Idk anymore… | Pridecord | Page 1

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 4:23 AM

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Ive been helping people to try to make myself feel better about just life… or at lease so I have done something good before…

I feel useless… it feels like no one actually cares about me… what purpose do I have? Im trans mtf and that’s pretty much the only thing keeping me here.. knowing who I finally am… but how does that even matter… now that all that stuff is banned… why am I here. Does anyone actually care about me? People are just going to say they do to try and like stop me from doing something… but does anyone actually care? I kept myself here by telling myself that there must be someone who cares. But now it seems like thats not true. I have told people that and some times they say that no one really does care… so why am I even here then. There’s no point. Of me. Im dumb the only thing im “good” at is a ending arguments. But thats just useless. So I have gotten close to attempting 5 times and I fully attempted once.. that was 16 days ago.

People say I have something to look forward too. My birthday. But those aren’t exciting anymore… and it doesn’t matter because im probably not going to be around for it anyway. For a lot of people, if they know me this would be a surprise because I always sound happy when im talking to people. I have just been hiding everything and I cant anymore. I just cant. Making this post is pointless… i just needed to talk to someone… and I did and it didn’t really help…

I just dont know anymore

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holy shit I said a lot

eternal swallow Jun 28, 2025, 4:37 AM

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Hey, I feel the same a lot. Or used to at least. Helping others makes me feel better about myself.

I know that, based on what you’ve said, you probably won’t believe me

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But I really care about ya, even if I don’t know you.

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Idk what else to say other than that if you need to talk I’m fully on board, I’d love to get to know you so you have someone to come to

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Also I want you to know I’m not saying this just to make you feel better, or hell to even make myself feel better, but you matter just as much as I do, as anyone else does

meager merlin Jun 28, 2025, 4:47 AM

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I know it really seems hard right now feeling like nobody cares and I get how you feel, if anyone is making you feel that way I would either talk to them about jt or leave, but people care about you alot you have done so much to help people and I'm so sorry you're feeling that way but for something to help I would say write down people who care about you everyday, I tried to and it really helped me, you don't have to but just a little something to help, I hope you have an amazing summer/winter and remember that people do care :)!

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 4:47 AM

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lapis raven Ive been helping people to try to make myself feel better about just life… or at...

I care about you.. please don’t end it..

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 4:48 AM

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lapis raven Ive been helping people to try to make myself feel better about just life… or at...

Hey it's okay to feel that way and remember if you start thinking about suicide

In one of my OLD vents someone told me something and that is a really good point

If you feel useless remember your more useless when yours dead

Let that sink in please
Just because your trans doesn't mean people won't like you or care!

Trust me You matter a lot more then you know so please stay with us

Sorry for this long ass thing

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 4:50 AM

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lapis raven Ive been helping people to try to make myself feel better about just life… or at...

I wrote this on another mental health post, but those who die by their own hands are the ones who chain their hands together. And I mean it in the sense that they give themselves no other option. They forget that they can get help and once it gets too rough… they end it...

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 4:50 AM

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Thanks a lot!@real burrow @eternal swallow and @real burrow this really helps!

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 4:51 AM

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Yeah don't mention it

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 4:51 AM

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Also people do say really bad things because im trans…

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 4:51 AM

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I try to help as many people as i can

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Dms are open! So please DM me I have helped a lot of trans people so I am open to talk to

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 4:51 AM

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real burrow Dms are open! So please DM me I have helped a lot of trans people so I am open t...

thanks!

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 4:52 AM

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lapis raven Also people do say really bad things because im trans…

Yeah they always say bad stuff but you can't have people push you ding because of who you are STAND PROUD

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 4:53 AM

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lapis raven Also people do say really bad things because im trans…

Don’t listen to them. They’re just jealous that you get to be free and outside of a box, while they live in a box.

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 4:54 AM

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ngl… right after I posted this I was thinking about committing… especially after someone who helped me a lot in the past said something in my dms… I can’t repeat what they said here but it was really bad…

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 4:54 AM

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real burrow Don’t listen to them. They’re just jealous that you get to be free and outside o...

yeah

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 4:55 AM

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lapis raven ngl… right after I posted this I was thinking about committing… especially after...

Can you DM me it?

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 4:55 AM

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I hope ill be okay for a bit longer because of you guys! Thanks!

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 4:55 AM

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lapis raven I hope ill be okay for a bit longer because of you guys! Thanks!

No problem

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 4:56 AM

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real burrow Can you DM me it?

I dont really feel comfortable repeating what they said, some of it contained nsfw things so…

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 4:57 AM

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lapis raven I dont really feel comfortable repeating what they said, some of it contained ns...

