I feel broken | Pridecord | Page 1

tribal carbon Jun 28, 2025, 10:48 PM

#

I feel torn apart.. like I'm drowning in a sea of sorrow. I always feel like a burden to my family. I feel like k!lling myself. I have too many personas and they're tearing me apart. I have been staying up until like 2 am recently. I don't know what to do. I want to live but I also want to die. Thank you to the people who have talked to me on my other posts. You guys are part of the reasons I still live. But still my brain doesn't want me to die, but I do, that's the confusing part. And I haven't come out and I don't know how. And I try to help people but I can't help myself. I can't stop these thoughts. I feel like the mask of happiness I wear is cracking and my real face is showing. I feel like I'm breaking apart day by day. I don't know why I keep thinking about su!c!d3.. It hurts to even think about my loved ones after I die.. and my friends too... I know they'd be devastated (at least those who care) but I am trying to glue myself back together by helping others to make me feel better. But I constanly use the weakest glue.. and I use stronger glue on others. 2 boys in my class call me a devil worshipper for being Bisexual and they're the main reason I want to end my life. I'm always on the brink of tears but I hold them in.. and it hurts. None of my teachers care other than my history teacher. He cared about everyone.. I don't know anymore... I need help...

tribal carbon Jun 28, 2025, 11:57 PM

#

And people never ask if I'm okay, I've only been asked once.

jaunty bay Jun 29, 2025, 12:32 AM

#

tribal carbon I feel torn apart.. like I'm drowning in a sea of sorrow. I always feel like a b...

Well, are you okay? If you need help, my DMs are always open.

tribal carbon Jun 29, 2025, 12:37 AM

#

I think I am, but I don’t know

jaunty bay Jun 29, 2025, 12:37 AM

#

Okay, well, keep in mind I’m always here.

vocal sierra Jun 29, 2025, 2:34 AM

#

tribal carbon I feel torn apart.. like I'm drowning in a sea of sorrow. I always feel like a b...

I feel the same way. I know what this feels like. Maybe not exactly, but I get it. I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for staying, for being who you are. I’m so sorry that this is happening. I don’t know a cure and I am struggling with it now. But trust me, it’ll get better. If you want to message me and talk about it, we can. My dms remain open! ❤️

tribal carbon Jun 29, 2025, 4:06 AM

#

@jaunty bay and @vocal sierra thanks, but I still don’t know what to do.. I just want to get to the end of the river of life…

jaunty bay Jun 29, 2025, 4:18 AM

#

Please don’t!

tribal carbon Jun 29, 2025, 4:22 AM

#

I won’t but I constantly feel the urge to..

jaunty bay Jun 29, 2025, 4:24 AM

#

So do I, it’s not worth it! Please!

tribal carbon Jun 29, 2025, 4:25 AM

#

I won’t, I promise

jaunty bay Jun 29, 2025, 4:28 AM

#

Thank you so much.

tribal carbon Jun 29, 2025, 4:31 AM

#

I just feel pain inside, it’s like I’m burning from the inside out…

jaunty bay Jun 29, 2025, 4:32 AM

#

I’m so sorry.

tribal carbon Jun 29, 2025, 4:37 AM

#

jaunty bay I’m so sorry.

It’s not your fault

jaunty bay Jun 29, 2025, 4:38 AM

#

I hope so…

tribal carbon Jun 29, 2025, 4:41 AM

#

… I’m trying to supress the thoughts as I lay in my bed.. my head hurts… I don’t know anymore…

tribal carbon Jun 29, 2025, 5:10 AM

#

I wish I had my water bottle so I could hit myself with it so I can sleep…

jaunty bay Jun 29, 2025, 2:44 PM

#

tribal carbon … I’m trying to supress the thoughts as I lay in my bed.. my head hurts… I don’t...

I’m sorry! I feel asleep!

#

I’m so sorry!

tribal carbon Jun 29, 2025, 3:17 PM

#

It’s okay

tribal carbon Jun 29, 2025, 4:07 PM

#

I feel a bit better, but I still feel broken

tribal carbon Jun 30, 2025, 1:35 AM

#

I just hit my finger.. the pain feels nice and warm

jaunty bay Jun 30, 2025, 2:02 AM

#

tribal carbon I just hit my finger.. the pain feels nice and warm

Okay. So, I recommend professional help when and if you can get it.

tribal carbon Jun 30, 2025, 2:13 AM

#

jaunty bay Okay. So, I recommend professional help when and if you can get it.

I’ve hit it accidentally multiple times. The pain isn’t that bad but it still hurts, yet it makes me feel like I’m alive, it’s a constant reminder that I’m still living. That’s why I like the pain.

jaunty bay Jun 30, 2025, 2:18 AM

#

Okay, that’s actually tame, so just do that lightly, okay?

tribal carbon Jun 30, 2025, 2:22 AM

#

jaunty bay Okay, that’s actually tame, so just do that lightly, okay?

ok

jaunty bay Jun 30, 2025, 2:23 AM

#

Yeah! Just don’t do anything more drastic!

tribal carbon Jun 30, 2025, 2:28 AM

#

okay

tribal carbon Jun 30, 2025, 3:52 AM

#

I keep thinking about what people might say if I told them I want to k!ll myself.. they’d most likely say “oh you’re fine if you haven’t gone through with it,” or “You’re just a kid, you’re too young to even get access to these thoughts,” and it’s not true, I never feel fully in my body, I feel like my soul is trying to escape, they don’t ever truly know me. Nobody does, I try not to get attatched, I have anger problems sometimes and I’ve hurt a few people when I was younger.. I’ve learned to manage them though. I lay in my bed as I type this, I didn’t eat dinner, I feel hungry I’m about to go get a snack. Sorry for typing a whole paragraph, I just needed to get this out right now.

jaunty bay Jun 30, 2025, 12:55 PM

#

tribal carbon I keep thinking about what people might say if I told them I want to k!ll myself...

It’s fine, but ask me that.

tribal carbon Jul 2, 2025, 2:59 AM

#

My dad just told me, my brother, and my mom “fuck you all” and I cried in my room. I hate this so much, he says he doesn’t ask a lot of my brother and I, but when it comes to other things he asks us too much. And then he said that he wanted to drive himself off a cliff… I hate this so fucking much.

#

and what makes it even worse is that I was in choir and dance, and he said “Well, I’m ready to go home at your choir and dance events” to me..

#I feel broken