#Help... please

7 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

ionic dune
#

I kinda wanna stop being bi. Not because I hate this community, I actually love it but if I'm bi I can't ever have a girlfriend bc my family can't know I'm bi (only my sister knows, my parents are homophobic). I'm also scared bc I know that ppl say I can't just become straight, that I was born with that but the thing is that I only had thoughts about girls for 2 years. So that means it wasn't always here, which should mean I can change, right? I just wanna have easier life, without fear of somebody finding out that I'm bi. I talked to my sis when I came out to her and she told me that she respects me but that it is much easier to live as a straight person. Please could somebody help me? I don't know what to do anymore, I'm lost and I'm scared. Does anybody know what to do?

scenic sentinel
#

I understand it is hard but i would argue that it is your life you should live, not your families life. So if you want a girlfriend you should get one and not care what your family thinks, And they should love you for who you are not who you decide to be with. I am sorry but if your family does not love you if you live you own life then their love is properly not worth scarifying your own happiness over. Now i understand if you are financially or in other ways depedent on your familiy to wait with telling them until you can stand on your own legs, but in my opnion i think you will be happier being true to yourself and not trying to live the way your familiy wants you to live.

maiden mesa
ionic dune
#

I'll try. Thanks. Hopefully everything will come to place

maiden mesa
#

But in short:

  • It is unlikely for your attraction to girls to go away. Think of this like puberty. Your bodily changes were not there in childhood, but now they are here and they won't go away, right? There are some women who fancy other women but identify themselves as straight or "mostly straight", you might be one of them, too. But usually sexual orientation does not change genders, it only develops as you acquire a taste for the lack of a better word.

  • I understand that things become extremely harder when you are non-straight, sadly this is the way of the world. But not all hope is lost! It is possible for you to like and settle down with a boy regardless. And even if not, there are plenty of people who like their own gender and lead lives that are just fine, sometimes even better than the average straight life. And yes, many of such people also come from households that are homophobic, the average parent does not "like" the idea of LGBTQ+.

  • Feeling lost, scared, in despair, not knowing what to do are perfectly valid. No one can expect you to navigate these challenges at your ripe old age of 14. I barely begun to understood that I liked boys at 14. That idea terrified me, too. Give yourself time. You mentioned that your sister knows, if you think she has a solid head on her shoulders, share your concerns. Even if not, it seems like she does not take your orientation badly, so she will always be there to support and love you. Such is the way of family. My only piece of advice is this: Do not believe people who promise that you can be "changed" or "cured". Such procedures are not approved by the WHO and for good reason. There is no evidence "conversion therapy" works, and it is usually damaging to people because it targets our self-perception. Your mental health is a valuable currency in this day and age, especially as a queer girl. Keep it safe.

Much love, and I believe in you. ❤️

ionic dune
#

Thank you, truly. I keep asking myself what's wrong with me not because I'm bi but because my parents are homophobic. I usually try to not be in the way when they say smt hurtful (usually only my dad). I just hope that one day I'll have a great life regardless of who I'm gonna be with. Thank you for your help and support. Thank you for being here. I truly appreciate it. I will probably deal with this but right now what I need is to relax and clear my head. I'm only 14 and I have a whole life in front of me. Hopefully I will understand it at the end. Thank you again