#am i the villain i make myself out to be?

14 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

knotty wing
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i wont offer much, just enough for you readers to understand and offer advice.

basically, i have really bad task paralysis and a REALLY bad habit of shutting down when stuff gets hard, and it's getting worse. that on top of some other issues that make it feel insanely difficult to do even the most basic tasks.

my parents require so little of me realistically (im 18 and still with them rn), they want some chores and for me to look for jobs. i have a thing lined up so that bit is fine, but it feels so horrible. ive struggled for so long but they dont feel like they should have to lend me a helping hand or emotional support because ohhh im an adult now so i need to be all self-sufficient and it's micromanagement to ask for help, even if i cant seem to do even the most basic shit.

they said they've told people how i act and how im so ungrateful for what i have and that i just wanna mooch off them and they've all said to kick me tf out, and it feels so horrible. like ive failed as a person and need to just try harder. but i really do try and just end up shutting down again and hating myself for it. i honestly don't know what to do anymore, but that's not what im here for.

from their pov, im ungrateful, i want to mooch and not do work for the things i want, and i take it out on everyone by being mean.

from my pov, im fucking struggling a lot. but i dont know if it's valid or if it's just me being unwilling to change. i hate myself, im depressed, i have crippling adhd, and i think some heavy anxiety, but it gets warded off by emotional shutdowns.

more details in dms if needed.

am i the villain?

lusty skiff
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im sorry that your in that situation. have you tried to talk to them about your problems?

dusty crane
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I'm in the exact same boat, but 5 years older and still stuck here. Nothing will get better if you don't talk to them about it.

knotty wing
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i have tried, and they're not receptive to it at all, hence why i put their pov

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they've struggled with worse and made it through, so me struggling with so little is pathetic to them.

and to me.

fallen sky
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you're not the villan at all. some peopel refuse to understand stuggles they cannot see and understand and there is simply nothing you can do to fix that

lusty skiff
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i... dont have any more advice sorry im really not good with this stuff. but wish you the best❤️

knotty wing
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probably also worth mentioning they only love me as much as i make them. they literally said their love is earned materially and hold how much they provide for us over our heads like every time we object to something 💔

knotty wing
lusty skiff
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your not in the wrong dw. thats not ok what your parents are doing.

knotty wing
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ik they dont tell the full story but it feels like total shit to know people think im just some ungrateful freeloader piece of shit.

lusty skiff
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well thats just straight up wrong. your parents and trying to make you look like a piece of shit when you need help. its very wrong in many diffrent ways.

dusty crane
knotty wing
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thank yall so much, it means a lot to have some positive voices on my side