Why do i feel like this?

[hazy coral]

I try to help suicidal people when i can and a lot of times it really works out and they realize they should keep living but the last 2 people ive encountered both were nice people that seemingly could continue their lives, it was good talking to them and then i tried to learn why they wanted to commit and afterwards i tried to help both not to commit but at a random moment they both blocked me one of them saying "im going to die alone and miserable" now im wondering if i did something wrong and that ive caused 2 peoples deaths that couldve been avoided if i was better at convincing them and now i feel like im the one that deserves to die

[hazy coral]

I cant take a rest without thinking about ending it all when its obvious im replecable and not worth anything

[chilly torrent]

You are NOT replaceable. Think about the important people in your life and how they would feel. They care, I care.

[hazy coral]

They wouldnt care

[chilly torrent]

You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Open your eyes. Go outside, enjoy nature (or the city if you live there)

Life IS worth living

I had to find that out myself

[hazy coral]

What do i have to live for?

[chilly torrent]

Live for yourself. You shouldn’t have to live for anyone else. That is all i will say. Think about it. I wont try to influence your choices, but trust me, su1c1d3 is the wrong choice.

[hazy coral]

People say suicide doesnt end pain, just passes it on to someone else but i dont have anyone for the pain to pass on to so wont it just end my pain once and for all?

[chilly torrent]

My advice is to find something that you love doing.

Ignore everything else

Including yourself

[inland linden]

If you try to help people, then you know how BS that statement is. Stop and think about how you'd respond to someone else who's saying the things you're saying now.

We judge ourselves more harshly than we judge others. It important to step back when that happens and try to get an outside view. Your existence does not have to be justified, to anyone, yourself included. You do not owe the world a specific, perfect version of yourself. You are only beholden to yourself.

Rather than dwell on something negative (did I do something wrong? I should have done better!), take that energy and put it into bettering yourself. Consider therapy (not a negative, it's a wonderful thing to get to know yourself better!), or do what I'm doing right now. Pick up a book on the subject that's confronting you. Learn about how others see it and what they've learned.

And stop talking shit about yourself. That's our friend you're talking about! You're part of the community.

[hazy coral]

Im really thankful for your words, you really saved a life today and made me realize what i should be doing instead of hating on myself, again thank you so much for this

[inland linden]