#Watched my ex kill himself because he cheated on me with his best friend for a whole month

55 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

sonic tree
#

TW: Suicide, cheating and toxic relationships

I've been through a lot of toxic exes, manipulative, cheaters, etc.
But I had dated this guy for like two months and it was going really well the first month, we would spent everyday in calls and being there for each other. We were completely in love or so I thought.. One day he had completely stopped texting or calling me without a single word, I was so confused and worried about him that something had happened. I kept trying to contact him everyday for a whole month, until he suddenly sent me a text saying "Call me, I'm sorry". So I did, I called him on discord and he explained everything to me. I felt betrayed and destroyed, but the worst thing came now. His last words before disaster went down was "I'm sorry", before pulling out a knife and slitting his own throat. Forcing me to basically watch him die as I heard the horrifying noises he made before collapsing in his chair, I was in complete shock literally unable to proceed what just happened. To this day I still remember this and I can't stop thinking about what he did to me

jolly tartan
#

Oh my fucking God that's horrible? This can really scar someone for life do you wanna talk to me about it? My DMS are open

ruby flare
sonic tree
floral hull
#

Therapists can help more than people on the internet

#

that is a severely traumatizing event so therapy is like 100% needed

sonic tree
floral hull
#

Okay next question then

#

Was than an online bf or a real bf

sonic tree
#

Online

floral hull
#

My brother in Christ

#

Stop dating mentally ill people on the internet please

#

Dating *

sonic tree
#

He did it outta guilt apparently and because his friend stopped talking to him for reason I still don't know

floral hull
#

My point stilm stands

#

You have zero control over online relationships

#

Stop dating people online

#

Just find a relationship irl

sonic tree
#

I'm awkward as hell in real life

floral hull
#

People might still like you

#

Find someone you like being around 24/7

sonic tree
#

That'll be hard, I'm socially anxious as fuck and I don't like the real world

outer crane
floral hull
#

Therapy is often the best solution for these kinds things

zenith owl
#

What’s happening here?

floral hull
zenith owl
# floral hull Read gang

I read the original message but reading the entire conversation is gonna take a while and I wanna help fast?

sonic tree
floral hull
outer crane
# sonic tree That'll be hard, I'm socially anxious as fuck and I don't like the real world

Im sorry I get that, you don't HAVE to put yourself out there irl to be happy. You just need to find someone to help you and care about you whether it be irl or online, truly doesn't matter. I promise there are people out there wherever they may be who can be there for you, and you will find them or they will find you. I suggest you get some kind of therapy system set up though because clearly this was traumatic, and you will need help recovering. I wish you the best

sonic tree
#

Jesus, no one told you couldn't stop talking

warm kayak
#

@sonic tree I am so sorry that you had to witness that, it must have been so scary and maybe even traumatizing as someone who used to have thoughts of killing myself I went to a therapist and it helped alot so find someone you can talk to because no one deserves to live with that.

sonic tree
outer crane
# floral hull Stop dating people online

He can do what he wants. Just because of one bad person does not mean he automatically has to move to someone irl, believe me healthy long distance relationships DO exist. Some of my friends have them going for years and plan to meet. Don't discourage someone from something that makes them more comfortable, they can have a long distance relationship if they choose to.

floral hull
sonic tree
outer crane
# sonic tree Yeah, I've struggled with far too much toxicity in my love life and been taken a...

I understand, it's definitely really hard to find your person and often times it can take a while and a lot of negative experiences before you eventually get there. But I can promise you that they are definitely out there, and you will find your way to each other. Im very sorry that you're in a bad spot right now, i would definitely recommend a therapist/service that can help you through it

warm kayak
sonic tree
outer crane
#

It's definitely uncomfortable but sadly I think that is the only option. Getting through the first part of it is hard and really upsetting but in the end, they will be able to help you recover as best they can

sonic tree
#

I've tried therapy a couple times and they've always made me feel uncomfortable and made it worse for me, I understand their purpose is to help people talk about things that's traumatizing. But I've only felt worse when I tell therapists stuff like this

#

I've gotten medicine and stuff for this before and it only made me have severe panic attacks and increased my anger issues more, so I told my parents that I can't do it and I've stopped going to therapy since 2022

gloomy ravine
#

I may not be much but, N I hope that your future will be better for you.. As much as I wish I could help but there isn't much in my power I could, your a very strong person and I respect that you are still going on life even when it is difficult. I am open for DMS if needed but is not a force because I don't want to make you uncomfortable but am here if you need to talk or have a short talk away from reality. Your strong and you are still going through despite everything and I am glad you are still here. I am always here to listen for anyone that needs someone to talk to or have a short break from the reality... I hope I didn't text anything that upsets you but please do let me know if I did. Your stronger than life and I admire that your still standing, I hope you have a better experience and find someone who would stay with you for life... Even if it is long distance I hope and pray they will love you as much as you love them. I don't blame you for not being comfortable with therapy as I understand that sometimes it feels very off or the person doesn't give the best advice..

#

I apologize for the long note

sonic tree
#

Thank you for telling me I'm strong because I've never felt like that, but I'm glad you told me I am and yeah I agree. To me, therapists feels like actors who only read lines on a script and I felt so uncomfortable going every monday because that's what my old therapists would always book for me and I felt so unbelievably stressed going my social anxiety gave me severe panic attacks and I had to just hide myself away somewhere for a bit because I hate causing scenes

gloomy ravine
#

It takes time to find someone who is able to be physically there when you need them. I may have gone to therapists before but it didn't help much in my experience as well, often it is understandable that therapists are like people who just gives you the advice but never really solving the problems that your going through

#

I have taken action in my own hands for myself and others, in real life and physically despite I was very young and no older than 8 or 9 years old. I was told many times that I am able to make people feel better even some ask me if I worked as a therapist but in reality am just a school student who wants to help people with problems. I will try my best to help others even if it is not much. sometimes words are the only option as a message but I am fine with it as long as I am able to help you and many others

sonic tree
#

Yeah, but a lot of the advice I was always given was stuff like "If you focus on improving yourself, recovering can do you better" or "I understand but try not to focus on what happened back then, you aren't going anywhere if you keep doing so". Sure it's genuinely good advice, but the phrasing one therapist (for example) used made it sound like I was always being scolded for my trauma and should improve my bs as the asshole therapist told me. He was just a dick and didn't really ever give good advice

gloomy ravine
#

sighs I don't understand why are those advices even seen the best as I would prefer to have you to have someone who understands the pain and as usual we all got our own ways to cope with problems but telling people off and just focus on the future is easier said than done. don't listen to those that say you need to improve cause they, themselves are the ones who needs to be more sensible and understanding and not to tell people they must improve when the patient is already struggling.

sonic tree
#

Yeah, I would always get therapist who told me to focus on my future and not my past and I hate when I get told this

gloomy ravine
#

People may always say you can't change the past but you can change the future but it never clicks for me as I feel like making mistakes in the future will make things worse so I always prefer another way. Coping may take time and sometimes we don't know how to cope with our trauma and etc, as we might not know what works best for us. I would prefer to say that, is best to take time for yourself as focusing on others and ignoring your mental health and current state will most likely make it worse

zenith owl