Bye

[jolly mauve]

Im done i cant go on with life anymore. Im genuinely unhappy and scared I just wanna end it

[gritty vigil]

Please don't dude I know I didn't know anything about you but please don't how will you outlive your haters?

[chrome tusk]

Please share why. Maybe, just maybe. It helps. It somehow makes you happier. I believe in you. You can do this.

[jolly mauve]

Ok so I live in an extremely anti gay community and I thought i could trust my closest friend so I told him I was bi and now I feel humiliated this has also caused relentless bullying and im too tired to continue. For some lucky reason my mum hasn't found out

I mean i have a knife to do it rn

I don't want to go on

I can't stop shaking but I don't wanna continue with this bullshit

@chrome tusk does that explain?

[gritty vigil]

Potato please don't do this

Do you have any pets?

[jolly mauve]

Not anymore

[gritty vigil]

A younger sibling

A house plant

A stuffed animal

Anything that needs take care of

[outer agate]

what country?

[jolly mauve]

They hate me

[jolly mauve]

Uk

[gritty vigil]

If you do just know if you end up doing it even if they do they will miss you like I hate my brother but I love him and I look up to him and I'm sure your sib will miss you

[jolly mauve]

I really don't care about them

They've called me more slurs than I can count

I have nothing

[gritty vigil]

You can have something

Anything

[jolly mauve]

Like?

[gritty vigil]

What's your favourite food

[jolly mauve]

I don't really much

[gritty vigil]

Well pick something make it get it and sit down and munch on it you can't be hungry!

[jolly mauve]

Nah

[gritty vigil]

But I have to go get ready for school and I will text you as soon as I get back and I need you to answer when you can

I don't need another person gone

[jolly mauve]

I don't know what to do

[outer agate]

Where are you now, home, park?

[jolly mauve]

Home

[outer agate]

thats good

sure is a lovely one

[jolly mauve]

No it fucking isn't

Its shit

Id rather stab myself than be here

[outer agate]

oh, that should be bullshit. Do you have a special place?

[jolly mauve]

No

[outer agate]

lets find one!

[jolly mauve]

I just cry myself through most shit

[outer agate]

what do you like?

[jolly mauve]

I don't know

I like cars ig

[outer agate]

you like cars?

I like dinosaurs, do you like them?

[jolly mauve]

Not really

[outer agate]

then lets talk about cars! But I don't know a lot about them, you will have to helo me!

[jolly mauve]

Oki

[outer agate]

which is your favourite type?

[jolly mauve]

I like lancia

An older rally brand

[outer agate]

ohh loook good

then you like sport cars?

[jolly mauve]

Ig

I mean they ok

[outer agate]

waht do you thing of hybrid cars?

[jolly mauve]

I

[jolly mauve]

?

[outer agate]

I mean, some people hate them and others love them

you?

[jolly mauve]

I dont mind them

Probably the only way you can get me to like electric power in cars

[outer agate]

samrt person😩

[outer agate]

do you like electric cars?

[jolly mauve]

Nah

[outer agate]

ohh

[jolly mauve]

I mean they have benefits but I still don't like them

[outer agate]

I get your point

hmm

anything more?

[jolly mauve]

?

[outer agate]

I for exmple like anime

you?

[jolly mauve]

I mean idk

[outer agate]

you could try and watch anyone

[jolly mauve]

I don't understand how Japanese tho?

[outer agate]

wdym?

[jolly mauve]

Isn't anime in Japanese?

[outer agate]

oh, yes! but depends of which anime. Most of them are translated to English

[jolly mauve]

Oh ok

[outer agate]

we can start with the 4 kings: Naruto, Dragon ball, One piece and Bleach

[jolly mauve]

I mean i could but idk

[outer agate]

It helps to relax, one piece is my favourite

But any serie or film works! even a book, if you enjoy reading

[jolly mauve]

Do they like scream and stuff?

[jolly mauve]

I mean kinda

[outer agate]

I haven't see the films, how are them?

[outer agate]

what gender of book you like

[jolly mauve]

Anything i guess

[outer agate]

In my case, I love Sci-fi

have you read Ready Player One?

[jolly mauve]

Ye

I think

[unkempt hawk]

You wanna dm me @jolly mauve

If I don’t interrupt

[outer agate]

hello!

