#Why can’t we all have love?

12 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

errant needle
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What I figured out today was that I have trouble finding love, and it’s starting to get lonely when you haven’t had any romantic tension for your whole life. Should I stop trying and be aromantic?

quiet zinc
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I don’t think you can choose your sexuality/romantic inclination. It’s more about whether or not you’re able to feel a romantic connection.

Having trouble finding it doesn’t mean you’re unable to have it in general.

I’m not going to say keep looking because that’s cliche, what I propose is you look at why you want a romantic relationship so badly.

I used to chase love and relationships, and I’ve suffered in unfulfilling relationships because of that. When I embraced being single and enjoying my life and sharing moments with friends and family is when I understood that there’s a lot more to life than just a romantic relationship. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to have it. I’m actually in a relationship right now after a long time of being single. But I don’t regret my time away from dating. It was very healing and self-building journey.

Ask yourself what you seek out of this romance you want. I think it might not be the advice you asked for, but it might steer you in a direction that’s more fulfilling than where you are now.

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I also want to add that you are more than deserving of romantic love, if that is something you want. Everyone deserves it.

It’s currently tough in the dating climate, but it’s not something we should take away from ourselves because it’s not happening right away or the options aren’t great.

You wouldn’t give up driving a car if there wasn’t a car that fit your needs and desires. You’d keep looking till you found one. Why is this any different?

errant needle
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I get what you’re saying and the reasons of why I feel this way is because I haven’t felt any romantic connection to anyone. Never had any crushes on people while growing up.

Im also feeling like I’m being pressured by others to find someone because of bullying.

quiet zinc
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Ahhh, then in that case, do what feels natural to you. My first point still stands - you can’t choose your romantic inclination. If you don’t feel anything romantic for people, then you don’t. Nobody can force you to.

Society is pretty adamant on making us get into romantic relationships, but we don’t have to follow what it says. Especially if it’s better for our own wellbeing.

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I’m sorry you’re experiencing bullying with this. It’s not okay and people need to mind their own business.

errant needle
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I would at least try to but I always push people away for being so mentally unstable, I feel like being in a situation like this I need to figure out myself, or give time.

quiet zinc
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It’s nobody’s journey but your own. We are only along for the ride.

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Sorry if I speak too metaphorically, but I do see sense in giving yourself time. Rushing toward things is never the answer.

errant needle
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Yes, but right now I’m going through a pretty bad time, so I think I should stop communicating here.

short dune
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I'm lazy so I didn't actually read the conversation fully - but from what I see i think the problem may be that your environment simply has people that you do not have romantic attraction to, so trying to meet more people and develop relationships even if not romantic could be a solution.

quiet zinc