fresh lagoon
’im still struggling with my ex, R, even though we broke up months ago. It’s not just missing the relationship — it’s missing the comfort and security she gave me, especially the physical closeness. Lately, I’ve been feeling so touch-deprived, and part of me just wants that back, even if it might bring up old feelings or make things harder.
R says she doesn’t have feelings for me anymore and that she thinks she messed everything up. But even with that, I still feel like there’s something unresolved between us. It’s complicated. I don’t know if I should reach out or just try to move on. I’m scared that if I do, it might hurt the friendship we have left, and that scares me.
I want emotional support, but I also don’t want to lean on her too much because she’s not my therapist and that wouldn’t be healthy. What I really miss are the hugs and physical comfort she used to give — those moments made me feel like things would be okay, even when everything felt messy.
I care about her, but I don’t know if I want to go back to how things were before. I crave closeness but don’t know how to balance it with what’s broken. It’s confusing and I feel lost. Talking about it makes me feel vulnerable, but I need to figure this out.
devout seal