[jolly mauve]

Im unsure

Im scared

I can't do this

[unkempt hawk]

I haven’t read the whole conversation cause I just saw your first message

[outer agate]

yes you can! you are a brave person

[jolly mauve]

Im holding the knife tho

[unkempt hawk]

I know you are a good and brave person

[jolly mauve]

I'm scared

[unkempt hawk]

You know how the last time felt. You don’t wanna do this again

Put down the knife

[outer agate]

but you are enought brave to tell us your problems! (I couldn't do that!!))

[jolly mauve]

This wont fail

[unkempt hawk]

It won’t fail cause you won’t do it

[jolly mauve]

I will

[unkempt hawk]

Yk how I think about you and it would genuinely break my heart into pieces if you do it

So pls don’t do it

[outer agate]

Instead grab a big pillow and shout through it

it helps, trust me

[jolly mauve]

I'll wake my parents

[outer agate]

teo pillows then!

Two*

[unkempt hawk]

Than get a marker and write with it along the arm

[outer agate]

Make a pillow shelter!

[jolly mauve]

Or i could do that with blood

[unkempt hawk]

Don’t do it

[jolly mauve]

Why

[unkempt hawk]

Cause we’re here

[jolly mauve]

I don't have much

[outer agate]

why would you do taht

[unkempt hawk]

You have us

[outer agate]

yeh!

[viral agate]

im also here

[jolly mauve]

Self harm helps the pain

[outer agate]

no

[jolly mauve]

How do you know

[outer agate]

because it isnt worth it

[unkempt hawk]

The marker is a way of replacing the self harm

[outer agate]

think about it, is it really worht it? I mean grabbing the knife and try to stab yourself? I think is way more easier to grab a lemonade/Ice cream and watch film!

[jolly mauve]

But id rather do the real thing

[jolly mauve]

Im not sure

I think

[unkempt hawk]

In the end you wouldn’t

[unkempt hawk]

We have been trough this one time and you promised me you wouldn’t do it a second time

[jolly mauve]

You dont know that

[jolly mauve]

Well I didn't realise this would happen

[unkempt hawk]

What happened

[outer agate]

listen, where are you now? (room)

[jolly mauve]

Yea

[outer agate]

your room?

[jolly mauve]

Ye

[outer agate]

the bed maybe?

[jolly mauve]

Yeah

[outer agate]

Open the window a little, it is fresher now at this hour

[jolly mauve]

Ok

[outer agate]

breath the fresh air

[jolly mauve]

Ok?

[outer agate]

slowly

inhale and exale

[jolly mauve]

Ok

[outer agate]

look at tehe sky

the*

you see any bird?

what a curious cloud, dont you think?

[jolly mauve]

Its pitch black

[outer agate]

then look at the stars

stars are always beautifull

dont you think

[jolly mauve]

Idk

[outer agate]

yet they are very away they are always visible, up there looking for our safety

they are always with you

[jolly mauve]

I guess

[outer agate]

do you hear criquets?

(idk how to spell it)

[jolly mauve]

No

[viral agate]

crickets are good to listen to, very calming

[outer agate]

do you see the cars parked around?

[jolly mauve]

Yeah

[outer agate]

could you guess they type on this dark night?

[jolly mauve]

Ya

[outer agate]

write here all the cars you see

[jolly mauve]

A few toyotas

I think 2 bmws

Some other cars i cant fully see

[outer agate]

keep breathing slowly

put the knife on the kitchen when you are ready to walk

[jolly mauve]

I dont want to

[outer agate]

but the knife yes! they want to go back to their place

[jolly mauve]

I want it here

[unkempt hawk]

Maybe exchange the knife in the kitchen with some yummy

[outer agate]

at least stop grabbing it

[unkempt hawk]

A chocolate bar or something like that

[jolly mauve]

I can't

[outer agate]

oh! you could grab some fruit

[jolly mauve]

Im scared

[outer agate]

of what

[jolly mauve]

I dont wanna return to normal life

It's horrible

[outer agate]

those voices in your head aren't real, no one is going to hust you

hurt*

[jolly mauve]

Im not hearing stuff

[outer agate]

yes you are

[jolly mauve]

Shut up

[unkempt hawk]

But you’re thinking that stuff

And your thinking are the voices

[outer agate]

no need to be agressive

be are here to help

have you count all the cars?

[jolly mauve]

The knife stays

[jolly mauve]

Ye

[jolly mauve]

Srry

[outer agate]

is it fresher outside? I want to open my window too!

