#Help! I want to understand my sexuality!

19 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

woven hazel
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Hi there! I have an issue. I need help understanding my sexuality. I think women are beautiful, but I have conflicted feelings towards them that I do not have with men. I would love some feedback here.

abstract umbra
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Well, do you see yourself wanting some form of love from women?
Whenever it is romantic, sexual, aesthetic, platonic, sensual or emotional otherwise?
Can you see yourself being with a woman in the future? Loving her, living with her, sharing living space with her etc? Ofc according her and your boundaries.

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I've learnt i can't read and you meant gender
I apologise

woven hazel
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So which one were you searching for? Sexuality, no?

woven hazel
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I am so used to trying to figure out my gender that typing "gender" is more of a habit for me than "sexuality".

woven hazel
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woven hazel
# abstract umbra Well, do you see yourself wanting some form of love from women? Whenever it is r...

I would love to be in a relationship with a woman. It is just that every single time I try to be in a relationship with a woman I end up feeling uncomfortable and uneasy around her. I even end up accidentally saying something inappropriate to her that absolutely ruins the relationship that I have tried to build up, which sucks because the last thing I want to do is make another woman uncomfortable especially since I am a trans woman who is currently still seen as a man. So I don't know what to do.

I think lesbian relationships are one of the most beautiful things in the entire world, as I find everything about a woman and being a woman as beautiful and special in their own right. It is just that I have such a visceral reaction to being with a woman that I kept thinking that I had to be attracted to men even though I don't feel that much towards men to the point that I have hated myself for being attracted to women. It got so bad that one of my irl friends (who is not a part of the LGBTQIA+ community but has a ton of family members that are) had noted that surely I can't be attracted to women. But my mind always comes back to women, whether it is to be one or to date one.

I just wish that I wasn't so uncomfortable and awkward around other women that I am interested in.

abstract umbra
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That's a tough position to be in for certain! And i might not be much help with such tbh, which i apologise in advance.

Could it be nervousness or something similar? Or social expectations in general? Could they subconsciously fuck up the mindset which makes you think that it's wrong etc?

Are you capable on "training" yourself to be less awkward and uncomfortable with women that interest you? Or maybe try giving a warning before hand! (Or just general speaking of it etc).

That's the most i can probably give on the subject for now, i hope ya luck with your problem!

woven hazel
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I don't know how to train myself though in order to be more comfortable with other women. Or else I would.

abstract umbra
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Valid and fair
I apologise, my brain isn't ticking bt this time anymore (4 am) I'll see if I can be more help in the morning! If i can't, we'll hope someone else can give an answer of some kind

woven hazel
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I hope you'll get answers while i sleep! Take care friend

pastel tartan
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I think that you just need time and experience to decide what your true preferences are

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For now my suggestion is to feel no shame in experimenting and not being tied down by a label

woven hazel
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I see. Well then, thank you for giving out your thoughts. I really appreciate it.

pastel tartan
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No problem! And just be authentic, even if you don’t know exactly what that means for you yet. Just be your truest self and look for the right person who accepts you for who you are. If you make mistakes along the way, that’s okay!