shy nimbus
(Im sending this because ive re-entered this stage and i cnat stop)
I have much guilt is writing this.
Dear Axe (my dog), im sorry for using you as a tool to cut myself i thought that if i i'd play rough with you it would get to the point where i had so many inguries to my satisfaction, i guess it counts as playing with and using you. Ik your a dog but you dont deserve to be used as a tool for my own satisfaction. I know your a sweet dog and you dont mean to hurt anybody anf for me to use you as my own s/h device isnt okay. I promise I wouldent harm myself not get somebody else to do it. I knew nobody would be crazy enough to cut me and your just a dog. You dont/didnt know you were hurting me, and thats probally one of teh worst pain a person/dog can go through. I love you my baby, i promise i wont use you again i promise.
The reason a wrote this because recently ive been doing the same thing with my aunts dogs (im staying at her house for the month) and i honestly realized whta ive been doing. I feel HORRIBLE for doing that and now that im just now realizing i feel even worse. Ive been doing this since i found out her dogs nails havent been clipped in a long while. Like i said i feel HORRIBLE for using them as S/H tools- I promised my mom i wouldnet do it (She found out a few months ago) but i just cant help it ig- my scares have been healed for a while now and i hate to see them fading but at the same time i get joy from it- im tryign to stop i really am but me using animals is horrible. Im probally goign to do more updates of stuff from the past and possibly new stuff but ya- (ik there are MANY mistakes and i probally trailed off and missed alot but i'll be backk
steady gazelle
hidden lark