[outer agate]

no worries

[jolly mauve]

Its just cold

[outer agate]

thats ok

breath a litte outside

[jolly mauve]

Oki

[outer agate]

touch the fresh air

[jolly mauve]

Ok

[outer agate]

put both hands outside the window like trying to catch the stars (be carrefull not to fall tho!)

[jolly mauve]

My window is too small for that

[outer agate]

okk

done?

[jolly mauve]

I don't want to go through this

One day was too much

[outer agate]

don't think about that

[jolly mauve]

Tomorrow will be hell

[outer agate]

now lets think only about the stars

[polar jackal]

... Potato... You okay...?

[outer agate]

he will be

[jolly mauve]

I can't

[outer agate]

try it

[jolly mauve]

I am

[outer agate]

then more

[jolly mauve]

I can't focus

[outer agate]

try to count the stars

[jolly mauve]

Im trying

[unkempt hawk]

Like tropicuGT said don’t think about it today but if you want you can write me anything if something happens tomorrow. Yk my dms are always open for you

[outer agate]

yes! thats good

If you want I can friend you in discord, potato!

[jolly mauve]

I can't do tomorrow

[unkempt hawk]

We can stay trough it both together

[jolly mauve]

I'll end up beaten and wishing i was dead

[unkempt hawk]

You can write me anytime in any moment

[outer agate]

we care about you

trust me, it will all be ok

[jolly mauve]

It wont though

[outer agate]

is pride month after all! Be happy

[unkempt hawk]

Stay around adults like teachers. Bullies probably don’t wanna go near a teacher

[outer agate]

yes it will!

[outer agate]

thats good!

[polar jackal]

They'll care about you... Please... Stop...

[jolly mauve]

I don't wanna

I need this cycle to stop

[unkempt hawk]

And you can write me tomorrow the entire day. Every little detail. What you disliked and what you liked

[outer agate]

then make it stop, hurting yourself will only continue the cycle and even worse

[unkempt hawk]

We can stop it. But not by doing self harm or killing but by ending this in a improving way

[outer agate]

yes

[jolly mauve]

The cycle wont continue

[outer agate]

go to the directol and thell them about the bulling

[outer agate]

yes it will

[trail bough]

Does something stop if you don't experience it stopping?

[jolly mauve]

I won't be sad though

[unkempt hawk]

But it won’t be happy

[jolly mauve]

Every bad thing goes away

[jolly mauve]

Im not happy at the moment

[trail bough]

You won't be anythings, it doesn't go away. There is no you to experience it going away

No relief

[outer agate]

you are so young, if you aren't here who would be the one that teach me about cars?

[unkempt hawk]

But with us you will be happy. I promise

[jolly mauve]

.

[trail bough]

Heck, you just end one that bad note, your last feeling this suffering and then kaput

No releif, change, nothing

[unkempt hawk]

And who would play this funny number game?

[jolly mauve]

It might

[jolly mauve]

Yourself

[unkempt hawk]

I can’t play it with anyone else

[jolly mauve]

Ask others

[unkempt hawk]

I can’t

You are the only one

You showed me this game and we never finished it

[outer agate]

why would I teach myself if I have you, and expert, to do that?

[jolly mauve]

I don't know

[outer agate]

me yes

you will

promise me you won't hurt yourself anymore?

ignore those bad throught

and that stupid ppl that only want to hurt

[jolly mauve]

Im stupid then

[outer agate]

no

[trail bough]

Explain the logic underlying this conclusion.

[unkempt hawk]

Ppl you say that they are stupid are just stupid by saying they are stupid and only by saying that

[outer agate]

I mean the ppl that like to make other suffer, like your bullies (they sure aren't smart enought to understand a person fellings))

[jolly mauve]

Ive gave up

[outer agate]

potatoe, you are a good person

[jolly mauve]

I wanna do it

[outer agate]

don't let others make you this

[trail bough]

And that's wanting to hurt others?

[outer agate]

potatoe

[unkempt hawk]

Can you at least exchange the knife with something other sharp but not so threatening tool

[jolly mauve]

How am I hurting anyone else

No one really cared

[unkempt hawk]

I care about you

[outer agate]

you are perfect the way you are

[jolly mauve]

Im not

[outer agate]

dont let others let you down

[outer agate]

yes you are

[jolly mauve]

I have way to many flaws

[outer agate]

everybodie has

[unkempt hawk]

You are frfr the best person online

[jolly mauve]

Im not

[outer agate]

yes you are

[trail bough]

Exactly, you aren't. And therefore you aren't one of those stupid people who like to hurt others

[calm horizon]

and you'll never become a better person if you do choose this.
Let me ask you this, would you rather people remember you like this or as a better version of yourself?

