#I'm just done rn

20 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

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TW: neglect, sh and "thougts", Chromic illness, and R word.

I read the rules and I think this stays in the rules but idk. Sorry if this is to much, don't continue reading if it's to much for you. Take care of yourself, and have a wonderful day
I've felt like an inconvenience my whole life tbh, I'm always ignored and when ppl do talk to me they act like they don't want to be. I'm never the friend that gets told anything, I'm just the "backup friend".. I'm homeschooled too (not online school!), but BC my parents don't pay much attention to me (bc I have 6 siblings, and they don't like me) I basically teach myself everything for school. I feel like I'm just here to help everyone else, but when I need help they (everyone) thinks I'm joking. At this point I lay in my bed all day and I have "thoughts" and sh-ing alot lately. It's gotten worse bc I only get attention when someone wants something from me, weather that be for cleaning, baby sitting, school notes, my body, or when they have a problem that they need help with.
I feel like it be better if I was gone, bc I'm just here to make everyone else happy. I have 3 Chronic illnesses (MCAS, POTS, EDS) and my family doesn't have the finances to pay for the medical care that I need.. I have reactions to stuff all the time but my parents say just rest and you'll be fine, or "you're just overthinking it". If I were gone, I wouldn't bother anyone with my problems or make anyone feel like they have to talk to me. So idk.. Idk what to do, I feel stupid asking for help tbh. But if anyone knows what to do or how to help, that would be great. If not then that's fine too. Idk maybe I am being dramatic, but whatever ig..
Anyways. Don't let my words get you down, have a good day. And remember to eat, walk around and most of all. Don't forget to smile

little swan
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smile when i know this bullshit is going on? fuck no

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your not dramatic in the slightest (i searched those 3 illnesses up)

keen socket
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I don't know how to help you feel better on the spot but it seems like a lot of the weight you carry is due to your family. I believe it will get better once you'll be independant from them. I suggest you look for a free therapist. It won't solve all your problems but you could be listened to by someone who you won't feel like you "bother". Stay strong, keep fighting for you, be your own protector. Also a lot of people live happily with the chronic illnesses you have (it greatly helps if it's treated of course). Don't give up. I think time should help you get better mentally. Last note : people who love you won't feel like you're a burden when you need to vent ! You have all my support <3

little swan
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but trust me Nicole,feeling like a burden is relateable

subtle jasper
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Would your parents be willing to let you be public schooled?

subtle jasper
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# keen socket I don't know how to help you feel better on the spot but it seems like a lot of ...

I know lots of people live with these illnesses. But mine are completely untreated and I can't do most things that my friends and family do. I can't do anything in the warmer months at all bc I get Covered in rashes, can't breathe and I get heat stroke. So I personally don't know how I'm supposed to live happily like this. I haven't even seen a doctor in like 6 years so my conditions are just getting worse.. No trying to be rude in anything that im saying, just explaining. But ya, Thanks for the support.

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subtle jasper
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To be honest, it sounds like this could be classified as neglect on behalf of your parents which is a valid reason to call CPS

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Then again, I don't know where in the world you live so policies may be different

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But I don't think I'd call CPS on my parents. I don't feel right doing that

subtle jasper
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Idk would this still be neglect or would this be something else?

subtle jasper
keen socket
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ig you're right about that