#I have depression . I see a profesionel . I just want to share. Mabey I find some one to undestand

3 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

wild mason
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First of all, about my own childhood and social deficiencies. I used to be a fat girl. I had anxiety because I was bullied about it in primary school. And I had adhd. But I am described as a smart person by those around me. Anyway, 2 year ago I experienced a harassment incident. A male friend of mine whom I had known since my childhood touched me. I was already struggling with depression at that time. My depression got worse. We sued and although I won, he got rid of the money and a mentally unstable report. So it just went on his record. And we were in the same school. I didn't change schools either. A year passed like this. Then the classmates bullied me for my weight, harassment, and being bisexual. I hated myself. I thought she was my best friend since middle school, but she didn't believe me, she believed the jerk who harassed me. And that boy harassed 2 more girls after me. She believed me after that but she left a lot of scars on me. She didnt sorry . And I committed suicide. It's been 6 months since this happened.It was terrible, I changed schools. We are going to change cities right now. Yes, we are in a small town. We are going to move city. My family says it's not because of me, but I know it's because of me. The economy in my country is already terrible. And I'm making it hard for them. I started to hate myself.Life is getting better but I still blame myself. I hate myself. What I see in the mirror, the voice I speak in, the way I act, hurting the people I love, not thinking enough, and the way I see. I hate when Who I become .

But I want to change. Iwant to learn love myself. I just want share this

warped hazel
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Personally, I think the beauty is finding a balance between good behavior and accepting bad behavior. You shouldn't feel responsibility for actions you have no control over. There is nothing wrong with being wrong sometimes. Life wasn't meant to be perfect. Life is about embracing all of you. The good and the bad. Ofcourse you can strive to be closer to who you want to be. And ofcourse you can get help. And get support. You can try to change yourself. You can try to become someone worthwhile. But meanwhile, you shouldn't feel like your worthless. And even when your not doing those things, you still are you. Hurting is an inevitable part of life. Don't neglect it. Embrace it. But know that there's always sunshine after the storm. And that even the storm itself isn't evil. It feels bad. It looks bad. But it has purpose. Processing your emotions, feeling them. And making an attempt to better yourself is in itself beautiful. I believe you can do this. I believe you will find a way to accept yourself. This will be an experience that forms you for the rest of your life. Don't feel like it's an evil part. Don't feel like it's not important. There are people rooting for you. There will always be someone somewhere that can accept you. Don't give up the search. You can do this. 🙂 We're here. And so are they.

wild mason