So recently, I've been thinking. Thinking too much. I've gotten myself into a state of self hatred again, self harm is a thing I've done recently, I've also been having suicidal thoughts. I've previously attempted twice. Once via OD and Once by Cutting. This is a result of a nasty previous home life, my dad, my school life and not feeling safe. I'm in Counselling but I don't open up. I don't feel safe I feel they'll just rat me. They always do. My dad previously abused me and I've come to blaming myself for him being kicked out, his alcoholism, everything wrong with him. I don't really know why I've come to this but I keep impulsively blaming myself. My dad is a Christian and I suspect homophobic or transphobic. I'm a Femboy and I've been involuntarily found out by my parents. They keep invading my privacy and I've installed a lock due to this. However it only locks from the inside. So when I go out my room is went through. I don't like it, I hate it. I've told them but they've ignored me I'm also being constantly harassed and I no longer feel safe. Whether I'm school, home, public or even 100 miles away. I feel like someone is watching me. My school keeps convincing me I'm a terrible person for merely standing up for myself, I'm near expulsion. I don't know what I'll do if I get expelled. I have these weird feelings that my family and the people closest to me hate me and hope for my downfall. I've got 2 exes, my first one made me forcefully do what he wanted (I'm not getting into that), my second one abandoned me after doing the exact same thing. They both kept talking of doing horrible things to me and made things up about me. I'm getting overwhelmed by everything. Those thoughts are coming back. I need advice or help or something.
#[TW - Mentions of SH, Sui T / Sui A, Abuse, SA, ] Just Venting
wintry grail
loud heart
So recently, I've been thinking. Thinking too much. I've gotten myself into a st...
I might not be able to offer much advice as I have near zero experience in any of this but If you have close friends or family maybe go to them with your concerns. Alternatively find a good place to hide those things from anyone else
wintry grail
I might not be able to offer much advice as I have near zero experience in any o...
I mean i've got a weird box
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Is there any secret spots around ur house?
Like an attic or a crack in the floor or smth
wintry grail
Like an attic or a crack in the floor or smth
Attic is being cleared out, floors are carpeted.
except for one board
wintry grail
Does that box u talked about have a lock atleast
nope
I might buy a small safe
for money n stuff
shit'll run me alot
wintry grail
coded safe
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Oh hell yeah
wintry grail
I aint leaving no keys for they ass to copy
there is one which needs both a key and a code
ima get that
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Make it like a 5 digit code
And make sure you don’t open it around them or when their home
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A book safe would be a good idea
wintry grail
cheap
no key
code only
it can fit quite a bit
fits in an amazon locker
I have found myself a fucking safe 🔥
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