#Was it SA or am I just overreacting? (Vent)

25 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

bleak tendon
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Till this day, I'm still unsure whether what happened between my mother and I is considered SA. Everytime I try to remember those 'specific' moments, I feel disgusted at myself yet I'm worried that I'm taking it the wrong way. She doesn't act like 'that' anymore but whenever she just suddenly grabs me or holds me, I just get emotional and weak - nauseous even. This isn't the first time I've been SA'd but this is a relative, someone who raised me and fed me.

One of those moments was the time that my dad went on a business trip for a month and my big brother was at school, I was 7 or 8. My mother looked at me very weirdly. I still feel her hands on my thighs and chest sometimes. Her lips on my shoulders and neck. It still stings. My parts hurt more. She said she only did it because she loved me.

Regardless, I still love my mother. I just don't know how to feel about her most of the time, it makes me feel guilty. Am I just overthinking this? (sorry to those who are sensitive about this topic.)

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I feel guilty for posting this now, grahhh-

outer flower
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Yeah, that falls under the criteria for SA

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Was that the only time it happened?

bleak tendon
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But at least she doesn't do that anymore.

outer flower
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Did you ever tell anyone about it in your family?

bleak tendon
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I tried but they either told me that I was lying or just overthinking it.

outer flower
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I don't get why people think that someone would be lying about something like that...

bleak tendon
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I'm not exactly sure as well but it already happened, can't do anything about it but just cope and move on.

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It's difficult to so I'll just try to keep going, ofc with some support from my closest friends.

outer flower
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Oh, so do you at least have some people to talk to about it?

bleak tendon
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Yeah, a few actually - three people. It ain't much but they mean a lot to me.

outer flower
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That's good at least

crystal solstice
bleak tendon
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Yeyey^^

chrome rover
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The past is past after all. And the future still isn’t there. Only present counts. Well. I just wish you positive feelings in your life, and that’s already great that your mom doesn’t do that anymore. Lots of support from Belgium ^-^ !

crystal pivot
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Regardless whether it can be defined as SA or not, the way it made you feel is the most important thing. Your feelings are definitely valid and you don't have to feel guilty for feeling the way you do. If anyone did anything wrong it's your mother and the people that won't take your feelings seriously. I'm glad that you at least have some people that do take you seriously and that your mother doesn't intrude into your privacy like that anymore. You deserve all the support you need ❤️

slim pasture
crystal pivot
bleak tendon
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Thank you to those who said such kind words, it means a lot to me.❤️🥹 I really appreciate it, really. ^^

bleak tendon
slim pasture