Failing

[lone lichen]

I’m really thinking about breaking my streak of two years just to relapse, I need the feeling I miss and crave

[elder beacon]

Hey, I’m really proud of you for getting to two years, that’s not small, that’s huge. I know cravings can feel overwhelming, like they’re pulling you under. But you’ve fought them before, and you can fight this one too. You’re not alone in this, okay? I’m here if you want to talk, even in DMs if that feels safer or more private. I care, and I’m rooting for you to stay strong.

[lone lichen]

Thank you, idk what to do anymore it’s been a week since I tried to take my own life and I regret it but at the same time miss fhe relief it gave me

[elder beacon]

I’m really glad you’re still here. I know that might sound simple, but I mean it. The fact that you regret what happened and still feel like you miss the relief, that’s okay. It doesn’t make you bad or weak, it just means you're hurting, and your brain is trying to find a way to stop the pain. But relief doesn’t only come from hurting yourself. It can come from healing too, though healing is slower, and way harder.
You don’t have to figure it all out at once. What matters right now is that you pause. Even just for tonight. You made it two years before, and you can make it through this craving too. You are not alone. I’m not a professional, but I care deeply, and I want you to be okay. I’m still here if you want to keep talking, and I’m not going anywhere. 💛

[half bear]

Wow. Two years? Great job. I do understand the crave. I really do. But do you have any markers? What makes cutting a relief? Do you like seeing the blood? Is it the sharp pain?

[lone lichen]

Just the pain

Just seeing my own blood

It’s something I never stop craving

[half bear]

Ok so blood and pain?

[lone lichen]

Haha yeah

[half bear]

Ok. So do you have ice?

Or a tight rubber band?

[half bear]

Yeah I get that.

[lone lichen]

I’ve tried those both

It doesn’t give enough unfortunately

[half bear]

Gotha.

[lone lichen]

But I’ll be fine I just need to keep my promise to my friends

[half bear]

Do you want to see the progress?

Like all the cuts in one go?

[half bear]

I would recommend the butterfly project. If you wanna know what it is, lemme know.

[lone lichen]

What is that?

[lone lichen]

Yeah

I like the state of going deeper and deeper every time not the same for them all

[half bear]

Ok. I understand. I would recommend using a red permanent marker to draw the blood. Or a pen.

[lone lichen]

thank you for the option.. I’m sorry

[half bear]

Why you sorry?

[half bear]

Also, the butterfly project is where your friends draw a unique butterfly. Every 7 days, the butterfly cacoons, making it from a catapillar to a beatiful butterfly. If you cut, the butterfly dies.

[lone lichen]

I don’t want you to need to help me I’m just getting in the way of your life

[lone lichen]

Sounds threatening

[half bear]

I have all the free time in the world. I wouldn't worry about me.

[half bear]

Yeah. Kinda. But that's the point. Encouraging you to not to cut