im going ||to kms||

[shut cave]

i have everything i need to end it

[rustic river]

No

Don't do it it's not worth it there are people that care for you please don't

[chilly plank]

please don’t do this man.

[shut cave]

i have the pain killers and everything bro

[chilly plank]

I understand the struggle

don’t do this man.

[rustic river]

And you still have a choice you need to get help I understand I have thought about it to but please there are people that care for you

[shut cave]

no one cares about me

[rustic river]

That's not true

[shut cave]

it is

my father and mother hate my whole family does to

[rustic river]

No it isn't please get help it's not worth it suicide is permanent solution to a temporary problem

[chilly plank]

I feel you. But im sure someone online will be your friend and care.

[rustic river]

Trust me it will get better

[chilly plank]

it can be hard

[rustic river]

Please talk to someone

It's not worth it call a help line please

[chilly plank]

988 if you live in the us

[shut cave]

https://tenor.com/view/depressed-sad-broken-lonely-gif-16814017

[rustic river]

Please don't do this

[crisp junco]

ALEX. alex. WE care

[rustic river]

You need help and that's ok but your not gonna find at the bottom of that pill bottle

Please man

We care about you

Theres nothing wrong with you DONT LISTEN TO THEM to who ever is making you feel like this there not worth it please man please

You ARE someone please don't take that away

[crisp junco]

alex. please talk to us. @shut cave

[rustic river]

Alex

Please

[shut cave]

i was just totally not cutting myself

[rustic river]

Dude please don't do this

[crisp junco]

alex, ive heard that drawing on your arms (or wherever you cut yourself) with marker (especially red marker) can fulfill the same urge as cutting yourself. please try this.

[rustic river]

Please trust me I know it's hard but don't do it

[shut cave]

i poured the bleach in a cup ima just drink it

[rustic river]

No

Please don't

[crisp junco]

Alex.

Please.

[shut cave]

https://tenor.com/view/heartbreak-love-im-ok-im-broken-not-okay-gif-17348819

[rustic river]

Please man

It's not worth it

Don't listen to whoever's making you feel this way

[shut cave]

it is

[rustic river]

No it isn't

You need to get help

Please

[shut cave]

he rapped me in front of him bro its worth it

[rustic river]

Please get help

I can't imagine what you've been through

But please

Get help

[crisp junco]

alex. please. can we please talk about this?

[rustic river]

Alex please don't do this

[chilly plank]

please Alex don’t do this

[rustic river]

please man

[crisp junco]

please.

[rustic river]

@shut cave

Please

[rustic river]

Alex?

[shut cave]

i was cleaning up my cuts

[rustic river]

Please don't do it

[crisp junco]

Please

Don't

[shut cave]

bruh

i was gonna drink the bleach

[crisp junco]

thank you for not doing so, alex

facing the world that has been so cruel to you is very brave

please take a look at the resources in #🆘｜crisis-help-channels, though. they could be extremely helpful for you.

[shut cave]

ima kms now

im done

[clear oar]

at this point

call 911or 988

[crisp junco]

HEY

ALEX

DONT

PLEASE

[shut cave]

why not

[crisp junco]

you said no one cares about you, but that's simply not true. we care about you. most of the people in this server can understand what you're going through, and some have overcome it. we can help you. you see that member count in the top left of your screen? thats 136 thousand people who can help you get through this.

[shut cave]

yeah ig

[cerulean jackal]

please don’t do this Alex. You deserve to live so fucking much. We are all here for you, to help you get better. Please, you deserve to be happy and live.

also, sorry for cursing, I forget if that’s against the rules, someone lmk if it is and I’ll happily edit the message

[crisp junco]

i don’t think so

[cerulean jackal]

okay good, lol

[cerulean jackal]

Alex. Are you there?

we care for you 🙂

[shut cave]

yeah

[cerulean jackal]

stay with us, okay? don’t leave to go do something else. could you do that for me, Alex?

[shut cave]

fine

[cerulean jackal]

thank you, Alex

you can get through this.

I believe in you.

WE believe in you.

how are you feeling as of right now?

[shut cave]

i feel ||fucked|| up

[cerulean jackal]

could you go into more detail, if that’s okay Alex? In what ways?

[shut cave]

like suicidal,more gay than ever,and depressed

[cerulean jackal]

okay. could you do something for me, Alex?

[shut cave]

yeah

[cerulean jackal]

get a piece of paper or go into notes, and write down all the reasons why you want to end it. all of them. then, once you’re done, tear apart that piece of paper and throw it away, or, if it’s notes on your phone, permanently delete it out of the app.