Oh okay that's understandable (DEFFENALY didn't forget how to spell)

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I HOPE THAT PERSON BURNS/hj

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I hope that person ends up in a burning house. And I hope they survive. So they live with the weight of their scars, so they know the feeling of their words

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:00 AM

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real burrow Oh okay that's understandable (DEFFENALY didn't forget how to spell)

I had a friend who couldn’t spell lol

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we have a long story of why we aren’t friends

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:01 AM

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real burrow I hope that person ends up in a burning house. And I hope they survive. So they ...

Yeah

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:02 AM

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real burrow I hope that person ends up in a burning house. And I hope they survive. So they ...

AGREED

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they need to bear the scars that they inflict on others mentally (and maybe even physically)

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YES

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THEY SHOULD PARRISH AND SUFFER AND SEE THE SCARS ON THEMSELVES FOR BEING MEAN

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They should fall asleep and wake up in hell

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Too far?

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:06 AM

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Eh lol

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:07 AM

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real burrow THEY SHOULD PARRISH AND SUFFER AND SEE THE SCARS ON THEMSELVES FOR BEING MEAN

They shouldn’t die, they should live. Most bullies end up bearing the scars of the pain they inflicted on others.

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and they suffer

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:07 AM

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its also just hard that ik i need to come out to my parents but idk how I should and im scared

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:07 AM

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real burrow They shouldn’t die, they should live. Most bullies end up bearing the scars of t...

Okay yeah that

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:07 AM

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lapis raven its also just hard that ik i need to come out to my parents but idk how I should...

I have only came out to half and they are part of the lgbtq

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:08 AM

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ive been trans and ive been hiding it for years…

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6 years almost

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:08 AM

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lapis raven its also just hard that ik i need to come out to my parents but idk how I should...

Just try to subtly hint at it, and when you’re ready then tell them the full story

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:08 AM

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ive tried but i just chicken out ig

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the only way I would be able to come out would be over text

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:09 AM

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You just have to build up that courage

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:09 AM

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im too scared otherwise

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yeah…

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:09 AM

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Are your parents homophobic?

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:10 AM

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real burrow Are your parents homophobic?

Nope they support lgbtq

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but im still scared and idk why

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:10 AM

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Oh then YOU'VE GOT THIS

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I BELIEVE IN YOU

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:11 AM

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real burrow Oh then YOU'VE GOT THIS

i dont though

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:11 AM

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lapis raven i dont though

THAT'S NEGATIVITY AND YOUR NOT GONNA GET ANYWHERE WITH THAT

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You can do anything you put your mind too

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:11 AM

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yeah…

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:11 AM

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real burrow THAT'S NEGATIVITY AND YOUR NOT GONNA GET ANYWHERE WITH THAT

NEGATIVITY PULLS YOU DOWN!

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And the only thing stopping you is yourself

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:11 AM

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yeah…

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:12 AM

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SPREAD YOUR WINGS AND FLY

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YEAH

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:12 AM

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lol idk what to say to them though

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how do I tell them

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:12 AM

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Just say parents

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Ask if you can have a serious convo

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Ya

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And say that you have had something on you chest for a while

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:13 AM

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the only plan I have so far and ive had this plan for a while is to like text them at 2am and then I go to sleep and they can have time to talk to each other while im asleep

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because I dont want to hear there first reaction

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their*

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:14 AM

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It's better to just tell them

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:15 AM

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real burrow It's better to just tell them

I cant… social anxiety ig

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talking to people online is best for me

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I can talk perfectly well in person but my brain hates it

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:16 AM

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lapis raven I cant… social anxiety ig

I DO TOO BUT THAT WON'T GET YOU ANYWHERE YOU JUST HAVE TO BUILD UP COURAGE!!!

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:16 AM

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lapis raven I cant… social anxiety ig

well, your parents most likely will understand that you’re scared to tell them

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when you’re just chilling with ur parents just casually bring it up

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:17 AM

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yeah… i want to tell them over text but what would I say?

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:17 AM

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lapis raven yeah… i want to tell them over text but what would I say?

”Hey uhm… so I have something serious to tell you.”

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”I am (blank) and I was too scared to tell you in person.”

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:19 AM

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okay…

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@tough sapphire your trans right? Have you come out to your parents? And if so, how?

real burrow Jun 28, 2025, 5:20 AM

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it’s just a simple layout. But if you want to add your own words to it then that’s fine too

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:20 AM

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yeah

tough sapphire Jun 28, 2025, 5:26 AM

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lapis raven <@1363978506664673364> your trans right? Have you come out to your parents? And ...

