Need help with coming out to parents as gay

[clever mulch]

hey y’all! so i’ve really came to my feelings in October last year and ever since i’ve wanted to come out. i’ve come out to some close circle friends and slowly have been coming out to other friends. so far it’s has gone great. as i am theatre and speech that’s where most of my friends are at so it’s put me in a great group of people that love and support me. but there are still two people in my life that i feel like should know, my parents. i’ve gotten close several times but they keep doing homophobic shit every now and then. like i checked out heartstopper from my local library and they returned it :/. after that they said i can only check stuff out that they approve of.

the best way to describe my mom
at least is a 90s conservative. still believes in human rights but now days is considered left. my dad voted for trump and had(mom threw it away LMAO) a “let’s go brandon” shirt, but has never done anything too homophobic. one thing to keep in mind is i live in THE MOST conservative state (send help pls).

one of reasons that makes me want to come is that my mom has said she loves me very much no matter what, which i appreciate very much since i think they might be suspecting i am queer. but it still doesn’t distract from some of the stuff they have done.

last thing(sorry for the yap sesh), is that i came out as Asexual a while back cause i was not liking anyone (girls) so i just figured i didn’t like anyone. i gathered the courage and my mom just told me “your not”. which was a punch the to the chest

so that brings me back to my original question. 1. is it safe to come out (i think it is, would love to hear some opinions tho), if so; 2. how should i start and continue the conversation where i take control and let them know in clear and concise manner.

thanks in advance!!!!

[prime breach]

FYI you don't have to come out while you're still dependent. Wait until you're independent (ready to have your own house/apartment, or already have one and pay for it yourself, along for food)

I don't think it's a good idea right now

Unless you manage to get them onto the ally side (convincing them for example), it's a bad idea

[tribal wyvern]

i agree with the comment above mine, if you’re having doubts because of their behavior or you think that your parents are going to deny it when you tell them, i’d say it’s best to wait until you’re less dependent on them to live your life.

it won’t be easy because you’ll be silencing a huuuuge part of yourself, but it may be better for your mental health as well as your home life in the long run if you kept that info to yourself

it’s your decision to come out if you’re ready! just try to keep these things in mind

[clever mulch]

yeah i get that, but then again i really want to date and i really don’t wait several years. cause even if i hide it wont be hidden for forever

[tacit nimbus]

hey there, saw the message and it's honestly a rough situation for you dude, so first off let me say godspeed to you, whichever route you choose.

1. is it safe to come out
   I'd say the ultimate decision is up to you, and it is difficult to make a judgement call, but I'd say it isn't that unsafe. Your mom says that she'd love you no matter what(and I almost think this is an indicator that she might be picking up hints), and also at the absolute worst case scenario you have many good and close friends that would be willing to support you no matter what, so on those regards I'd say it'd be a rather safe move. Difficult, of course! But very much not out of reason. Your parents might have some time adjusting to it but more often than not, you're still their son and so I feel like they'd come around on it if they don't right away.
2. how should i start and continue the conversation where i take control and let them know in clear and concise manner.
   Nobody is forcing you to say anything face to face. You can always send a text message to your mom, dad, or both(you don't have to come out to them at the same time) and explain everything that is on your mind, without a chance of them interrupting. It's less confrontational while still getting your message across. It can be as long or as short as you want, up to you.

Ultimately, it's your decision when it comes to coming out, and you know your parents better than anyone in this server, so weigh out the pros and possible consequences. I wish you the best of luck and hope everything turns out to be okay. Take care :3