[shut cave]

why

?

[cerulean jackal]

it can help get your feelings out, at least temporarily

instead of keeping them bottled up.

[crisp junco]

many, many suicidal people have said that it helps

[cerulean jackal]

it helps me every now and then, try it 🙂

and then once you’re done, tell us if it helped at all

if not, we’ll give more ways to help 🙂

creepers, I may have to go soon, could you keep talking with Alex if I suddenly go offline?

[crisp junco]

absolutely

[cerulean jackal]

okay, thank you.

[crisp junco]

np

here's another one for you, alex: the next time you feel the urge to cut yourself (or now, if you have that urge), use a red marker instead.

[cerulean jackal]

yes, that’s a good one too Alex

[crisp junco]

Alex, are you still with us?

[shut cave]

yeah

[crisp junco]

Good

Did you try Potato's suggestion?

Alex?

[shut cave]

yeah it didnt do anything

[crisp junco]

Okay, do you have any urge to cut yourself right now?

[shut cave]

yeah

[crisp junco]

can you use a marker instead?

you can draw anything. it can look like a cut, or not. your choice

[shut cave]

nope

[crisp junco]

why not?

no access to markers?

[shut cave]

yeah

[crisp junco]

okay, what about pens? they dont even necessarily have to be red

[shut cave]

i dont

[marsh dagger]

What about like jam or something

[young quartz]

yo DO NOT do this man

[obtuse thicket]

Do you have access to a hotline or anything?

[young quartz]

perment solution to a tempary problem

please dont

please fucking dont

[crisp junco]

hey alex, i really need to sleep as it's nearly one o’clock A.M. in my time zone. ive asked the other fine people of this server to help you. please listen to them and stay alive ❤️

[marsh dagger]

U still there Alex?

[young quartz]

Alex? @shut cave

[marsh dagger]

@shut cave

[crisp junco]

Alex, please stay with us

[marsh dagger]

Please

[young quartz]

FUCK

ALEX

[obtuse thicket]

Ima ring him

[marsh dagger]

do that

[obtuse thicket]

nvm cant but I added him

[marsh dagger]

Can we find someone who can?

[obtuse thicket]

I have no mutuals

[marsh dagger]

Shit

[obtuse thicket]

I dont know what to do I literally dont have any ways of contacting anybody that could be helpful

[rustic river]

Alex please

Please don't

[marsh dagger]

He went silent we are trying to contact him

[rustic river]

FUCK

[obtuse thicket]

HE ACCEPTED

[rustic river]

Call him

[shut cave]

im here

[marsh dagger]

ALEX

[young quartz]

DOMT EVER SCARE US LIKE TRHAT AGIN

[rustic river]

Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems

[young quartz]

I said that

[marsh dagger]

BRO THAT WAS TERIFYING

[rustic river]

Please don't Alex we care for you

[marsh dagger]

Alex, have you tried to call one of the services in the help channel?

[obtuse thicket]

Alex its ok to ask for help we're here for you

[rustic river]

Alex?

[shut cave]

im still gonna drink bleach

[marsh dagger]

Alex no don’t

[rustic river]

No please

[marsh dagger]

We care, or at least try to call one of the helplines

[slender fox]

Hey

Alex

Nice to meet you

I know you can't type right now but I just want to say something. I understand you're going through a lot of pain right now. I won't tell you I understand, because I don't. But that's okay, your experiences and your feelings are valid. I don't want you to take your pain out on yourself, that's not fair to you and it just pushes you deeper down the hole. Despite how much you may have already done, I know you still want help. I can tell because I've been in a similar spot before. You reached out, you've stayed around this long. You want to be here. You feel comfort here. Embrace that for now.

[marsh dagger]

Just… try to listen?

[slender fox]

And please please reach out to someone you know or a crisis call or text line for help. You can be better, I know you want to be.

@shut cave ^

[shut cave]

ok

[slender fox]

Are you feeling safe?

[shut cave]

im here yeah but at home no

[marsh dagger]

Why not?

[slender fox]

I mean, as far as harm to yourself.

[rustic river]

Can you get somewhere safe Alex?

[shut cave]

i still want to but ill try not to

[cedar abyss]

i'm like not good with words, and it might sound dumb, but we do care about you
the amount of people who have reached out to help you here shows that

[slender fox]

Can you do something for me?

[shut cave]

my father has stabbed me before

[young quartz]

Wish the best. Keep HOPE. Im really hoping you make it through this man. I really do Alex

[shut cave]

yeah

[obtuse thicket]

can you call 911 at all?

