Question: How should I figure out if I may be trans?

[muted warren]

So, a couple months ago, I came to the conclusion that I am an enby, but now I’m having conflicting feelings about it, getting the feeling I may not be an enby, but trans. I don’t know if I’m asking myself the right questions about it to figure it out. Can someone help me please? 😔

Btw, I know my parents would be very supportive if I came out to them, because they were when I came out as non-binary

[smoky jolt]

Try talking to other trans members personally through dms to have a better understanding about your identity (you can find them either in #💬｜general #💬｜the-greatest-general-to-ever-exist #🤙｜introductions )

[muted warren]

Okay, thanks!

[smoky jolt]

Np

[upbeat niche]

I personally find it helpful to pretend one specific answer is certain and see how I feel about it. You might say to yourself that you're certainly an enby and definitely not trans and see how that feels. Then do the opposite and compare. Do the both feel the same to you? Or do you not actually care? Then you have an answer as well: It doesn't matter to you - which is perfectly fine :)

I found myself wishing I were a guy - maybe you can relate with the gender identity you think you might have. That could also be a good indicator

[muted warren]

by that, do you mean relating to transfems or girls in general?

and when i imagine “yeah, i’m an enby and certainly not trans”, it feels off in a way, but if i say i’m certainly trans, something about it feels right

[upbeat niche]

I meant something similar, but your version certainly works too!

When I was in denial about being a guy, I still sometimes found myself wishing I were. If you relate to that, that could be a good indicator

[muted warren]

yeah, lately, and even when i was younger, i would wonder what it would be like if i was a girl

[upbeat niche]

For me, feelings like that were what made me finally 'decide' I was trans. Those feelings could mean the same to you, or they could mean something different. Ultimately, you will have to decide what your feelings mean to you. I wish I could help with that, but I'm afraid the final decision rests with you alone

If it helps, I can tell you more about my experience and my feelings though!

[muted warren]

i appreciate your help 🙏

[upbeat niche]

Did you wonder what it'd be like in a curious way or did you wish you were one as well?

[muted warren]

idk if i’ll think on it much longer

[muted warren]

kinda both

when i was younger it was more on the curious side and nowadays it’s more of both

[upbeat niche]

(You don't have to answer any of my questions if you don't want to)

[muted warren]

oh no, i don’t mind

[upbeat niche]

I mean, you could always just try it out for a bit

What would change in your life if you were trans? You could try those things and see how you like them

[muted warren]

alright

i think if i turn out to be trans then it would mainly be how i present myself to others that would change

[upbeat niche]

Would you feel comfortable trying out a new way of presenting to others?

[muted warren]

the main thing stopping me from presenting myself more feminine would be how peers at school would react because there’s a very mixed bag of beliefs at my school

[muted warren]

idk really

[upbeat niche]

Very fair and valid! Absolutely stay safe

[muted warren]

yeah i hope to🙏

[upbeat niche]

I know some transfemme people felt very good about trying out new ways of presenting at home. Do you think that'd be safe and also work for you?

[muted warren]

my parents would definitely be supportive since they were when i came out as enby

i think i would be comfortable doing it at home

[upbeat niche]

That's great! I love that for you /gen

[muted warren]

thx ✨

[upbeat niche]

I tried out my first binder hiding in my room and taking it off a minute later and it was still really helpful for me lol

[muted warren]

what’s a binder?

i’ve seen that term in a lot of places and never learned what it is

[upbeat niche]

If money is an issue, second hand stores might have affordable clothes to try out, and if it turns out you don't like them, you can just give them back

[muted warren]

i will look into it thx

i don’t think it’s much of an issue tho

but that’s more up to my parents

[upbeat niche]

A garment that sits tightly around your chest and reduces the size of breasts. Think sports bra, but longer and way, way more compression

[muted warren]

i see

now i don’t have to wonder what it is lol

[upbeat niche]

Ah okay, that's nice

I hope you find answers that are helpful to you 💙

[muted warren]

thx a ton for the help🙏

[upbeat niche]

No worries, I'm glad it helped 💙