#Tw: toxic household, mentions of sh and suicide,

117 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

green kiln
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So erm I haven't been going too well mentally due to the household I'm in due to it being toxic as if the constant yelling.

So basically the only time there's no yelling is about rn as I typed this out which is basically 9pm - 6am that's the only time I can get peace and quiet. Half the night I don't even sleep and I don't know why I'm also always overwhelmed especially if I'm in a very loud and crowded place I cannot deal with people. I also have trouble communicating with people I hardly know I also don't trust a lot of people due to previous issues leading to it.

Today wasn't the best due to a lot of people and what happened after I got home from school. Okay so today's my little sisters birthday and I got home from school I go to my room to put my bag down and my brother is at his door and he mutters just loud enough for only me to hear and he told me to kms I told my parents but they brushed it off and my dad said do it. My fucking father said do it, just go do it he said that to me he doesn't know how that has now fucked me up more so they left to go to the shop.

They left me to go and do some shopping for my little sisters birthday (like cake, and presents). And I'm annoyed bc I got home not too long before and I have to do this and my little sister is yelling at me and I yell back. But I didn't mean to I was just overwhelmed and hurt from what was said to be before so were yelling at each other. My brothers then yell at me and tell me off and at that point I had enough and was too overwhelmed so I went to my room and got a blade I had. And I started to cut due to being overwhelmed and it worked it did help me calm down but I was still extremely mad and hurt from what happened. But erm my household is just very toxic and that isn't the first time ive been told to kms from my brother that's at least his forth time telling me that and each time my parents brush it off like it's nothing.

random mason
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im so sorry sometimes family sucks if you ecer want to vent my dms are always open no matter what

potent onyx
green kiln
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That's the thing I can't I'm fostered so I can't really do much and I'm too scared to ask to move

potent onyx
late fern
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You don't have to tell your parents about it.

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If you want, you can also see if you want to see if you have autism.

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I say this because being very sensitive to louder sounds is a common symptom of autism

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If you end up having it, then you may be able to get an IEP plan, which can help make school a better place for you.

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But I feel that the thing holding u back the most is your parents.

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I say, try to maybe see if you could get re fostered

magic mulch
# green kiln That's the thing I can't I'm fostered so I can't really do much and I'm too scar...

I'm in the same position. I'm also fostered (been with my foster family since 3 days old, and I am related to my foster mother but not my foster father but I just call them my parents) but my 'siblings' from my foster family, specifically my younger 'brother', are quite toxic.

The thing I tend to do most is try to avoid them as much as possible, like stay in my room or go out with my IRL friends. Listening to music that you enjoy also might help a lot, as I find it helps me. I hope you stay as safe as you can be <33

green kiln
green kiln
# late fern Why are you scared to ask?

Bc they don't normally listen to me much and they put a lot of responsibility on me and it's quite overwhelming for me and I've also tried to ask to see if I have anything like that but they avoid the question or just say that I have an attitude or stuff like thag

green kiln
potent onyx
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you will get out dont worry

green kiln
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I don't know how long I can tho it's really affecting me and my mental health is getting worse by the day

magic mulch
green kiln
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I stay away from them as much as possible but bc I had to move rooms I have now lost the privacy to lock my door so I can't do that anymore and my brothers would just randomly come and annoy me and my little sister just barges in demanding for me to do things for jer

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Her*

late fern
green kiln
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I can't anymore I just fucking can't I got the choice to stay home so I took it I knew it was a bad idea I got yelled at not too long ago and I tried to go to school to get out of the yelling and it just caused me to get yelled at more now I'm hyperventilating and I'm overwhelmed I just want to go already I'm done with this life I can't deal with it anymore I just want to go

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I can't calm down

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I'm fucking done with everything rn I was to leave

late fern
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STAY WITH US PLEASE

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THERE IS SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR

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PLEASEE

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DONT DO IT

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THERE ARE ALWAYS PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU AND WANT TO HELP YOU

