i dont know how i will survive this

[hasty hollow]

im a trans girl. yet i have to present masc and conform because if i dont im putting my own safety at risk. at first i thought i could survive, and that i wouldnt get dysphoria, but lo and behold i am getting it. i have to survive like this for almost a decade (remaining school grades + university). i dont know if i have what it takes to live for 9 years without fully being myself. i dont feel so good.

[oak stump]

Are there any times when you are alone?

[hasty hollow]

of course but it doesnt matter because i cant express myself through appearance. which is what i want, for my mirror image to be more like myself

[oak stump]

Ah. Are you living with parents?

[hasty hollow]

yes

[oak stump]

Do they support you?

[hasty hollow]

i havent come out to them yet but i've a feel they wont

[oak stump]

They ain't allys?

[hasty hollow]

yes theyre conservative and my dad is religious too

[oak stump]

oh...

man why do people care about this 😭
Like it doesn't hurt them

[hasty hollow]

its easier to reject something new than to accept it

[oak stump]

Ah man. That sucks. How come it would hurt you that you said in the OP?

[hasty hollow]

if i came out to them or generally was myself around them they'd probably start to dislike me or even disown me, and what's worse is my country has heavily negative views on lgbtq people according to many surveys

[oak stump]

whats your country?

[hasty hollow]

its in the middle east. wont mention which one though

[oak stump]

Fair.

Ones in the middle east are a little... disliking for them. I have no idea why. But yeah I am sorry that's a shitty situation. I hope all is well though

[hasty hollow]

a little is a very big understatement. im kind of lucky it isnt criminalized to be honest.
and as to why - theyre heavily religious and leaders are stubborn to any change