I have pretty severe BPD and attachment issues, so I know when something could like "trigger" me and make me want to hurt myself but the thing is i feel like a jerk for wanting to cut. My best friend of a few years recently got a few new friends, which is perfectly fine with me, but he's been ignoring me and spending more time with them than with me. I'd feel awful if I told him that because I don't want to isolate him or lose him as a friend, but It really hurts. I don't have many friends because of my awkwardness so I'm pretty lonely, and I've been clean for almost a whole year now, but I feel like I'm a part of a joke I don't know about and it's giving me anxiety so now I just wanna cut or do something to hurt myself but I feel like a massive asshole for wanting to. I've cut myself over stupid things before, and I've been institutionalized for ideations once, but this situation is actually making me think and I don't really know what to do about it since I've confronted him about it once before and the entire talk made me feel guilty, but I'm scared that I'll lose my clean streak and go back into my addiction. I'm really sorry that this seems like a tiny issue compared to other people's struggles, but I really don't have anyone to speak to about this.
#I think im gonna hurt myself but I feel stupid for it
ocean agate
cobalt estuary
Your problems are not any less valid than someone elses, if someone's drowning 5ft underwater and the other one is 10ft, they're still both drowning, so your feelings are completely valid💗 And I think it's a really good thing that you talked to him abt it🩷 And ofc I cant really stop you from cutting yourself, but try to hold on as long as you can, and when you cant no more, if you happen to relapse, make sure to do it in the safest way possible, use clean tools and remember to clean your wounds and treat them💞 If you need someone to talk to, even if I'm just a stranger I'm still more than happy to listen!!