azure ridge
im not sure how to explain this..but ever since my ex broke up with me, i havent been the same. Ive been so depressed that my antidepressants havn't been doing much. Ive been pretty suicidal and constantly engage in s/h too..Along with that, ive lost my sense of self worth. Even though its been months I've been distancing myself from even my closest friends, and i feel like ive been a bitch to them as well.... Ive especially started to distance myself from my ex, even though he still wants to hang out a lot, since hes still my best friend (i received around 200+ text messages from them in one day 🙁 btw i dont ignore him at all, i'd never) i believe the reason why is because i still love them...and i dont really wanna hurt him..Mentally or physically..since ive been more verbally violent around people and easily irritated recently (the "violence" aspect is because of my jealousy, and that ive been feeling like ive been selfish because i still want him, when i want to respect him and his new boyfriend) i just..dont know what to do anymore. Edit bc uh..idk how to wird it in that paragraph: Something else is the i realised i might be acting like i dont care about him or his feelings...but i really do, but i dont know how to express it when i have these feelings for him...
silent obsidian