No.

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Sorry, no.

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:26 AM

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oh sorry then

tough sapphire Jun 28, 2025, 5:37 AM

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lapis raven oh sorry then

It’s okay!

lapis raven Jun 28, 2025, 5:42 AM

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I hate this. I actually hate this. In a different dc server people keep calling me by he/him pronouns… I correct them and they they say sorry and then its all good, and then other people keep coming and doing the same thing! So far 8 people did that back to back 😭

bronze furnace Jun 28, 2025, 6:18 AM

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lapis raven I hate this. I actually hate this. In a different dc server people keep calling ...

It's prolly your pfp

lapis raven Jun 29, 2025, 2:27 AM

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bronze furnace It's prolly your pfp

yeah idk maybe

lapis raven Jun 29, 2025, 7:33 PM

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Gl everyone im going to be gone for a little…

tough sapphire Jun 30, 2025, 2:54 AM

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Let’s hope it’s not for a lot though!

lapis raven Jul 5, 2025, 11:20 PM

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tough sapphire Let’s hope it’s not for a lot though!

back…

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my mental state is non existent now

tough sapphire Jul 5, 2025, 11:42 PM

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lapis raven my mental state is non existent now

That’s bad…

lapis raven Jul 5, 2025, 11:43 PM

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tough sapphire That’s bad…

idk what is bad or good anymore

tough sapphire Jul 5, 2025, 11:43 PM

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Same…

lapis raven Jul 5, 2025, 11:43 PM

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My family went camping and I almost attempted every day

tough sapphire Jul 5, 2025, 11:43 PM

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I nearly attempted 5 minutes ago…

lapis raven Jul 5, 2025, 11:43 PM

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couldn’t even use my phone

lapis raven Jul 5, 2025, 11:44 PM

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tough sapphire I nearly attempted 5 minutes ago…

what???

tough sapphire Jul 5, 2025, 11:44 PM

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I have a blade, waiting to cut rn

lapis raven Jul 5, 2025, 11:44 PM

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tough sapphire I have a blade, waiting to cut rn

dontt please

tough sapphire Jul 5, 2025, 11:44 PM

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lapis raven what???

What?

lapis raven Jul 5, 2025, 11:44 PM

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dont do that.. people care abiut you, I care a lot

tough sapphire Jul 5, 2025, 11:44 PM

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Don’t try to act happy and helpful after that.

lapis raven Jul 5, 2025, 11:45 PM

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yeah…

lapis raven Jul 5, 2025, 11:45 PM

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tough sapphire Don’t try to act happy and helpful after that.

im not acting happy….

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i just dont know how to really do anything anymore

tough sapphire Jul 5, 2025, 11:45 PM

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I’m not in a condition to help.

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I’m sorry.

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Bye.

lapis raven Jul 6, 2025, 3:37 AM

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tough sapphire I’m sorry.

its okay…

lapis raven Jul 6, 2025, 3:38 AM

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tough sapphire Bye.

are you going to end it…? Please don’t

real burrow Jul 6, 2025, 4:48 AM

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They aren't I don't think

lapis raven Jul 6, 2025, 5:15 AM

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real burrow They aren't I don't think

hopefully

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ugh being trans is stressful and then I also think Im lesbian😭

real burrow Jul 6, 2025, 5:16 AM

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lapis raven ugh being trans is stressful and then I also think Im lesbian😭

Eep it's gonna be okay

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Dms are open

lapis raven Jul 6, 2025, 5:41 AM

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tough sapphire Bye.

hey are you okay?

tough sapphire Jul 6, 2025, 11:59 AM

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lapis raven hey are you okay?

I cut, nearly ov||erdos||ed, but yes.

lapis raven Jul 6, 2025, 10:53 PM

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tough sapphire I cut, nearly ov||erdos||ed, but yes.

Its not worth it… dont cut. Dont overdose. Please!

lapis raven Jul 6, 2025, 10:53 PM

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real burrow Hey it's okay to feel that way and remember if you start thinking about suicide ...

@tough sapphire read this

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read the message I replied to please

tough sapphire Jul 6, 2025, 10:56 PM

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I can’t get more useless.

real burrow Jul 6, 2025, 11:01 PM

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tough sapphire I can’t get more useless.

You’re not useless.

tough sapphire Jul 6, 2025, 11:02 PM

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real burrow You’re not useless.

What makes you that that?

real burrow Jul 6, 2025, 11:03 PM

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You help a lot of people, you helped me, and you’re way more useful than anyone I’ve met (not saying anyone else is useless)

real burrow Jul 6, 2025, 11:04 PM

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tough sapphire What makes you that that?

