Mental Health Deterioration

[wicked hemlock]

Hi guys, I have helped people in these threads before, but the past couple weeks I wasn’t able to since my own mental health took a toll for the worst, I have asked friends for advice but nothing has worked long term. I’ll give an oversee able list so my long text is not too cluttered.

• Depression: I have been feeling quite depressed lately, the only things distracting me being my friends who often don’t hang out with me and my girlfriend who is also struggling with her issues.

• bad thoughts: basically, when I am left alone for too long. Because my brain is constantly thinking it starts to dwell on the depression, basically making a negative feedback loop where I just wonder if it is even worth existing and that kind of stuff.

• loneliness: I struggle with this a lot. I always ask my friends to hang out with me, but they never ask me if I wanna hang out with them. They are often busy but even in their free time, nobody checks up on me. Often giving me the feeling of: “you are just on your own. Deal with it.”

These are the main 3 points, I don’t really wanna talk about my trauma as I have very bad trust issues, but I hope someone can give me some advice or hang out with me sometime.

[dry egret]

Seriously I cannot stress this enough if you can afford and it is possible for you to get professional help, please do. If you can’t afford that if you are currently at a school please talk to some sort of counselor

If not talk to someone with experience going through these kinds of things

and I’m sorry your going through this stuff

[wicked hemlock]

No thanks.. don’t want my parents to maybe get involved with this.

T wT

[wicked hemlock]

Yeah thanks.

[dry egret]

If you need to talk to anyone js dm me

Or anyone else u trust. Just don’t bottle up ur emotions

That is like the worst thing you can do

[wicked hemlock]

Yeah well if your moment of vulnerability has been used to make you look bad infront of others in the past. It’s hard to trust anyone.

[dry egret]

What kinda asshat gets someones trust and just make fun of them infront of people

[wicked hemlock]

Well, one of my old friends did..

[dry egret]

R u okay?

[wicked hemlock]

No?

[dry egret]

I shoulda expected that

🤦‍♂️

[wicked hemlock]

Not to be rude but.. kinda a dumb question.

[dry egret]

Ik my bad

I just instinctively ask that anytime anything bad happens to someone

[wicked hemlock]

well, it’s a good trait to have

[dry egret]

Well hopefully shit gets better

Just cut off all ur bad friends

[wicked hemlock]

Doubt it, unless I find people who actually show they care about me

Only person that does is my girlfriend.

for the rest. Nobody

@dry egret so yeah

[dry egret]

damn

Js message people on dc ig

[dry egret]

Ik atleast one person on this server has to care about you

Even if just a tiny bit

[strong veldt]

Tysm for helping others firstly ur so kind and

1. depression I’m sorry for that have u tried like doing stuff like an hobby? Doing something get often help
2. bad tought tbh I feel the same but I just do as said In the first point and just talk to ur gf or talk to @dry egret
3. loneliness I understand why this makes u struggle but it’s not that they don’t care they just think ur doing good or anything rlly also u can’t expect them to like always ask but yea Ik what I mean they should ask sometimes bla bla bla yap yap yap yea I’m saying to much and yea man take care of ur gf and have a good day

[wicked hemlock]

Alright.

[strong veldt]

Also how are you doing?

[wicked hemlock]

Just woke up from a rough dream.

[strong veldt]

Oh sorry to hear what was it Abt?

[wicked hemlock]

Basically, was on a vacation in Austria with my family, then
They pressured me to use some weird hot air balloon contraption, and because I did not know what I was doing I crashed multiple times, lost multiple be,o going’s and they were very disappointed. The last part was the worst..

[strong veldt]

Oh

[strong veldt]

Sorry for u to hear that

[wicked hemlock]

Eh, I mostly got used to it, they are disappointed no matter what I do.

[wicked hemlock]

I usually just have to make the best of it.

[strong veldt]

Well that’s sad do u know why they always are?

[strong veldt]

Then take care of urself or idk

[wicked hemlock]

I never manage to meet their expectations

[strong veldt]

So In other words u can’t match ur expectations? And theirs

[wicked hemlock]

They always tell me to do something, then I end up failing due to my attention deficit disorder and then they say they are disappointed

[wicked hemlock]

I guess.

Then again I don’t know how I am supposed to meet their expectations

[strong veldt]

And do u hate getting it said to u? Like that there disappointed u?

[strong veldt]

Do u think u can in any way reach what they want?

[wicked hemlock]

Yeah, it’s because of the trauma they caused that it affects me so much.

[strong veldt]

Ik.

[wicked hemlock]

I’d need to somehow be able to focus for up to an hour without meds.

[strong veldt]

How long can u concentrate?

Without them usally

[wicked hemlock]

4-10 minutes on something with very low stimulation

[strong veldt]

Oh.. what happens after these 4-10 min

[wicked hemlock]

I just switch to doing anything else.

[strong veldt]

What do u usally do?

[wicked hemlock]

Either I play a game, (try to) talk to friends, or just go on character ai to beat up the bots.

[strong veldt]

lol

[strong veldt]

Have u tried making like 2 min break? And then doing idk things again?

[wicked hemlock]

My brain is usually too fried from incentives by then

[strong veldt]

Oof.. well then it’s not ur bad that u can’t match their expectations

[wicked hemlock]

Yeah..

[strong veldt]

So u still give urself the fault?

[wicked hemlock]

Well they traumatized me into never talking back to them and following their orders when I was still young.

[strong veldt]

Oh.. so u can’t rlly do anything against it?

[wicked hemlock]

Yup. All I can do is distance myself from them.

[strong veldt]

Which you are already doing

[wicked hemlock]

Yup

I stay away from them for most of the day

And since they are on vacation rn

All of the day

Only issue is my sister.

@strong veldt so yeah

[strong veldt]

Why

[wicked hemlock]

She is like a double edged sword, the one moment she understands me a little bit, even though I never tell her how I actually am. And the next she basically sides with my parent.

@strong veldt hope that answers it.

[strong veldt]

It does a little also I’m sorry for not answering quick

[strong veldt]

Why is she an issue when she understands u a little tho?

[wicked hemlock]

Because sometimes she uses what I tell her against me by telling my parents.

[strong veldt]

Why do u tell her stuf?

[wicked hemlock]

I stopped a while ago

[strong veldt]

Nice

[wicked hemlock]

Yeah

[strong veldt]

Ok

[wicked hemlock]

Idk what else we can discuss.

[strong veldt]

Same

[wicked hemlock]

Ima go for a walk.