normal torrent
I used to be somewhat smart for my age growing up. I read tons of books, had a great understanding of words, but now reading feels like a chore. I have to reread paragraphs over and over again until I can finally glean some sort of meaning from them. my writing has also somewhat faltered in this regard.
I'm also incredibly depressed despite not living with my emotionally abusive parents anymore. just getting out of bed is very hard, and I'm on several medications to "treat" my mental illness. one thing that makes me feel really awful is that, as a result of my suffering, I can't laugh anymore. I know that things become less funny when you become an adult, but I didn't expect to lose the ability to laugh. it's like I know that it's funny, but my sense of humor has taken a back seat and is mostly absent.
I guess that growing up autistic and with undiagnosed adhd set me up for failure. I'm only 22 years old and I feel like I can't do anything with my life because barely anything worthwhile brings me joy. my brain has become a processed sludge from all of the bullshit in this world. I wish I could hit a big reset button and restart my life with all of the knowledge I had previously like a roguelike. maybe then I would have a chance to not be such an insufferable eeyore.
hollow depot
patent jewel