I crave the (not sexual) touch of one of my classmates. I've had a couple of crushes, but compared to this, they feel like nothing. I've liked him for 3 years now, and I think he might know through friends telling friends, and it ended up getting to him, but I'm not sure. I am openly gay/ idk what it is when you are nonbinary but like nonbinary and male. I don't talk to him much, but whenever I see him, I think of curling up in bed after a hard day, and just having him there for me. Holding my hand. I doodle in a small notebook, and if these drawing were to be looked at I would cry. I have never been interested in anything sexual, and idk if I ever will be, however just having someone to kiss, or hug on a bad day, something to look forward to at the end of the day. But because of this I feel disgusted with myself. He isn't like a 'handsome heart-throb" or anything, he's just cute in my eyes. I know that he isn't like taken or anything, but I know he is aro/ace. I am disgusted with myself because even though I know this, I just can't let my crush go. I have never truly had a conversation with him, and Everytime I do, I just end up staring at him when he looks away. I also feel that I am very obese, and I am disgusted with my body, even though I am 50th percentile for my age. Doctors say that I'm physically healthy, however I just want more. I don't know what it will take to be happy with myself. Some days I refuse to eat until my teachers or parents notice, and then I will eat a little in order to not bring attention to it. I go on runs twice a week, and they are usually like 2 or more miles long. I also play a lot of sports, so I get a lot of exercise. Despite this I still feel like a person who never gets anything done, and doesn't deserve a loving touch from anyone. Some days I don't eat, and others I eat way too much. Half of the time, my autism and bullies get in the way of me having a normal day.
#I feel disgusting
west topaz
I crave the (not sexual) touch of one of my classmates. I've had a couple of cru...
you're not disgusting for having a crush on him, even if he's aroace. you can't help it. you just happen to have a crush on him...and that's okay
unfortunately i'm not really sure how to help (i'm 13), but i understand what you're going through.....
i relate to basically everything you're saying in the post (except the crushes + the sports)
fair kettle
i relate to basically everything you're saying in the post (except the crushes +...
Oh it doesn't rly relate