[unkempt hawk]

You fr gave me a straight line for a few days in my life

[trail bough]

No one in the history of humanity doesn't have flaws

[jolly mauve]

I wnat to hurt myself not anyone else

[unkempt hawk]

But with hurting yourself you hurt us. Especially me

[outer agate]

you aren't alone in this

[jolly mauve]

I don't know

[trail bough]

I'd say that's a little bit different, wouldn't you?

[jolly mauve]

No

[outer agate]

why?

[jolly mauve]

I don't know

[outer agate]

We care about you, we want you to be ok, we want to talk to you, We want to help ypu, please let us do that

[calm horizon]

Who do you want to be, Potato?

[trail bough]

Your telling me that hurting yourself because of your suffering is the same as hurting others for entertainment?

[jolly mauve]

I don't honestly know

[outer agate]

lay down on your bed

[trail bough]

Well I can tell you that it's not.

[jolly mauve]

I don't know

[jolly mauve]

Ok

[outer agate]

be carreful to not let the phone fall on your face tho!

ok, waht you see?

what*

[jolly mauve]

A roof

And a phone

[outer agate]

no way

me too

ok, out of jokes, what colour is the roof

is it dark? let a little light on, the light protect everyone

[jolly mauve]

White

[outer agate]

cool

white is a calm color

[unkempt hawk]

What texture does your roof have?

[outer agate]

is it rought or plan

[jolly mauve]

Plain

[unkempt hawk]

Are there shadows?

If yes, where do you see them

And what are the shapes of the shadows

[outer agate]

can you fell teh air entering your room?

[jolly mauve]

I closed the window

[outer agate]

oh men, why?

[jolly mauve]

Cold

[outer agate]

okk

then you see the stars through the window?

[jolly mauve]

I think

[outer agate]

and the moon?

[jolly mauve]

Nah

[outer agate]

then more calm

what is your favourite song?

which*

think it smartly

[jolly mauve]

Idk

[outer agate]

then put yourself some zehn music

[jolly mauve]

I dont usually listen to music

[jolly mauve]

Oki

[outer agate]

it rlps, trust me

helps**

[jolly mauve]

Oki

Ok

[outer agate]

when you get the music, put yourself compitly plain with the arms rasedto the sides

[jolly mauve]

The knife?

[outer agate]

what knife? forget about that, we are listening zehn music, you can let that tool hang in your hand if you want tho

[jolly mauve]

Ok

[outer agate]

if the knife falls to the floor you can grap it back later, if you want

so dont worrie if it falls

[jolly mauve]

Ok

[outer agate]

stay like that some minutes

[jolly mauve]

Ok

[outer agate]

forget about the knife, forget about the phone... everithing. Just you and your bodie

do you fell that energy? it is your soul

[jolly mauve]

Mhn

Mhm

[outer agate]

inhale and exale slowly

[jolly mauve]

Ok

[outer agate]

try to levitate withthe mind

[jolly mauve]

Mhm

[outer agate]

wait

dont you fell something heavy in your hand?

[jolly mauve]

Yea?

[outer agate]

put that heavy thing away, it won't led you fly

[jolly mauve]

But it keeps be anchored

Let me just keep it

[outer agate]

it wont let you fly

doesn't it fells unconfortable and heavy?

[jolly mauve]

Ok

[outer agate]

better, isnt it? : )

[jolly mauve]

I guess

[outer agate]

I am so proud of you right now

now let yourself confortable

fell the music

[jolly mauve]

Oki

[outer agate]

did you know that the sounds are vibrations?

do you fell that buzz in your bodie?

[jolly mauve]

Mhm

I Tired

[outer agate]

are you sleepy

[jolly mauve]

Mhm

[unkempt hawk]

You wanna dm me @jolly mauve ?

[jolly mauve]

Nah ima sleep

Gn

[outer agate]

Gn!

see you tomorrow!!

I am very proud

bye!

[unkempt hawk]

Im proud too!

[jolly mauve]

Mmm

Night

[unkempt hawk]

Good night

[outer agate]

see you!

[trail bough]

Goodnight!

[jolly mauve]

Thx guys

[jolly mauve]

Hey

Thanks for helping me