of desperation of trying to ask someone to simply say a name and it took around 40 minutes (which it shouldn’t have)

It happens when I lack the support I need

indigo narwhal Jul 18, 2025, 11:16 PM

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@silver jewel ARE YOU EVEN THERE???? I msged you like 500 times and you said nothing.

rugged heath Jul 20, 2025, 10:12 AM

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indigo narwhal Update -# (if there’s still anyone who reads this) had a whole episode of desp...

and you succeeded, right?

indigo narwhal Jul 21, 2025, 2:41 AM

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rugged heath and you succeeded, right?

yeah but it really shouldn't have taken a whole goddamn 40 minutes

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Everyone just thinks Im an asshole when I barely even did anything. My mom calls me one, which basically means I am one. I've devolved to become desperate for validation.. everyones tired / annoyed of me whether from a d'name crisis or generally just simply asking if they want to play a game. Everyone also just ignores me. Im nothing but a validation & attention seeker except not for clout just for nothing. Attention & Validation seekers and assholes don't deserve respect. People like me don't even really have friends.

Im just a loner because of how much of a s--t person I am. I've devolved from a happy random dumbahh wacky chill guy to just a Attention & Validation seeker. Not even my own BF really says anything to me. Im always the one to initiate conversations with literally anyone.. It's like nobody wants to talk to me unless if I say smth first.

Even me.. I just suffer low self-esteem and self-worth too. It's not like I actively contribute anything to the world. People will do everything to take me down and ruin my life and they all suceed. When i try to retaliate, Im just unable to do anything. Think of it like being a new player in a game, while all of the level 999s attack you and one hit kill you, while you deal zero damage.

-# A true attention seeker wouldn't say they're an attention seeker would they?..

indigo narwhal Jul 31, 2025, 12:09 AM

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@silver jewel I dont think you're getting notified in dm so gonna ping you here
-# others ignore; we were having an issue where their notifs are probly bugged

#Ongoing deadname crisis since April 2022