So I recently broke up with someone I wasn't with for really long but I knew him for a while. I broke up with him because he was low-key a bag of shit and guiltripped me and gaslit me at every minor inconvenience. I would try to talk to him about our relationship issues and he would start whining and say hes trying his best. I just wanted to be there for him and I wanted himlm to be there for me too but I couldn't take it anymore. Nothing was changing, he kept doing the things I asked him not to. I have PTSD and one of my triggers is like threatening ||suicide||, I don't think anybody wants to be in the position to have to save someone from ||suicide|| but I've literally had to call the police and family members on so many peopel growing up because they threatened to || commit suicide|| and I didnt take it lightly. Now when I'm in that position I start to freak out and cry and hyperventilate because it's just fucking scary honestly. He would say that he was gonna ||commit suicide|| almost everytime I told him he did someone that upset me. He used my trigger as a way to manipulate me into thinking he was doing better. So I broke up with him and he didn't take it well. He got angry and started coming at me aggressively. I ended up blocking him on everything except messages and Snapchat because hebroke his phone. It's been a week and I've still been dealing with him. I was playing a game called rec room today and I was in a map called tays singing stage. He's a host there but today I joined him(I had him blocked so it didn't really matter to me) and he waved at me (when you block someone they appear invisible but you can see their outline) which was weird. Then one of his friends came up to me like right in front of my screen and started repeating "is this the one -my exes name-" over and over again. Eventually I looked aty exes profile and saw that he's in another relationship just 7 days after we broke up. I literally lost my shit. I got off the game and texted my cousin, I cried really aggressively for about 15 minutes and then I was just fine. My nose literally wasnt even clogged. I felt like empty and hurt and confused. I never wanted things to go the way they did. I hoped that I could still help him and help him get better because he has mental health problems too and I just wanted him to be okay. I felt like my world just ended and I lost all hope I had for him. Now I'm really thinking about ||self harm|| after two years of being clean. It's just such a big urge right now and it's hard because I'm alone rn. My family is asleep and I feel like I'm drowning. This all probably seems serious and urgent but it's not. I'm not going to hurt myself I just needed to talk about it to get it out of my head.
#TW talk of self harm and relationship issues
kind sonnet
weary frigate
Hey, I feel you, I've been in the same position as you. All you can do is block everyone that's in contact with him and report him. And as for the SH, I've heard (not tried, but it has worked on other people) to draw red lines on your wrist to satisfy your craving of SH. If you wanna talk more, my dms are always open and I'll try to help
kind sonnet
Thank you sm, I guess I could have tried that lol but instead I took an edible and passed out 😆 but I appreciate you trying to help it means a lot :)