#Vent? Idk what to call this-

56 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

sand nymph
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I wanna just like talk abt something that happened to me w/ someone (tw: sexual harassment)
So like I had met someone and this isn’t her real name, she went by it online too, Bree.
She’s trans, mtf-
She’s kinda been just on my brain a lot lately even though this has been foreeever ago (actually no it’s been a few months)

She’d always bully me and find ways to put me down yknow? Like insult my art, cuss at me, and since I had literally the biggest fattest crush I stayed cause she’s perfect in every way <3
And then like I know I’m stubborn and won’t give up tryna be with someone cause I’m stupid stubborn- but the thing was she kept saying she didn’t like me like that then start being sexual towards me and giving me very mixed messages ;-;
And every call she’d be uhhh messing with herself- EVERY CALL. And one time she had asked to see me doing it and I kept refusing in the best way I could like “no the lights off, no I’m laying in bed, I don’t wanna get up..” etc. but she kept insisting
She came over once and kept insisting to make out and I’m like 5”2 while she’s towering over me and she got me into a corner in my room, kept persisting we make out no matter how many times I denied it

south gulch
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Dang, I’m really sorry to hear that. People unfortunately can be real assholes sometimes and I’m sorry you had to experience one like that. I guess all I can say is, it’s hopefully over now (it sounds like you’ve managed to stay apart for a bit). I’m always here if you need to talk more about this.

sand nymph
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Thank you- I did manage to get away from her and I’m still tryna find everything I friended her on and get rid of her
But thank goodness my friend got me away from her (my friend became my girlfriend actually hELP)

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There was a lot more to this than I said but I’ll take questions, it’s just a lot to talk about

south gulch
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That’s understandable, I glad you had a friend who could assist you

sand nymph
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It took me forever and now she’s still seeing the damage of around a years worth of Bree

gusty mulch
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That's absolutely fucked that she took advantage of you like that and reading that pissed me off a little

south gulch
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I can try to imagine (I’m not gonna pretend that I can) that some like that would still affect you now.

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Again, I’m so sorry this happened to you

gusty mulch
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I'm not all that knowledgeable about codependency, but from the little information I was provided I want to say you might exhibit some codependent tendencies so it might be worth researching that

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Because, although you did not deserve what happened to you and it should not have happened, I'm surprised you stayed with her after the way she treated you

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Try to learn to be angry when somebody clearly oversteps boundarys of basic human decency

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That's my two cents

sand nymph
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No, I did find out I am super codependent a bit before I actually left her and- that is something I’m gonna have to figure out how to deal with
And I just for the anger thing, being angry isn’t something I can really do unless something seriously pisses me off.

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When I finally left her, she managed to insult me and find her being a sexual harasser funny like-? And then she decided to block me first and I tried to go about it in a nice way but she just made me super pissed after

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I love narcissistic, manipulative, sexual harassers <3 /J

gusty mulch
# sand nymph No, I did find out I am super codependent a bit before I actually left her and- ...

It's okay that you have a nonviolent nature, but it should "seriously piss you off" when she insults your art or cusses at you for example. I hope you know I'm not blaming you for what happened, but it sounds like you might not respect yourself enough to allow yourself to be angry when she acted that way. Self-respect is a learned trait, so be patient with yourself but do some self-examination to find out why you allowed yourself to be treated that way and only felt anger after the fact. I'm also in the middle of a lifelong journey to respect myself more.

sand nymph
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I’m just not that angry for anything and like art is subjective so it to me is you don’t like it okay whatever- it did end up wearing on me though
I’m not sure how to start respecting myself tbh cause I feel like I’m just useless most the time and don’t do much of anything.

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I hope you’re able to get the self respect you’re looking for!

gusty mulch
gusty mulch
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Keep that in mind, and the next time somebody insults your art or anything else about you, I'd just look them in the eye and ask them "What the fuck is wrong with you?", and keep asking them until you get a genuine answer or apology if they try to dodge the question.

sand nymph
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I’m too passive to do that or think about doing that cause I don’t wanna start anything

gusty mulch
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I understand

sand nymph
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And here’s something I know is kind of bad but sometimes I really wanna go back and talk to her again and keep up a relationship and just go back

gusty mulch
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I understand that too

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I think the bottom line is you need to become comfortable in your own skin. I could go on and on because this is such a complex and multifaceted topic, but I'm going to stop here

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Good luck

sand nymph
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I wanna be more comfortable in my own skin but I want out of my own skin so bad cause I always gotta put up a fake me and eventually it just turns into a “me” cocoon

gusty mulch
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Interesting

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But I can't say I understand what you mean

sand nymph
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Sorry </3 I’m bad at explaining-

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The one time Bree was over repetitively asking to make out when she got me into that corner I was like backed up against my closest door-ish? And she asked if she could feel my hand and I was a little freaked out but let her and she just like- examined my hand

gusty mulch
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Huh

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I'm not defending her actions because she should have clearly seen that you were uncomfortable but tbh examining my girlfriend's hand seems like something I would do so that's not totally weird at least

sand nymph
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She did not take hints apparently- and was super pushy abt stuff

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But as long as you’re cool with what you do and your partner, hooray!

gusty mulch
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She sounds like somebody who shouldn't even be in a relationship since she can't seem to respect boundaries

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Think about that whenever you feel like going back

sand nymph
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She managed to keep a girlfriend for I wanna say less than a month before she ended all contact from what I’m aware of

gusty mulch
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Yah that tracks

sand nymph
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The girlfriend ended all contact-

gusty mulch
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As she should have

sand nymph
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On calls she’d always get off and she always said she loved my voice and I already hated my voice so it felt good but now it just- it just makes me feel sick when people say they like my voice

gusty mulch
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I feel like somebody getting off to my voice would make me feel uncomfortable lol

sand nymph
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And I liked her in a romantic way so her being like “I don’t like you like that” was a massive hit to me and then her turning around and saying how she loved me

gusty mulch
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Just be aware of those behaviors so you can spot them in future relationships and confront them or end the relationship if necessary

sand nymph
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Yeah, definitely I’ll be aware of them next time

gusty mulch
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that's the beauty of failed relationships

sand nymph
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And a large majority of the messages she sent were sexual
I saved a few messages between me and her

gusty mulch
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Seems like she didn't care all that much about you tbh

sand nymph
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She really didn’t- if you wanna see the messages I can dm you but some of them are really gross

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And what I hate is I went along with what she was doing or saying cause I liked her and thought it was okay even though it was uncomfortable

gusty mulch
gusty mulch
sand nymph