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PLEASE RESPOND

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I NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE STILL WITH US

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NO

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@green kiln

green kiln
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I'm just done with everything I can't take it anymore

late fern
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No

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NO PLEASE NO

late fern
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PLEASE DONT DO IT

green kiln
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Idk what to do anymore I'm sick of it I'm sick of this stupid family I'm in

late fern
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PLEAS TELL ME THAT YOU ARE JOKING

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I CAN GET YOU SUPPORT

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I CAN TALK TO U RN

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PLEASE NO

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THERE ARE HOTLINES

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988

green kiln
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I don't want to die but then again I do I just don't know what to do anymore I have four yrs until I'm out of the foster care system I don't know if I can last that long I'm sick of everything that's happening and how I'm always the target I'm starting to think that I could have things wrong with me

late fern
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PLEASE I WANT TO HELP YOU

late fern
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YOU ARE WONDERFUL A

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PLEASE TELL SOMEONE WHO PROFESSIONAL

green kiln
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I can't tho even if I do end up calling I can't say anything bc I would panic and I will only say half of the story and not everything

late fern
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Write a script maybe?

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Definitely talk to a counselor or a teacher

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You need support from someone other than a person on discord

green kiln
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I'm not even at school today and I'm afraid of I try to leave the house again I'll get yelled at bc I tried to go to school to leave home to get out of the toxic situation but I got yelled at from trying to go to school

late fern
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THEY WONT LET U GO TO SCHOOL????

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CALL CPS

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THIS IS REALLY BAD

green kiln
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Mum yelled at me for trying to go to school bc "I wanted to get out of doing housework" no I wanted to get out of the yelling yet it caused me to get yelled at more so now I'm not even going to leave my room bc ik she won't let me leave the house even tho she's going to wake up tmrw like nothing happened today and send me to school like usual but the only day I get an option to stay home it goes all bad and I just want to go to school rn to get away from everything but I can't

late fern
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U can tell them not to tell ur parent's

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But this is bad and u need to tell someone

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Please stay with us

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Please

green kiln
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I can't trust anyone at school tho not even the school counselor

late fern
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Watch cat videos

late fern
green kiln
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I have a hard time trusting people and the school counselor and teacher have to report everything that's said especially if I tell them that I'm hurting myself or that I want to commit and if I tell them either of those two things even ifs it accidental they will tell my mother and I don't want her to know bc she's the whole reason and she will act all nice over the phone then when I'm home she will yell at me and then I'll get in trouble

late fern
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Please tell an adult

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I can only do so much for you

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Are you still there???

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@green kiln I need to know that you still are with us

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I want to help you as much as I can

green kiln
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Yeah sadly I'm still here

late fern
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Pleas don't say that

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I can talk in like 10 mins

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Please stay

green kiln
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Ok

late fern
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Thank you

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Also please tell me what I can do to help

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I really want to

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@green kiln

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@green kiln

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@green kiln please tell me ur still alive

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@green kiln I am very very worried for you

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please talk to me

green kiln
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Im still here I was just doing something to take my mind off thjngs

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Things*

late fern
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Phew. Sorry for spamming ping

green kiln
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It's okay

late fern
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Yk ur teachers won't tell ur parents if you only say that they are being unreasonable to you, and you can't live with them

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Maybe explain some of the unfair punishment

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Also how they won't let u go to School

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That's very big problem

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I can maybe help you write a script?

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Ik ur socially awkward

green kiln
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Yeah

late fern
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So u wanna write script with me?

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I need to make sure u talk with someone

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I need to make sure u get the help u need

green kiln
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Ig so

late fern
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Ok

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So what u wanna start with?

green kiln
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Idk I'm not too good with like telling people how I feel especially face to face

late fern
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That's why script good

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No need to think really

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Just reading

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Or you could have them read it even

green kiln
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I'll think of something then write it down I'ma go offline for a bit

late fern
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Ok