[shut cave]

nope

[marsh dagger]

Reach out to someone. Ask for help. 911 or any other emergency service?

[slender fox]

Everyone calm

It's okay

Overloading them will not be helpful in a time where their mind is already racing with thoughts

Please, allow me

Thank you

[rustic river]

Im so sorry to hear that is there any chance you can get somewhere safe

[shut cave]

nope

[slender fox]

Can you gather all of the things you were using or might use to harm yourself and just put them in a small bin or a bag and put it somewhere out of reach of wherever you are?

[shut cave]

fine

[slender fox]

Don't ask for their location

[marsh dagger]

Ok sorry

I meant privately to you or another mod

[slender fox]

Perfect, let me know once you've done that please

[marsh dagger]

Mod

[shut cave]

ok

[shut cave]

wait what about the balistic knife can i keep that out

[slender fox]

Sharps especially should be kept away from your immediate surroundings. I think it would be best to include that in the other items that you're moving away from you

[shut cave]

ok

done

[slender fox]

Okay great. Thank you for doing that, that's very good. How do you feel right now?

[shut cave]

i feel very gay,depressed and a little more ||suicidal||

[slender fox]

Okay, it's okay. Don't forget being gay is not a bad thing :). Feeling depressed sounds very appropriate for what it sounds like that I've briefly seen you said you've been through. I'm so sorry those things happened. You don't and never have deserved those things, no one does. It's natural to feel this way given how you've been treated. Just know that it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. You are perfectly normal, despite what others may say or imply.

[uneven kernel]

I know how you are feeling right now and as someone who has struggled with mental health in the past, I can tell you you matter. As someone previously said, suicide is a permanent solution to a permanent problem but it won't help you. You have said previously that there is some domestic violence at home. Do you still go to school or somewhere where you feel safe enough?

[slender fox]

Make sense, yeah?

[shut cave]

yeah

[slender fox]

Tell me, what do you like to do in your free time and what kinds of things bring you some joy, even if it's not a lot? (I know depression can blunt your happiness and ability to enjoy things, and that's an understatement.)

[shut cave]

i like to produce music

[rustic river]

That's cool, what kind of music

[obtuse thicket]

Thats cool what software? :0

[slender fox]

That's awesome! (I don't know anyone that produces). I am also curious of the above questions ^^ 👀

[shut cave]

emo pop kinda deprerssing and stuff

[rustic river]

Cool

[shut cave]

what kind of questions

[obtuse thicket]

What software do you use? (or instruments)

[slender fox]

About what kind of music and what software

[shut cave]

i use suno to get beats and then i use other softwares to mix it up and then i record the vocals

[obtuse thicket]

Do you wanna share any of your songs

[shut cave]

sure

[rustic river]

Cool 😀

[shut cave]

it wont let me send it

[marsh dagger]

Maybe… send a link to a doc with the file?

[shut cave]

k

[slender fox]

Sounds like you're pretty skilled at that. How many songs have you made?

[shut cave]

like 6

[marsh dagger]

That’s great!

[obtuse thicket]

https://youtube.com/shorts/mjZGZkA-ySA?si=yzPdH3oG1NvcstlC
Alex made this ITS SO GOOD

[slender fox]

Wow, nice, impressive! How long do you typically make them to be? And do you find yourself sort of doing it spontaneously?

[shut cave]

like i work on them for like 6 hours each

[slender fox]

This sounds professional lowkey

Alex got some real talent here

[obtuse thicket]

Thats what Im saying I would genuinely have this on my playlists

[slender fox]

Beat is on point

And the vocal is so perfect

[shut cave]

thanks

[rustic river]

You've got some real talent

[marsh dagger]

It’s really good

[slender fox]

It's catchy

[shut cave]

thanks guys

[obtuse thicket]

Ofc :}

Did you post any more songs?

[rustic river]

I would put that on my playlist

[shut cave]

yeah

[obtuse thicket]

found it

[shut cave]

k

[obtuse thicket]

Theres so much emotion in these songs I love them sm

[marsh dagger]

I already did

[marsh dagger]

I agree

Alex, you should keep making these they are awesome

[shut cave]

thanks

[slender fox]

Do you like listening to music too?

[shut cave]

yeah

[obtuse thicket]

Ooh what artists?