You were also allowing people to vent to you though you are hurting I think that’s an accomplishment and that’s showing that you’re not useless. You’re the most useful person in the world you’re amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise not even your own brain.

tough sapphire Jul 6, 2025, 11:05 PM

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real burrow You were also allowing people to vent to you though you are hurting I think that...

And yet I broke. That means I failed. I’m a failure. And I’m putting my pain on the main person of this post. I’m awful for this.

tough sapphire Jul 6, 2025, 11:06 PM

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real burrow You help a lot of people, you helped me, and you’re way more useful than anyone ...

And what else have I done?

real burrow Jul 6, 2025, 11:09 PM

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tough sapphire And yet I broke. That means I failed. I’m a failure. And I’m putting my pain on ...

no, that’s OK. Just because you’re putting pain on it. It’s a mental health event and I bet the person that made the vent would be happy that you’re able to share how you feel you’re not a failure and you’re not failing.

tough sapphire Jul 6, 2025, 11:12 PM

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real burrow no, that’s OK. Just because you’re putting pain on it. It’s a mental health even...

I doubt that.

real burrow Jul 6, 2025, 11:13 PM

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tough sapphire I doubt that.

remember if you ever feel like you’re useless and one of my events, I was told that you are mother useless often dead so think about it that way

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look, I might’ve only talked to you for a few moments, but I care a lot about you. I care about everyone on this server every event I wanna reply to even if I can’t I want them to feel notice. What you were doing with the one and two times a day fence of letting people vent to you that is amazing.

lapis raven Jul 6, 2025, 11:14 PM

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tough sapphire I doubt that.

why? He’s right

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your not a failure

tough sapphire Jul 6, 2025, 11:15 PM

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real burrow look, I might’ve only talked to you for a few moments, but I care a lot about yo...

It’s not amazing, it’s just a simple thing.

tough sapphire Jul 6, 2025, 11:16 PM

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lapis raven your not a failure

Then why have a failed trying not to cut 5 days in a row?

lapis raven Jul 6, 2025, 11:16 PM

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tough sapphire Then why have a failed trying not to cut 5 days in a row?

its not failing. Its just a setback

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you can always keep trying

real burrow Jul 6, 2025, 11:16 PM

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tough sapphire Then why have a failed trying not to cut 5 days in a row?

Self harms and addiction honestly but the fact that you are trying means that you want to improve

lapis raven Jul 6, 2025, 11:17 PM

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never think your failing until you are.

real burrow Jul 6, 2025, 11:17 PM

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tough sapphire It’s not amazing, it’s just a simple thing.

Simple or not you’re helping a lot of people

tough sapphire Jul 6, 2025, 11:17 PM

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real burrow Simple or not you’re helping a lot of people

I’ve helped no one with them so far.

tough sapphire Jul 6, 2025, 11:17 PM

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lapis raven its not failing. Its just a setback

And that setback is more than a setback.

real burrow Jul 6, 2025, 11:18 PM

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tough sapphire I’ve helped no one with them so far.

That's fine, You will

lapis raven Jul 6, 2025, 11:18 PM

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and if you think you are then you failed, but if you think your succeeding then you wont think about fail

tough sapphire Jul 6, 2025, 11:18 PM

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lapis raven never think your failing until you are.

I know, that’s why I think I’m failing.

lapis raven Jul 6, 2025, 11:18 PM

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tough sapphire I know, that’s why I think I’m failing.

then try harder. Keep trying to stop

tough sapphire Jul 6, 2025, 11:19 PM

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lapis raven and if you think you are then you failed, but if you think your succeeding then ...

I know, self fulfilling prophecy and all that.

tough sapphire Jul 6, 2025, 11:19 PM

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lapis raven then try harder. Keep trying to stop

What do you think I’ve been trying?

lapis raven Jul 6, 2025, 11:24 PM

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tough sapphire *What do you think I’ve been trying?*

sorry…

real burrow Jul 6, 2025, 11:25 PM

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tough sapphire *What do you think I’ve been trying?*

keep trying and people who are at their lowest have nowhere to go but up and I think you only have one way to go is up. I am so many others are so proud of you. Believe it or not it's true.

tough sapphire Jul 6, 2025, 11:28 PM

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lapis raven sorry…

It’s okay.

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I’t my fault anyways.

tough sapphire Jul 6, 2025, 11:29 PM

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real burrow keep trying and people who are at their lowest have nowhere to go but up and I t...

I’m was at my lowest 5 days ago, I somehow keep going down.

real burrow Jul 6, 2025, 11:30 PM

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