soft lava
So the first thing I'm struggling with is sexuality. Like a couple of days ago I thought I was bi. Because I like men, but I have strong feelings for a female friend and have for a while. But then, I don’t think I find anyone attractive. This has been something that’s been going on for a while. And I think it’s because I have homophobic parents, so I don’t know who I like and I don’t like when my friends make fun of me. Because I like both men and woman, but when I think over think about it, I only like men.
Second, Im female and Ive always used she/her pronouns. But recently, I haven’t cared about what pronouns people call me by. Like I don’t mind it and sometimes I prefer it. But this is mainly an online thing only. And like, I’m not sure what to call that, and if it’s rude in anyway.
Third, names. I don’t like being called by my first name, like birth name, by friends. But I don’t like being called by my nickname by people at school or family. And then like, I go by different names online.
Lastly, my homophobic parents. I dont know how to hide any of this from them. Because they used to go through my phone. And would be weird, like watch me close when I was around my female friends. And specially my mom, she would constantly ask me “do you like her?”, “are you two dating?”. And it would bother me, and even got to the point where I stopped hanging around anyone.
Sorry if this is a lot, but honestly there is more to this, I just had to summarize it to organize what I’m going through.😭💗
onyx hamlet