[shut cave]

lil teccca,luice wrld,xxxtentacion,nirvana,suicide boys and more

[obtuse thicket]

I was just listening to juice wrld

[shut cave]

nice

[obtuse thicket]

You might like Josh A and Jake Hill

just theming

[shut cave]

k

guys

[obtuse thicket]

Sup

[shut cave]

i feel more attracted to men than usual is that bad

[obtuse thicket]

Nothing wrong with that :>

[rustic river]

No men are cool

[shut cave]

i mean a lot more than usual

like a lot

[obtuse thicket]

again there's nothing wrong with that

[rustic river]

No shame in that men are awesome sauce

[shut cave]

um guys somone sent me pic of there you know what should i do

[obtuse thicket]

do you know them?

[shut cave]

nope

[rustic river]

Block them?

[obtuse thicket]

are they from this server?

[shut cave]

idk

[obtuse thicket]

if u check mutuals and it says they are report it to contact mods

[shut cave]

they are

[rustic river]

Then report him

[shut cave]

ik

yeah

[obtuse thicket]

you should def open a ticket and report him

[rustic river]

What

[obtuse thicket]

PFFT 💀

[rustic river]

Uhhhh

[obtuse thicket]

yea def report his ass

[shut cave]

yeah

[obtuse thicket]

LMAO who says that 💀

[shut cave]

idk

yeah

[obtuse thicket]

I wouldn't know

[shut cave]

ive been traumatized from sex classes so yeah

i should know

[rustic river]

That's crazy though like who does that

[obtuse thicket]

I was forced into sex ed and it was miserable 🫠

[shut cave]

ik same

[obtuse thicket]

what an introduction tho like say hello first at least 😭

[shut cave]

nah they said this is what ||sex|| is

[rustic river]

Yeah you should report him

[shut cave]

ok

[obtuse thicket]

not just to this server just an actual discord report

[rustic river]

Yeah

[obtuse thicket]

thats freaky shit

[rustic river]

But this should be done first as discord will take a while and don't want him doing this to anyone else

[shut cave]

yeah

[compact lake]

block them and report them

[cerulean jackal]

@shut cave hey there, are you okay?

[clever narwhal]

😶‍🌫️

[dreamy aspen]

alex. everyone in this chat here is devoted to help you. we care about you and dont let anyone or your thoughts tell you otherwise. you are loved and cared about.

[marsh dagger]

He might be asleep. We don’t know what his time zone is

[crisp junco]

indeed

[obtuse thicket]

Alex is awake and alive

We’ve been talking for a bit

[rustic river]

Good

[crisp junco]

Awesome

[shut cave]

i feel more suicidal

[obtuse thicket]

Have you harmed yourself yet?

[rustic river]

We care for you Alex please don't hurt yourself

[shut cave]

thats it im done

im drinking the bleach im tired of saying im ok

[obtuse thicket]

Don't

Alex we don't expect you to be ok especially with what you've been telling us you've gone through

we're here for you and we don't want to see you dead

[rustic river]

I think he did it

[obtuse thicket]

He just messaged me

Hotlines didn’t help

[rustic river]

Well atleast he didn't do it but he made a different thing and said that he was gonna

[shut cave]

i almost did

until my friend stopped me

[rustic river]

Good, remember there are people who care for you we care for you

[obtuse thicket]

Good friend

[shut cave]

he rapped me

[obtuse thicket]

Nvm

[rustic river]

I cant even begin to imagine what you've been through but please talk to somebody about this suicide is not a good answer

[shut cave]

ive tried

[obtuse thicket]

Can you try another hotline

[shut cave]

ig

[obtuse thicket]

You only ever fail when you give up

Please keep trying

[rustic river]

Remember the most important step you can take is the next one

[shut cave]

i called they didnt answear

[obtuse thicket]

Could you try again tomorrow? Or try a different one?

[rustic river]

Weird? Call again maybe?

[shut cave]

k

[obtuse thicket]

Damn

[shut cave]

idk is cause im a femboy

[obtuse thicket]

Should def report them

Yuck

[slender fox]

Just a reminder that we should be staying appropriate in here and not bypassing AutoMod at all, I already redirected that here

[shut cave]

k

[shut cave]

k

[obtuse thicket]

Do you know any 24hr hotlines?

[shut cave]

nope

[slender fox]

We have lists in #🆘｜crisis-help-channels

[shut cave]

should i call 1 [phone]

[obtuse thicket]

Anything

[rustic river]

Theres a couple on there that you could call

[slender fox]

You can, I hear RAINN is very good

[shut cave]

k

they kinda did jack

[rustic river]

Is there anyone else you could talk to

[shut cave]

no

[rustic river]

What about here?

[shut cave]

ig

[crisp junco]

alex, this is a safe space. you can talk to us about anything.

[shut cave]

k