I don't want to accept my asexuality... I'm lost.

[nocturne junco]

Well, I'm a bit lost... I've been feeling bad for a long time, depression, anxiety, eating disorder in short and recently I finally found someone who helps me feel better, he is now my boyfriend. but in life I was never really interested in having a boyfriend but hey it fell into my lap so I took the opportunity. but I realized that I was asexual and I started to feel weird, like I wasn't normal, I thought to myself, damn I have a problem. I told my boyfriend and he cried, it touched him so much, I don't think he was happy to hear it. So I felt bad, plus he kept telling me for weeks that maybe it was because I was depressed and that afterwards I would be "normal". I felt physically attacked by him several times but at the time I didn't dare tell him because I told myself that any normal person wouldn't have refused when I was just in pain. but I'm fed up I need to know, it's so complicated to be asexual with a boyfriend who always wants to go further. I really don't want to lose him but at the same time I feel like he's fed up with my asexuality and I don't know what to do so I don't say anything to him anymore even when I want to refuse I don't say anything anymore and I don't want to suffer so I don't know what to do... Do you have any advice for me ..please it's so hard to live

[snow stump]

Hiya I can understand how hard that can be for you, But maybe that person is not the right one someone that truly loves you and cares for you would accept it, Have you tried talking about it with him ?

[nocturne junco]

Hi ! Yes, I tried to talk to him, but I don't know, I feel like it's weird. In any case, talking to him doesn't do much good on this point. But I really love him, He's the only one who knows that I don't feel mentally well he really supports me even if it's not necessarily the right way to do it. but I don't really know what to do, I'm too lost

[snow stump]

Yeah that's pretty annoying maybe you can find someone else that you can open up to just as a friend so this is not the only person that can "help" you, I'm sure that could help you a lot but as always it's up to you

[nocturne junco]

Yes, I will think about that, I just tried to talk to him first because I'm having a lot of trouble, I have trouble opening up to other people... thanks for answering Sorry if I don't speak English well..

[snow stump]

Don't worry I haven't noticed I'm not native too I wish you the best and I'm still there if you have other questions

[nocturne junco]

Thank u so much, I wish you the best too

[peak kettle]

If you don't want to go further, please say no and stand your ground. I have been in the same situation. I even started saying no and they just keep nagging me until I said yes, even if it was just to make them stop. So, I can understand how it feels. Don't do that to yourself, please.

I am sure there are people out there that can understand it (maybe another ace person). But if he cannot understand and respect that, it is not someone you should stay with.