{TW Suicide, I promise ain't deep} I wanna kill myself

[surreal hollow]

I can't take shit no more. Everything I do is apparently wrong, and I just fail to my parents. I only do nothing but play Minecraft and Marvel Rivals and don't enjoy life.

I am constantly just forcing myself to throw up every meal I eat because I hate how my fatass looks.

I just can't take it anymore.

I'm also starting to cut myself more and more on my thighs

[tepid rock]

I wish I could say things can just get better and there’s some magical cure but it sadly isn’t that simple. What I will say is that so long as you live, there exists a chance, however minute, for things to get better. If you stop and can’t go back, you only have to options, change or push forward. What will change when ending it that is better than the chance for things to get better. It may be a slow process, but better a slow process over no process.

[lament trail]

What do you mean by ' you fail ur parents' I bet they love you, and would be devastated if u committed. Playing video games as a coping method is completely legit and viable! If it helps you, there's no need to stop. Not eating is also not a solution for weight loss. You will have to exercise, and eat healthy, not just not eating at all. I have a similar issue with my weight. Doctor said I'm 50th percentile, and average, but I feel fat. We can do an eating/exercise calendar together? Also cutting yourself won't help, and the earlier you stop, the better. Please don't commit, there are always people who love u, and will be devastated. Lmk if u wanna do the calendar together! :33

[potent nest]

{TW Suicide} I wanna kill myself

[surreal hollow]

They are better off without me

I swear

[lament trail]

Well I'm not

I want you to live. Think of classmates at school. U might not know them well, but it will still hurt them

[surreal hollow]

I'm sorry but fuck them. They hurt me

[tepid rock]

At the end of the matter, so what. Live for what life has to bring you, not others.

[surreal hollow]

Life has brung me straight nothing but hate

[lament trail]

Well, think of the positives!

Feelings of accomplishment after turning in a big project, leaving school after a tough day, the feeling of waking up on the weekends, there's so much to love.

[tepid rock]

Circumstances can change m, and so will the events they bring. Where you live, who you live with, what happens around you, all of that can change. Especially if you are still a child and are limited by not being an adult, while it may be somewhat of a waiting game, very dramatic changes have yet to happen.

[surreal hollow]

It don't have that feeling though

[tepid rock]

That may not sound satisfying immediately, but think of it like a long term treatment, it takes time to occur.

[lament trail]

J Is right

[surreal hollow]

Know what I am tired this shit. I'm impatient. I'm done with life. I'm sorry.

[tepid rock]

I’m sorry things got to be too much, but just know this, you don’t have to be sorry for the suffering you experience.

[surreal hollow]

Is an extension cord taped on walls strong enough?

[tepid rock]

Not the tape, no.

[surreal hollow]

Nevermind I figured it out,

FUCK

That's all I had

[lament trail]

@surreal hollow PLEASEE don't commit 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺

[surreal hollow]

Well be glad Ig because that's the only shit I got. My dumbass just thought it would work and it didn't

[tepid rock]

I must ask, have you ever talked to someone actually educated in helping with things like this?

[surreal hollow]

yeah... i do every wenesday

[lament trail]

Have u told them about this?

[tepid rock]

Like a full on therapist?

[surreal hollow]

Absolutely not

[surreal hollow]

yes.

[lament trail]

Why not?????

[surreal hollow]

i dont want them to worry

[lament trail]

That's the entire point of having a therapist. To have someone to tell about stuff

[tepid rock]

You literally pay them to worry

[lament trail]

Lowk it's kinda their job

[surreal hollow]

i know i seem stupid

but like... they can't care that much, rihgt?

[lament trail]

THEY DO CARE

THEY WOULDNT BECOME THERAPIST IF THEY DIDNT WANT TO HELP

PLEASE TELL THEM

[tepid rock]

Then try. Tell them, and see for yourself how they react.

[lament trail]

ugh sorry for yellingg

[tepid rock]

This is a predetermined conclusion

[surreal hollow]

im sorry

i dont know what to do

im scared. people just call me an irrational 14 year old kid

[lament trail]

I always stressed when people say things about ||sh or suicide||

[surreal hollow]

i lost hoped

[lament trail]

They won't. Promise

[surreal hollow]

my shit ain't valid dawg

[tepid rock]

You have no reason to be sorry. I should be the one saying sorry, for not being able to assist you more.

[lament trail]

🥺

[surreal hollow]

i should be sorry

i fuck up everything in my life

[lament trail]

Stop worrying each other😭

Worrying*

Sorrying***

Fukin autocorrect

[tepid rock]

Took you a while…

[surreal hollow]

😂

[lament trail]

YEAAAAA👍 👍

[surreal hollow]

huh? did i do somethin right?

[lament trail]

Happyyyyyyyyyy. Laughing is the best medicine

[surreal hollow]

or wrong?

[lament trail]

U laugh

That good

[surreal hollow]

ig thats true. i haven't laugh in a whi;e

[lament trail]

That means that you CAN feel happy. Now when ur sad think of other times like this

To cheer you up 😁

[surreal hollow]

what's tw stand for?

[lament trail]

☺️☺️

[lament trail]

?

