kiro crashout

[quick compass]

i just can’t even be bothered anymore i AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TT i’m so sad like i don’t even know specifically why because there’s so many potential triggers i went from never fronting to fronting almost all day everyday and it’s such a big change plus everything else going on both in the system and in our house and i just can’t handle anything anymore everything bad that happens feels like it’s my fault and im taking all the blame for things even i know had nothing to do with me :c everyone around me is so used to me being all positive and optimistic but im so so sad i feel like a burden to everyone around me and i feel so childish for acting the way i do at my big age TT i just don’t like today

[mental crag]

Apologies for the question but I’m curious, do you get to decide when you front or does it just happen?

[versed flume]

sometimes it’s a decision, sometimes it’s a trigger

[mental crag]

Hmm, interesting

What triggers it in the case of triggers?

[versed flume]

the most common one for us is highly stressful or sensitive situations

if someone feels overwhelmed, it can trigger a switch

[mental crag]

What do you think is causing the system to feel overwhelmed?

[versed flume]

i’d rather not state that because it’s a little personal TT i’m sorry

[mental crag]

No worries, I don’t want to push you out your comfort zone

Do others in the system experience similar issues?

also when you talk about blame, do you just mean because you’re fronting?

[versed flume]

probably TT i’ve been a little rude to everyone else so they’re not exactly happy with me :c when i say i blame myself for everything, i guess it is partially because im fronting TT it’s like, im in control of the body but im not actually in control of everything that happens and it makes me feel powerless

[lapis glacier]

now that i think about it i kind of do the same thing but like when im mad its really tough to live with that just know its not your fault maybe explaining to those people why your saying the things your saying could help them understand your situation so that you will fell less guilty cause its really not your fault that this is all happening in these times you dont have to be optimistic or play the act like you are just be yourself rn and tell people what your going through so that they can understand (only tell people that like you trust) and for know just push through until you can tell your parents or whoever is caring for you so that you can get in contact with a counselor or therapist that will be able to help you