#tw memory loss, disorentation, dissociation

31 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

primal spear
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my memory is getting worse and i dissociate much more, i forget things that happened minutes ago, i have no memory of taking a shower but my hair is wet and i know i did, i just... don't remember taking it. i remember drying off and dressing up, but not showering...

im dizzy now too, and my fine motor skills are shit today.

manic comet
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You should see a doctor about that, buddy.

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Not much else can say to that, gl

primal spear
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i tired verbal therapy and that sucked. i have hypotonia and hypermobility issues and autism (possibly DID?) idrk yet. not much to talk to a doctor about. they always say "excise will solve everything" and discharge me

manic comet
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Oh… do you think that one of those things caused your memory loss?

primal spear
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i know DID causes memory loss and dissociation which is partially why i think i have it

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also could be caused by my maladaptive daydreaming tbh

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a lot is wrong with me

manic comet
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Maybe that, I do that sometimes. Also nothing is wrong either you! We all think differently.

primal spear
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thank you! im going to sleep now because i dissociated and suddenly it's 2:19 am

manic comet
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Gn

spare storm
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Heyy
If you want I can help you figure out how likely it is that you have DID. The amnesia part definitely sounds scary ngl. It could be DID, neurological illnesses or even just dissociative amnesia, because dissociative amnesia can occur even without being a system aka having DID

primal spear
spare storm
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Sure!
I'm travelling at the moment. Will respond later today ^^

primal spear
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Alright!

spare storm
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Alright!
So, there are two main criteria for DID:

  1. the presence of two or more identity states, often referred to as alters. They differ in age, mood, mindset, values, opinions etc. It's not just you as a different version. An alter will behave completely different.
  2. dissociative amnesia/barriers between those identity states.

Furthermore:
3) symptoms are consistent in daily life, meaning not just when stressed or occasionally, but nearly always.
4) symptoms have started already in childhood.
5) severe childhood trauma. This one is tricky, as DID covers up memories.

There are a lot more symptoms possible, but they are not criteria that have to be met.

Does this resonate with you?

primal spear
spare storm
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Oki doki
To the first part: how do they talk to you? Have others reported you having different opinions? When do such blackouts occur and how often?
For example: has it ever happened to you that you found yourself doing something you theoretically hate? Or stuff like skill regression?
Alters often made different experiences in the body and therefore skills can vary between them. That can occur, but doesn't necessarily have to. But there will be significant differences.

To the fourth: do you remember how life was before 8? Why do you think symptoms started then?

And lastly: don't stress yourself out too much about the trauma part. There's a reason for why you don't remember and forcing it can actually make it worse.

primal spear
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but the hearing part is also y daydreaming

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im never myself when i daydream- i become one of my OCS

spare storm
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When you hear them, do you hear them from within, as intrusive thoughts or like someone is whispering into your ear? Do they have different opinions from you?

About the math thing: do you remember doing math despite not liking it? Have people told you that you behave differently sometimes?

Not noticing transition situations specifically is not unusual from my knowledge and experience.

One more thing: how does hearing them differ from imagine talking to them?

spare storm
# primal spear im never myself when i daydream- i become one of my OCS

I mean. Maladaptive daydreaming would be possible, since it's in its core also a dissociative disorder.

But I also know of systems who have done this before figuring out they're systems (System = person with DID). Maladaptive daydreaming and DID can both be present but don't have to.

primal spear
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  1. i talk to myself as them thats what i mean and yes they do have different opinions
  2. i remember sometimes just liking math even tho it makes me miserable mostly
  3. not really i dont think
  4. when i imagine them i can control what they say but not when i hear them. does that make sense?
primal spear
spare storm
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I honestly can't 100% tell you if you have DID or not. However it does sound like strong dissociation and also maladaptive daydreaming. I'd recommend going to a therapist.
There was also this one free online test one could take. It's not a 100% tool and is not only for DID, but it shows a lot about dissociation in general. I will see if I can remember the name of it.

primal spear
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yeah the thing i struggle withverbal therapy and it made so miserable i had to stop.
i <3 occupational therapy

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i used to go to it as a kid and it great

spare storm
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Well. Otherwise it's going to be hard to get help in all honesty

primal spear
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yeah you already helped so much tysm