#Need help as coming out as trans

54 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

plain matrix
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I’ve been trans since I was 8 but probably my whole life (I didn’t know anything about the amazing lgbtq community until I was 8) and im planning on coming out to my parents soon.. i just dont know how. I know they will accept me, they are very supportive of the lgbtq community but it’s awkward to talk to them about that, and im just worried about how they would react. Even though i 100% know theh support the lgbtq community. I dont think i would ever be able to come out in person, and if I were to come out, it would be to my mom and i would let her tell my dad. Basically, how wouls I tell them? I was thinking over text but what would I say?

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for more context, im trans mtf, 14 years old and lesbian i think, idrk yet

oak haven
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I would wait for the perfect time to come out

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You don't need to tell them at the same time so you can tell(ex:) your mom that your trans and then a couple days later you can tell ur dad

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But I definitely wouldn't force it

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Hope that helps

plain matrix
plain matrix
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someone in my family ig

oak haven
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Well this is probably not what you were going to do but I definitely wouldn't recommend just randomly telling your family "hey Im trans" when you guys are trying to figure out what you're going to eat

rose narwhal
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I think maybe, like, try to hint at being trans in conversations or subtle ways, so that it's not as awkward when you do actually come out. You can also try being more openly feminine around your parents, and just let them find out that way.

One way I hint at my queerness to my friends a lot (that may work for you) is to bake it into jokes. Many of my friends themselves are queer/genderqueer/support the Alphabet Mafia, and whenever something comes up I'll usually chime in with things like "relatable" or "honestly me fr", giving them little hints that I am also very much not straight.

Sometimes though you just gotta rip the bandaid off and tell them, esp if you alr know they're gonna be supportive. Don't make too much of a big deal about it, bring it up casually in a conversation where you think it'll fit.

Gl

plain matrix
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rose narwhal
# plain matrix ty for the help! I think I would rather do it by texting because sometimes im s...

Ah okay.
By being more femme I kinda meant like to present more femme (i assumed ur not femme presenting around ur parents) around them, and just let them figure it out.

Some of the slightly more subtle ways i can think of being feminine are things like piercings, growing your hair out, using makeup, or wearing more jewelry and stuff. Ofc dressing femme is also an option, but that's a lot less subtle obv.

plain matrix
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I have long hair already

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I dont have jewelry but I love it… and yeah, I only dress feminine when im alone and sometimes I sleep in feminine clothes because night is the only time I get to be me. But im also sleep deprived because of it. I haven’t gone to sleep in 2 days straight and im just always stressed about being trans and I cant ever sleep

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I was super depressed but idk why but im not anymore

rose narwhal
plain matrix
plain matrix
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would you suggest I text them or say it in person

rose narwhal
rose narwhal
# plain matrix would you suggest I text them or say it in person

That entirely depends on personal preference honestly, and how you want to convey the information.
The thing with telling them verbally is that bc it's a conversation you won't get to say everything you want. Talking can get cut off and conversations can be steered in the wrong direction, but that can't happen over text.

Though over text then you can't see their reactions, which you may (or may not) want to see.

plain matrix
plain matrix
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I also just feel bad because my grandparents always wanted sons but they had 2 daughters, so then they were super excited that they have a grandson (me) (now granddaughter) I feel like I let them down by being trans

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would you recommend that I should tell my parents soon rather than later

rose narwhal
plain matrix
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how soon? Im just scared and i feel like something will go wrong even though I know it wont

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I need someone to tell me to just do it… otherwise I probably would chicken out

rose narwhal
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I'd suggest to not wait too much, do it somewhere in the next couple days

plain matrix
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rose narwhal
# plain matrix okay…

I understand that you probably don't want to and are neevous about it, but since I'm removed from the situation I can also see that it's really best if you don't wait too long.

plain matrix
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tysm for helping!!

rose narwhal
elder minnow
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elder minnow
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oh lol

vale obsidian
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what specific is happening in 2 days (/j)

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good luck!

plain matrix
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i got my friend to force me to come out in 2 days

vale obsidian
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elder minnow
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How did it go?

plain matrix
elder minnow
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...

plain matrix
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