Bullying

[mental dirge]

sometimes people start bullying me online and i always feel really bad afterwords. The problom is that i keep talking in stead of ignoring them idk why but i just make it worse.
Eaven if i block them i ALWAYS have the urge to know what they said eaven if i know it will hurt me. I just have to know. Anyone know how i can deal with this?

[silver pilot]

It happens to me too, some of my "friends" started bullying me after I told them that I'm bi and stuff and I just can't find a solution too

[sonic jewel]

Remember that they don't know you and that you are your own person. Don't let some random stranger look at your life and judge it off of a few facts. They've only talked to you. They don't know you. Stay away from labels as well, they come off as harsh, just ignore them. And remember that there is always someone out there that hopes you will do okay

And live to your fullest

[safe jungle]

Mh yea it’s not the easiest to fight against it but you can do it! Also as @sonic jewel (great advice btw) said don’t let them judge you or say something against you you’re great!

[mental dirge]

labels?

[weak tartan]

This problem is about boundaries and violations of boundaries.

Basically, you need to create clear boundaries for how you expect to be treated. Brainstorm and make a written list of what is not OK. Really explore what upsets and distresses you that they're doing, or you've experienced previously, and you'll find that it's really not OK stuff.

Next is the harder part: enforcing those boundaries. Don't escalate the interaction- it will only upset you more, feed the trolls, and make you look like the one at fault, especially if moderators are bigoted themselves (and often they are). Just report, block. And don't look back. Flush them and the situation down the toilet where it belongs.

If you aren't sure of how to set boundaries, there's a lot of books that can help you with it. Be careful to find a good book that vibes comfortably with you, and avoid toxic ones that throw the blame on you as the victim. (yeah, those books exist- they're usually from codependent issues recovery therapists and can do more emotional harm than good) Go for a positive one.

Boundary making and enforcement is a difficult thing to do, but it's critical for your long term safety and wellbeing.

You've got this! 💪