Ive finally had it.

[mild crystal]

ive had it. After my birthday tomorrow im gone. I swear im the most horrible person youll meet. Today my bf was crying what did i do? Sat there and laugh. Im a monster.

[graceful perch]

Typically horrible people don’t think they’re horrible people, so I’m gonna go out on a limb and say maybe you aren’t as bad as your making yourself out to be? Regarding laughter, it’s basically one of the bodies reactions under stress. Laughing and thinking something is funny are two very different things.

[mild crystal]

The thing is i didn't say sorry i dat there laughing my ass off while my friend was calling him a dick head.

[graceful perch]

I'm more curious about this so called friend than anything

[rigid haven]

But you can admit your flawed and you Could’ve been better by knowing that you can be better

[graceful perch]

Regardless, I can tell you one thing that won't help, and that's leaving your boyfriend all together. Clearly he cares for you, and the last thing he wants is to see you gone. An incident like this is not worth someones life.

[mild crystal]

my life is worthless anyway.

[graceful perch]

What brings you to that conclusion?

Also, no one's life is meant to be worth anything

Life is what it is, you don't have to live up to something to justify existing

[mild crystal]

ive done so many bad things i cant catch up with the good things ive hurt so many people and nearly made someone cut themselves, i have nothing to gain or nothing to lose if i do take my life. Only certain people will care but barely anyone will. Theres no point in being in the world if your just gonna make people upset and feel shitty.

[graceful perch]

You sure don't have nothing to gain, what you have to lose on the other hand... You lose chance, possibility, the future. More specifically you lose that time where things can change, you lose a future that differs from today. Things change, some times in small ways over long times but that's still change regardless. When you end it on the other hand, you turn that possibility into a zero. Also, could you give example of these "bad things" you keep mentioning?

[mild crystal]

ive slammed someone's head into a gate causing them to get a concussion and i just sat there and laughed, i cut myself while on call then crashed out and made the person cut themselves i treat people horribly i hit people i steal things i shout scream ans swear at people..

[graceful perch]

Do you like the experience at all?

Because judging by how you feel now...

[pastel lotus]

@mild crystal the only thing that matters is that you try to do better every single day, just a little bit at a time.