#Being autistic with neurotypical friends

10 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

wispy quiver
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Okay, so, this happened today, and I'm coming here to vent because I feel very overstimulated right now, and I don't have anyone to talk to who could understand me better. 
If there's another neurodivergent person seeing this, please, I need your opinion on this because I genuinely feel so misunderstood right now.

I was making jokes in a group chat with two friends, and it was mostly just ragebait for sillies, something that we do every day. After a while, I started noticing that the friend I was talking to started being overly rude. When I asked why he was being like this, he told me that it was because he thought my ragebait messages were serious (mind you, we were all joking around at the moment, so I don't know why he felt like I was genuinely mad and rude to him). I mentioned multiple times that I wasn't being serious. I feel ignored. He disappeared. I started shaking because of the overstimulation and left the group chat without knowing what to do. 
My other friend texted me in dms, I obviously answered, and we both started talking about the situation. She started talking about his perspective the whole time, defending the friend I had a misunderstanding with, saying that she understood why he got mad because I also "sounded serious and mad". I can't believe the closest friend I have genuinely couldn't tell if I wasn't being serious or also joking (which, I repeat, we were all doing at the moment). This is why I feel so misunderstood 😞 Please, help me

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Like, I understand why he misunderstood, but can't they understand me too?? Why am I getting blamed? Why is my perspective not important??? Because I would never think that during a joke, my friends would genuinely insult me, so why would they think that about me after we did this many times before??

fast shadow
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I'm not neurodivergent myself BUT I do have an autistic little brother and I understand not being understood weither joking or being serious. I wanna suggest mainly using tone tags (like most here on discord do). At the same time tho if y'all are friends I feel they should already know and be able to tell that from you which is telling me they don't pay enough attention to you as a friend

wispy quiver
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Omg idk why is my message getting tagged

wispy quiver
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And yeah, I was thinking about that last part.. I don't feel like they know how I function and that makes me so sad because I actually took my time to understand them the best

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So things like these would be less frequent

fast shadow
# wispy quiver So things like these would be less frequent

Well just try talking to them either all at once or one-on-one about like "look I don't fucntion xyz way so I didn't mean for it to seem that way. I would like y'all to maybe start paying a tad more attention to me so y'all can understand and we don't have to break off our friendship". If it continues or it just goes in ear and out the other then they don't deserve your time, dear. 🫂

wispy quiver
fast shadow