I want to come out to my friends as gay, but there's one major problem:
I cannot take ANYTHING they say seriously.
TW: SH
Our friend group is centered entirely around comedy, and most of our discussions are back and forth jokes that are an attempt to make other people laugh. I haven't really had a serious conversation with anyone, and I feel uncertain about their perception/opinion of LGBTQ+ people. They're not bad people, but I'm really scared of becoming more distant to them. I already feel partially alien and am trying to suppress that anxiety, but if I come out and they talk to me less, I'm scared of what I'll do. I went through a really bad self-harm phase not long ago and have kind of gotten out of it to the point where I'm not doing it, but it's still an instinct that I'll probably act upon.
I am fully conscious of my mental problems but I find it so difficult to actually fix them.
Sorry for the rant, just need some advice on how to maybe start a convo or maybe just gauge their opinions.
thx