[tepid rock]

Trigger warning I think?

[lament trail]

Yeah

[surreal hollow]

{TW Suicide, I promise ain't deep} I wanna kill myself

[lament trail]

Why not deep?

This is serious yk

[surreal hollow]

I feel like people have it worse compared to me

I don't want people clicking on this

I just fucking attempted suicide 5 minutes ago

[lament trail]

It doesn't mean that people shouldn't be helping you.

[lament trail]

That's what I mean. This is VERY serious

Sweety u need a hug 😥 🫂

[tepid rock]

What if I told you that half of the threads here are the exact same thing with people thinking that exact same worry?

[lament trail]

Yh

And people always put their problems below others

[surreal hollow]

i kinda do fr 😭

[lament trail]

Just because u think urs is less serious doesn't mean it is, and even so, it still matters a ton, and u deserve people's time

[tepid rock]

Hugs!🫂

[lament trail]

I'm not leaving until u tell me to with good reason, or I can trust that u won't try to commit the second j and i leave

[surreal hollow]

i'll play games all night

in vc

[lament trail]

If playing games will make u not commit, then do it!

If it is good coping method, there's no reason not to!

[surreal hollow]

i mean yeah

[lament trail]

Have fun!

Try not to rage

[surreal hollow]

I just feel lonely bro 😭

That's why I said in VC

[lament trail]

I might be able to play games with you later!

[surreal hollow]

I mean what games you play?

[tepid rock]

You aren’t alone in feeling that.

[tepid rock]

Did you say you play Minecraft?

[surreal hollow]

Yeah. I am a unnofficial contributor for Oreville Studios, so I play a lot to test bugs

[tepid rock]

What’s Oreville Studios?

[surreal hollow]

Have you heard of the Pack, Actions and Stuff?

[tepid rock]

I don’t think so, I’m honestly sorta a vanilla player…

[surreal hollow]

Ah. well it animates all mobs, players, 3d items when you hold them, first person animations, easter eggs, props and more!

[lament trail]

Idk

Whatever u wanna play

[tepid rock]

Hmm, interesting

[surreal hollow]

And I contribute by testing bugs, making suggestions, moderate channels and more! I am building a reputation so when I hit 18, they will hire me! I am severely known in the community,

[tepid rock]

See, there’s some ways to improve the future right there!

[lament trail]

See? More reason to not commit. Many many people will be sad and affected

[surreal hollow]

i guess.

[lament trail]

U better ;3

[surreal hollow]

i am important in the community...

i am even in the Actions and Stuff 100K subscriber special at 1:42

[tepid rock]

I unfortunately gotta go but keep me updated if you ever need more help!

[lament trail]

Wow!

[surreal hollow]

ok.

i guess i can hold on for a few more days

[lament trail]

I can stay!

I sadly can't play games until next Monday, but I can still talk

[surreal hollow]

ok

[lament trail]

Thank u!

[surreal hollow]

i might make a vc so I can talk with some people.

[lament trail]

What u gonna play?

[surreal hollow]

probably marvel rivals

its my favorite game

[lament trail]

I can't talk bc parents asleep, but I can listen, and type

[lament trail]

What is that?

[surreal hollow]

a fun game. You know Marvel?

[lament trail]

Sorry, I only rly play Roblox

[lament trail]

Yeah

My fav is Hawkeye series

I actually did a bit of Archery with my mom bc of it!

[surreal hollow]

Its like Marvel characters fighting each other. And you have to strategy your way to victory.

[lament trail]

Very fun. We got snacks from an h mart after

[surreal hollow]

It is like the game overwatch but 100x better.

[lament trail]

Cool

Do u chose a marvel character and. Play against the other characters being played by a real person?

[surreal hollow]

Well yeah! You can practice by playing against AI or compete with actual people!

[lament trail]

Nice. I only rly like multiplayer games, bc it was to make friend

[lament trail]

What overwatch?

[surreal hollow]

a shooter

[lament trail]

Oh

I used to play something called Deadshot.io

It's a website

[surreal hollow]

wanna hop in a call and I can show you?

[lament trail]

Fps game, and I used to be like daily leader board good

Sure!

[surreal hollow]

ok

[lament trail]

Dms or somewhere else?

[surreal hollow]

dms if we could

[lament trail]

Also I won't be able to talk sadly

[surreal hollow]

actually nah here

[surreal hollow]

that's fine!

[lament trail]

Ok

I called

I will prob message in dm

But not talk in vc

[surreal hollow]

Ok

[surreal hollow]

Is there a chat in each vc?

[lament trail]

Idk

I would use dm chat

[surreal hollow]

Ok if you want I am in the Vc!

[lament trail]

Kk

[lament trail]

Where?

@surreal hollow

It's not in dms

[surreal hollow]

Oh mb

[tawny jetty]

You aren't stupid for worrying about them more, it's normal. We care about you and so does your therapist... Please tell them something at least, like the cuts, or you've been struggling to keep your food down. Make sure to drink water, I know you're capable of doing it yourself, so please don't have me remind you every 30 minutes. 🥺 I will hopefully talk to you later. Sorry for worrying you last night, I'm fine.