I have issues. To be completely honest, I'm scared of myself sometimes. I have suicidal ideations more than 10 times a day. I dont trust myself at all. So... I'm going to kill myself. Or rather, ATTEMPT to kill myself. I'm gonna go OD in the bathroom right before therapy, and then talk about how I want to kill myself to my therapist and all my shit. I'm gonna tell her that I'm currently ODing, and hopefully end up in a psych ward to get help. I seriously dont care at this point, and if it wasn't for this plan, I would be killing myself right fucking now. You might tell me "Oh, check into a psych ward yourself" and imma tell you this right now, I dont care what you say, I cant get in. This is canada, its harder to volentarily enter a psych ward as a minor than to get into harvard. The only way is to make an attempt, and I know this from experience. Lets hope this first time in a psych ward goes... well? So... dont worry if I dont talk for a while after wednesday/tuesday, cause... I'm gonna be in the hospital.
#I'm going to try to kill myself, to stop myself from doing it again.
gentle stirrup
wind oak
I have issues. To be completely honest, I'm scared of myself sometimes. I have s...
Please be safe I promised u I'll be safe u now have to promise me u will be safe idc if u dont know me I need u to promise me u will stay safe
wind oak
I really hope u do get help bud like u obviously are struggling and it's horrible ur having to do this to get help
Please don't go to far
gentle stirrup
I wont.. besides biphentin isn't usually lethal
and Ill get help within 20 minutes so..
wind oak
Can u please try and text me often so I make sure ur fine?
gentle stirrup
Uhh... ill try
But I'm gonna make the attempt tomorrow.. so...
kinda no point to check on me rn.
wind oak
I'll still be checking dw
gentle stirrup
Its kind of insane how hard I'm trying just to get into a psych ward
Cause.. Canada sucks at mental health care.
wind oak
Ik its horrible ur having to do this I rlly wish I could help like genuinely
gentle stirrup
I've come to terms with the fact that... this is the best solution for me.
They just honestly dont treat suicidal ideations, and they've legitametely let hundreds of people kill themselves by discharging them without admitting them. Its the reason that I have to do this.
gentle stirrup
Wth
My thoughts exactly.
They literally dont treat you if you dont actively make an attempt infront of them
wind oak
What's even the point of having them there then. That's genuinely messed right up
gentle stirrup
I dont even know.
Like legit if they dont admit me... I'm just gonna go kill myself. Ill tell them that too.
wind oak
Please don't I'll be here for u alr?
gentle stirrup
I wont as long as the hospital does their goddamn job
wind oak
I swear u can sue them for that
wind oak
Dw when ur older u can
gentle stirrup
(I gotta go do a few chores, gimme a few minutes.)
wind oak
(Alr dwdw)
warm steeple
heyy.
its horribly sad that youre feeling like this. :(
im not a professional, but i do want to help you. and i care about you, and everyone in this server.
talk to your therapist openly, just explain everything you said here, ig this is kinda serious.
please, do not self harm, youre still young, and you might just be struggling right now. there are a lot of people that prob cares about you, and please, do not self harm if they don't admit you. there are other ways and we can try looking for some.
ill send a pdf with alternatives to self harm too, just in case.
again, please do not harm yourself, your life does not depend on a nonfunctional hospital system
okay, my msg was getting automodded
gentle stirrup
They SHOULD admit me.
But if they dont goddamnit
I'm gonna go insane
not even kidding.
warm steeple
i still want you to live, so please do not attempt anything dangerous and be safe
agile basin
I know this may feel like the only way, golduck, but it’s not. of course, I can’t tell you to do anything, but I think it’s best to not do that. if you do end up doing it though, PLEASE be safe. My DMs are always open, okay?
gentle stirrup
I know this may feel like the only way, golduck, but it’s not. of course, I can’...
I will do it and be safe and tell my therapist im actively ODing. This is legit the only way to get in, unfortunately.
Ironically, (ATTEMPTING) to kill myself (for the second time, didnt tell the hospital the first time, whoopsies) Might be the best decision of my life.
So uh... yeah, big day tomorrow.
Its gonna be a long one.
wind oak
Its gonna be a long one.
Be safe please
gentle stirrup
Be safe please
As safe as attempting to OD so I can finally get into a psych ward can be, yes. I honestly think this is the right decision.
I cant wear long sleeves and pants forever goddamnit
wind oak
Please if u ever need ANYTHING just dm me
wind oak
Alr try sleep bud
somber vault
Hello, as a fellow Canadian. I hope your well
If its ok, can you private message me to see if your okay?
gentle stirrup
*I had fallen asleep lmao, its 3am.
wind oak
Lolll dwdw
gentle stirrup
Damn I'm like... kinda scared yet also... I dunno overwhelmed?
wind oak
Dw I'm here for u!
gentle stirrup
The real question is, whats gonna happen AFTER I OD and tell my therapist what I'm doing...
cause... ofc ill end up in the hospital.. and the psych ward bc its attempted suicide..
and thats where I hope to stay for a while.
wind oak
If they do nothing immediately call someone yk can help u